The perfect description.

The perfect description.

A Lesson by aleexbabee

Now that you have completed the first paragraph, i want to teach you how to make it a lot better by adding descriptive writing!


Welcome back, so far you should have written your first paragraph. If you haven't then i advise you to read the first step on writing a perfect novel!
Alright, One of the most important part of a novel is the descriptive writing. Being descriptive makes your story a lot more interesting as it helps the reader imagine. For example, if your novel is about swimming in the great barrier reef, then instead of writing, i swam in the Great barrier reef, you would write, On Monday morning i swam in the calm, colourful waters of the beautiful Great Reef. Do you see how much better that sounds?

First of all let's start of simple. Describing your people/ creatures. Let's say your main characters a little boy named Harry. In your second paragraph you must describe what your character looks like. So, in the first paragraph on of your novel you might of written something like this-

In 2008 (when), there was a little boy named Harry (who). He lived with his mother, father, sister and grandfather in a small cottage in England (where). Harry loved England but sadly him and his family have been deported back to Canada (what). Now Harry must fight to stay in the country he loves.

See how the open paragraph is simple yet tells the reader what the story is about. Well, your next paragraph is where the description comes in. Before you describe anything else you must, absolutely must, describe your main character. Now, the best novels always describe with great detail and since I'm helping you right a perfect novel then I'm going to do just that! To describe Harry we must first get a picture in our mind of what he looks like. This is the best part of the novel because you can make them look like anything you want. Go wild and make them how you want! Make them look funny, sad, weird, evil, anything!!!
When i say describe them with great detail, this is what i mean. Instead of saying, He wore a dark-blue sweater, you could write,  he wore a dark-blue sweater with silver lining, sown carefully by his grandmother. Do you see how much better that sounds! Also, it starts the characters personality. If i described harry like this-

*Harry was the smallest boy in the family, he had thick, black glasses with big hazel eyes. He had messy, black hair which was cut very neatly and freckles around his nose. He wore long cargo pants that hit the floor and a checkered dark-blue and dark-green with silver lining sweater that his mother fought determined for on a bidding war on eBay.

First, i have described him with great detail and even added how he had received the cloths and if you picture this boy in your head it gives you an idea of his personality as well. A 'nerd'.
Personality is the next thing you must describe. It is no use to have a great description of your main character if there isn't a personality to match. Now, you must stick to one set of traits only. You cannot have a brainy kid which everyone picks on be the school bully. It just doesn't work. You must remember what he looks like and get the personality off that, well, atleast some of it.
For example, i have just described what Harry looks like, and we have decided that he resembles a 'nerdy' child. So i must start his personality off of the information that i already have.

i.e- (Adding on the the previous description *) Harry was one of those people who didn't really work well with other children his age, infact he wasn't good with people period. He was a quiet, well behaved, intelligent, young boy whom relies on computers and technology for comfort.

As you can see, i have described what he is like, how he acts and any other information that may be relevant. Now that you have described the main character in as much detail as possible you are ready to move onto other characters of your story. But, so it doesn't get boring, don't describe them in as much detail as your main character and if the character isn't important then don't bother to describe them in great detail!

Now, since you know how to describe what a person looks like, you can now describe what a location looks like. Describing a location is as important as describing the main character. When you describe the location, you give the reader a chance to imagine they're in that place. Fore example, Harry   starts out living in a small cottage in England so first you describe the outside scenery-

Harry lived in a small, old cottage with a dark-green roof and bright orange door which stood out amongst the bushes and shrubs that surrounded it. The cottage was near a little, quiet, neighborly street which was very peaceful. The sun shone right above their cottage and they always got a cool breeze blown from the beautiful, tall tree's surrounded by colourful flowers which brought the neighborhood to life.

Do you see how I've not only described the outside of the house but also the street and the surroundings? Now you must describe the inside of the house. You must describe all of the rooms and the furniture. I'll show you by describing Harry's bedroom.

Harry's room wasn't your typical boys bedroom, No, it was another planet. On the far hand corner on the left layed his single bed. It was covered in a light blue bed spread with the five of his favorite planets. Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Venus and Earth. He the had a long, wooden desk with a laptop computer and other, scientific technological products surrounding it. He then had a bookshelf near his door full of books about space and science. Like i said, not a typical boys room.

Alright,  now you must do that with all the rooms in the house. Right now, your paragraph should be pretty long! Well, if you can do both of them, then you should be ably to describe anything.

Your assessment is to write your second paragraph and put everything i have explained into it. I want you to describe every little detail.
Good luck =]

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Added on June 7, 2010
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SYD!!, you dont need to know!!, Australia

heey im alex and i am 14 years of age. I live in australia with a huge family, i started writing when i was about 9 and i absolutly love it. I am rather good and have won a few competitions due to my ..