Want Some Reviews? Forum Grammar teacher services avail..

mickeroo	Grammar teacher services available 7 Years Ago Hey everyone! Like the title says, I'm a grammar teacher. I'd love to look over people's stories if they'd look over mine. I know what constitutes good grammar, but not necessarily good storytelling. That's where I think we can help each other out. Message me if you're interested.
carebear8741	Re: Grammar teacher services available 7 Years Ago Hi, this is TY! I'm new here & joined to get some ideas & help on my poetry & maybe even help some people too :) It's awesome that you are a grammar teacher!!! Just the kind of person to review a poem :D My Mom is turning 54 on 10-2-16 & she is Libra which is an air sign. For her birthday I am sending my Mom up in a HOT AIR BALLOON!!! I am attempting to finish a poem I started which I will hand write in a card & give to her along with her ticket. Here is what I got so far: 'Up in the sky where the sun shines bright & the moon tells secrets to the stars at night; & the magpie nests in an old oak tree while a crisp autumn wind rustles it's leaves. Up in the sky where a rainbow's tied & a huge elephant... YES, that's what I spied! & there's a pirate ship, jolly roger flying proud, drifting through the sky as a whit puffy cloud. All my dreams & imagination never took me to this destination. Fireworks, down under, Paris, a zoo, a yellow brick road, an ocean of blue, & a million other things rolled into one couldn't, just couldn't, be half as fun as...' & here is where I get stuck. Figuring I have 1-2 more paragraphs to go, are there any suggestions on how I can tie this thing up? I am going for the whimsical feeling here because hot air balloons in themselves are whimsical. Suggestions for the beginning & body are welcome too, however I really need to concentrate on the ending. Thnx for any advice & input you can give!!!
Kanishka	Re: Grammar teacher services available 7 Years Ago This my first poem here at WritersCafe. I wish to proceed but not without knowing what readers feel about it. My target is to articulate as eloquently as possible and please let me know how far I have been successful in doing so. Emerging from the Dirt A Poem by Kanishka She has made a mistake that she cannot come out from without regrets. But soon she accepts it and moves on. Read on to get a deeper insight. Drawn towards it,she walked.. To us, not a word she talked! It pulled her firmly. It did not seem to hurt.. She walked grimly towards the dirt.. She thought she'd be set free, unfortunately, it was more than just a spree.. Dirt! Oh the word sounds so bad! But this indulgence never made her sad. She didn't know what she was approaching then how could she escape poaching! She didn't think then. She was a fool! She is thinking now. She is still a fool! With dirty nails and dirty hair hair strands.. She returns and cleanses her hands.. But the dirt has percolated.. It has left her isolated.. She now wishes to wash her skin.. But what about the dirt within? She now knows she can't be clean again.. Yet she resolved to remain sane! She now wishes for immunity.. Against anything that is even remotely dirty.. She has stepped into a pool of regrets.. Now as time passes she only forgets.. She might be caged inside herself for a while.. But very soon she's gonna learn to smile! We can only wait patiently and see.. Until she emerges as a bird absolutely free!!