No "Write" Way : Forum : Show don't Tell


Show don't Tell

9 Years Ago


Is there ever an appropriate time to tell?Tell me about it?

Re: Show don't Tell

9 Years Ago


I feel there has to be balance between the two.  If you do all tell and no show (which is what usually happens) then you have a boring piece (think instruction manuals).  If you do all show and no tell the reader may not be able to 'get' what is going on.

For example lets look at commercials.  For the purposes of this topic, in a commercial showing is when they show how people enjoy the product or what the product can lead to; telling is when they make a point of specifically telling you about the product or the product itself is the main focus of the shot (because this is basically them telling you the commercial is about the product visually). 

There are the commercials that have the one guy telling you about the product for a minute and that's it.  It's hard to remember these commercials because they're boring. All tell in a story leads to the same result.  (To find this example I searched 'Reverse Mortgage Commercial' because I knew they were boring but couldn't remember a particular one') 

Here's an example: 

Then there are the commercials that do all show and no tell.  At the end of the commercial you are really engaged but five minutes later you can't remember what the product was supposed to be.  A story with all show will engage the reader for a time but eventually they will ask what the story is about.  (To find this example I searched 'Halo Dancing Hamsters' because I could remember the commercial but not the product)

Like this: 

The best thing is to strike a balance.  Use show to catch and keep attention but have just enough tell so the audience always knows what the story is about.  Lots of show with a big dollop of tell.  Here's a commercial that is memorable because it both shows and tells.  (To find this one I searched 'Coca Cola GTA', I remembered the product and specific commercial.  This is what you want!  For a reader to remember enough about your story that even if they can remember the title they could still find it again after a little searching.)

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Anyway this is my thinking, I hope the examples (and my reasoning) were clear!

Cheers,
Lawrence

Re: Show don't Tell

9 Years Ago


Pretty much what Lawrence said. Trying to get all fancy and "show" everything that is happening in the story, you often run into the terrible Purple Prose. Trying to show every action and event would just get annoying after awhile. I don't need to be shown someone walking down the street. If you tell me someone walks down the street I am not about to picture a two headed monster crawling down the street on four legs. 

Telling an entire story on the other hand is just boring. He swung a sword. Wow, such action and power in that sentence. You have to show us the important bits so we can get a good idea of what is happening and most importantly to keep us engaged. If the entire story is "A man walked down the street. He saw a building. He went into the building." then you have a pretty boring story going on. 

You need to have a nice balance, and really, it is one of the hardest things for new writers to learn. Creative writing is an art form. You have to balance you colors and shades, Showing vs telling, in order to create a cohesive, meaningful picture that people are actually going to be interested in. 

Re: Show don't Tell

9 Years Ago


Indeed, it is about balance... and one of those things which cannot be defined.  It is all about feeling the tempo of a story, which is what makes it so challenging.  Furthermore, it will shift depending on the genre and complexity that you are writing. 

One approach of 'telling' is to use it deceptively; generally in regard to purpose or thought.  If you tell too much of the story's meaning, it strips the reader of the privilege of figuring it out themselves. (although if a story is very complex, you may need to strike a balance or risk it becoming an incoherent mess)  Anyway, some examples of deceptive 'telling' would be: if you are, as a narrator, justifying a characters actions, you can tell what 'appears' to be the full situation.  This allows you to tell incomplete information, but by using the guise of a narrator, you can mislead the reader since they often view the voice of a narrator as being absolute.  We often view characters as being deceptive, but innately trust the narrator; so it is the best way to subtly contort the story.  You can use either subtle paradoxes, or you can do a full-blown contradiction--such as introducing a setting, and then gradually introducing details which contradict--see my story "Harvester's Smile" for an example of this.  In the story, the narration will state things which are later contradicted, and also attempt to explain away character's actions as though they should not be blamed.  You can also use this ironically, which can be a bit difficult to explain or pull off, the closest I have come was in my story "Nusquam Prefers to Remain Anonymous", which is a satirical piece.

Re: Show don't Tell

9 Years Ago


I like this idea of "balance". (LawrenceRaybon, WhereItResides) Typically the majority should be showing, but you still need to move things along.
Reviewers have pointed out that the following excerpt of one of my pieces is telling and not showing. I agree it is telling, but I needed to give the reader a quick briefing on the characters' relationship and did it in a way that is 'descriptive' telling and from a character's perspective. (Nusquam Esse)


"Alexei struggled to control himself. He needed to take the edge off and Jack’s annoying presence was not helping. The temptation to push Jack against the nearest wall and explain what else could kill surfaced. This idea came up at least five times a day. So far he had played the part of nonviolent translator flawlessly. Jack’s only marketable skill was pushing Alexei’s buttons. He suspected Jack got the job because he was the boss’ step-kid. Somehow Jack managed to arrest an average number of unregistereds, so he was not completely useless."

Therefor, I am going to continue "breaking" the show vs. tell rule.
CAUTION. The show vs. tell rule is a good rule to follow. Typically writers have too much telling and not enough showing - so telling them "show don't tell" helps. However, at a certain point you just want to give a quick synopsis of the tension between two characters (as I did above) and not draw out the plot with inserted snippets of shown tension.

Feel free to reply with excerpts from your own writing when you justify breaking the "show don't tell" rule.