The Bad Writing Contest  January 15, 2009 - April 15, 2009

Contest Completed


Worst of the Worst - [writing deleted]
Creme de la Crap - She Was A Dime
Loser Laureate - A Horrible First Sentence #2
Bloody Butcher of the English Language - You should hear what I hear
Ambiguous Alliterative Insult - Dark and Dreary


Submit the first sentence to the worst story imaginable. No limits on subject matter or anything, just make sure it's only one sentence. Have fun with it!

This contest is based off of a real-life bad writing contest, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Here's their website, for ideas or in case you want to enter it.

By the way, this is supposed to be tongue in cheek. After rereading the description and prizes it seems like an insulting concept, but that's not how it was meant. The idea is to write something over the top and absurd, making it fun and funny. Here are some samples from the official contest:

"Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay -- the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make."
~ Shannon Wedge

"Mike Hummer had been a private detective so long he could remember Preparation A, his hair reminded everyone of a rat who'd bitten into an electrical cord, but he could still run faster than greased owl snot when he was on a bad guy's trail, and they said his friskings were a lot like getting a vasectomy at Sears."
~ Robert B. Robeson

"Though her beloved Roger had departed hours ago, Lila remained in their rumpled bed, daydreaming about his strong arms, soulful eyes, and how, when he first fell asleep, his snoring sounded not unlike two grizzly bears fighting over a picnic basket full of sandwiches, but as he drifted off into deeper slumber, his snoring became softer, perhaps as if the bears decided just to rock-paper-scissors for it instead."
~ Lili R. Lillie

"Her name was Mauve, like the color of paint, which was apt: not only was she "pretty as a painting," she was also "smart as paint," and certainly as thin (assuming sufficient solvents had been added); she was, however, Arnold discovered when she stepped from the shower, a lot more fun to watch dry."
~ Steven W Alloway

"It was a dark and stormy night, except when the lightning flashed, because then it wasn't dark; it sort of turned the windows into a giant disco ball for a moment, but eventually the thunder and lightning stopped and it settled down to a steady light rain, so then it really was dark, but it would probably be a stretch to call it stormy."
~ Laura Loomis


the sense of satisfaction which comes with a job poorly done



9 Contestants
15 Submissions
Created Jan 16, 2009