Knights and Dragons

Knights and Dragons

A Story by 50centdolly
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A short story I wrote in 9th grade. Needs a few tweaks.

"
       It starts out with a merciless, red glow in the peasants' eyes whose screams are drained out by the roaring of fire. Wooden houses are burning without mercy, and the hay fields are roaring with flames. Some were lucky enough to escape their houses in time, only to find themselves huddled in a frightened circle, the children cowering in the middle.

 

The dragon's laughter can be heard over the raging fire, deep and vicious. The source of the laughter changes each time a large, winged shadow sweeps across the ground, the circle of peasants moving away from it each time. The dragon seemed to have gotten bored of this and landed about half an hour later. Wanting to make quite the entrance, he decides to land on top of a burning house. Sparks shoot up with tongues of flame as the wood splinters under the weight of the winged creature; the black scales reflect the glowing flames without fault, giving off a frightening look to the dragon. He smiles, his jagged teeth menacing, as his wonderful entrance frightens the puny people even more, bringing his wings down after a moment, his tail absently knocking down a burning house next to his pedestal. Sitting on his haunches, he found himself wishing he had a nice herd of horses to munch on while her watched the puny people cower before him.

 

After another moment of this, his voice rumbles the ground, “Where is your queen? I demand to see her.” The lizard’s scaly head lowers to the ground about 5 feet from the frightened circle. No one seems to be able to talk, annoying the dragon slightly.

 

“If no one is willing to speak up, I’ll have to, of course, kill you all…”

 

“Wait!!” a small voice calls out desperately, as the dragon lifts his head high readying himself to produce fire. The black dragon pauses and looks down at the person belonging to the voice. Cocking his head to the side, he lowers his head down again to meet the brave person, who is no more than a kid of about ten years old. Quite handsome for a ten-year-old boy, sporting long limbs and medium length brown hair. His simple clothes are charred and blackened from the fire. It seemed as if his parents were killed by the blasts of fire, because no one held him back. The dragon looked at the boy and brought down his spiked head to the height of the boy’s small frame. The dragon was so close; his hot breath was blowing the boy’s hair back.

 

"So," the dragon said, amused, “Who do we have here?”

 

The boy backed up slightly, afraid, but in awe at the dragon’s structure, “T-t-timothy.”

 

“Timothy, eh?” The inky black dragon raised his head and leaned back, “You think you know where I can find the queen?”

 

“Y-y-yes.”

 

“And where might that be, hm?”

 

Timothy, unable to think through the fear that has overtaken his thoughts, told the dragon, “I can sh-show you, where.”

 

The dragon threw his head back and barked a low, deafening laugh, vibrating the ground. When he finished he brought his head close to Timothy again, turning, so an eye the size of a dish was looking at the boy fully " Timothy ended up looking into the dragon’s, dark purple eye.

 

 

When Timothy looked in the dragon's cat like eye, he saw such sadness and such rage in it; he felt a twinge of sympathy for the dragon. Timothy, who was terrified and awed at the dragon's form didn't respond right away, "Actually, yes. Yes I was." The dragon lifted his head and chortled at the boy with obvious amusement. When he was done, he made his head level with the boy's frame once again and then asked in a cunning voice, "What is your name my dear boy?"


Puzzled by the dragon's question, the boy said, "My name is Timothy, sir."


"Ah yes! Someone knows their place; finally."


The boy, not wanting to get covered in flames said with a shaky voice, "Yes. You have the highest, er, authority here, er, your highness."


"I like you. You will make a nice servant."

And with that, the dragon picked up the running boy with his giant claw, held him close to his chest, and flew to his lair where the boy will have the rest of his future.


Why, Timothy thought, didn't he just kill me?


Timothy stopped struggling after a while because he could feel himself tiring quickly. He decided to open his eyes a little bit and they were soon very wide open. He was amazed at the scenery around him. He could see the tops of trees and the animals bolting from the sight of the orange dragon.


Good idea, Timothy thought, but the dragon can breathe fire.


This thought amused him so much that he laughed out loud, but it was carried away by the wind. The dragon, however, heard his laugh and asked in his deep voice, curious, "Why, puny child, do you laugh?"


"Well," Timothy started yelling over the wind, "the animals are running from the sight of you but they don't realize that running is useless."


"And why is that?"


Timothy was quite amused by this and replied laughing and shouting over the wind, "Because you can breathe fire."


The dragon laughed heartily and replied, "Why didn't I think of that?"


After the dragon said this, Timothy got the feeling that this dragon wasn't so bad after all.


 

When they got to the dragon’s lair, he set Timothy down and walked right in. Then the dragon stopped short and rumbled in his deep voice, “Oh, and remember, don’t…touch… anything.” As the dragon said this, he turned his head and looked intensely at Timothy. Timothy for a minute was so curious, that he wanted to run in and see what all was in it.

