The Critic Boutique Forum Grammar Problems in "Over..

For those of you who have read "Overtime" I am sure you have spotted grammatical errors and there may seem to be some words missing; because Meggan pointed these problems out to me in her review.  I wrote the story on the spur of the moment merely because I wanted to add new writing to my profile.  I was thinking of writing a book of erotic short stories - similar to Zane's "The Sex Chronicles" - based on the main characters and realistic settings; and I would like this to be the first story. So I would appreciate it if everyone/anyone could look it over and tell me what changes they suggest or need to be made.


Thank you