Indigomoon

Indigomoon

"

Reading takes you places, writing helps you invent it, both helps bring the world a magical place to escape .

"
jonesboro, AR
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Posted 4 Months Ago


OVERALL REVIEW - Chapter 1-6 / Midnight Toll

Your transitions to telling the story from one characters point of view to another is breathtaking. It event seem to run smoothly and your context is just enough to both hook the reader and to communicate to the reader why you decide to do a certain character point of view.

I also like the overlapping of events combined with the perspective transitions. Well done.

Also, your choice to slightly change both of the story structure and format to appropriately suit the event, atmosphere and context is brilliant. Although, a little bit more practice will do.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

I recommend adding a bit more adjectives along with your context for the "punch". It doesn't hurt to add a bit of descriptive language. Maybe describe the body language, facial expression or tone of voice to add "the tang".

Additionally, I suggest you should also start focusing on the grammar, punctuation and word choice.