 

Is there really gold? Timothy asked himself. Are all the old stories actually true? Timothy walked in with a plan of escape with enough gold to support his village. He walked in, expecting a huge hoard of gold.

 

“Shoes?” Timothy asked out loud. The dragon’s lair was filled with racks of shoes of every kind imaginable. There were men’s shoes, women’s shoes, and even children’s shoes; neatly separated by size, shape, color, type, and by what gender wore them. It was, in a weird way, quite magnificent to Timothy, but he was disappointed at the same time.

 

“What did you expect? A lot of useless gold?” the Dragon asked in a maddened manner.

 

“Well…” Timothy started

 

“Oh you pathetic creatures!” the Dragon snarled, “Why would you think that I would be comfortable on a ton of lumpy, hard, useless gold?”

 

“I…I…I don’t really know s-s-sir.” Timothy stammered.

 

The Dragon shook his massive head and asked Timothy again, “Where is this queen. This time I expect an answer.” The dragon looked fiercely at Timothy and slithered to the boy.

 

“She is over at the castle.” Timothy said very quickly.

 

“And where is this castle?” the Dragon asked with disgust from the boy’s uninformative answer.

 

“To the east.” the boy squeaked, “The castle is to the east.”

 

“Thank you. You are coming with me.” The Dragon rumbled. This time, though, the giant beast didn’t pick up the boy; he merely crouched next to him.

 

“Well get on, we haven’t got all day.”

 

Timothy, flabbergasted by this, just nodded half in a daze and climbed up.

He had difficulty getting on because the dragon was so tall and his scales were polished and smooth. Before they took off, the Dragon informed Timothy of his name, “It is kind of getting tiring being called ‘sir’ all the time. My name is Fafnir.”

 

They went to the queen’s castle and the sun was setting. Fafnir cleverly flew into the sunset so he blended in with it. He did not go directly to the castle; instead he landed a good distance from it. He walked carefully to the castle, not wanting to destroy anything. The boy wondered why he was doing this and Fafnir sensed this.

 

“I do not want to destroy anything because I want an alliance against an enemy that I have. If they decline, then I destroy the whole city.”

 

Timothy nodded and right after he did he became angry at Fafnir for destroying his village. “Then why,” Timothy yelled, tears streaking down his face, “did you destroy my village? You killed my parents because of it!”

 

Fafnir was so startled by the boy’s reaction that actually backed away from the boy. Then getting his senses back answered the boy’s question.

 

“Because, Timothy,” Fafnir snarled menacingly, “no one would tell me where the castle was.”

 

“Oh! So you just threw a tantrum?” Timothy angrily growled, “You didn’t even ask us first!”

 

Fafnir replied with anger and dignity, “You dare question my actions?!” With that, Fafnir walked away to the castle, thinking of destroying it because of the boy’s foolish actions.

 

But as the sunset orange dragon walked he thought about what the boy had said. He thought and thought and soon had to stop because he began to run into trees. I have to control my actions and temper. Fafnir thought to himself and kept walking. He arrived at the castle and did not notice when a knight in armor came out to meet the dragon.

 

“Halt thou foul beast!” the overly confident knight said in a surprisingly smooth voice.

Fafnir paid no mind to the knight and just simply kept walking. Timothy, who followed the dragon, was quite impressed when Fafnir did not react to the knight’s description of him.

 

“I mean no harm here puny knight. I seek to speak to the queen.” The dragon rumbled in a businesslike manner.

 

“What do you need to speak to her for?” the knight questioned.

 

“Business matters.” Fafnir answered in a bored tone.

 

“What kind of business do you have with the queen?” the knight questioned further.

 

Fafnir glared at the knight who was obviously stalling him for something and replied to the knight in his sickeningly vicious voice, “Get the queen, or I will kill you and find her myself.”

Then, in a calmer voice he said, “If I wanted her to be dead, she would already be dead along with you and the whole city burned to the ground by now.”

 

The knight thought about this and said, “Very well. You do have a valid point.”

 

 Jane!” The knight ordered.

 

 A stout servant came out very cautiously and squeaked, “Yes mi-lord?”

 

“Get the queen and be quick!”      

 

The servant nodded and dashed away as quick as her little legs could carry her.

 

“That is amazingly fast for Jane.” the knight said, humored.

 

Fafnir rumbled a laugh and said, “Good one.”

 

The queen finally came out and looked up at the huge dragon and asked him in a surprisingly smooth voice, “Hello. What business is it that you need from me?” Fafnir took a moment to look at the queen before he replied. She had long, yellow hair, twisted up in a braided bun atop her head. She has a round face with strikingly gray eyes that had such dignity in them; Fafnir immediately knew he had chosen the right kingdom to come to. The queen had a proud and commanding atmosphere about her and acted like she expected to be obeyed. The queen was tall and beautiful in a way that Fafnir could not put into words.

 

“I would like to make an alliance with you.” Fafnir replied in his most business like voice.

 

“And,” the queen inquired, “what kind of an alliance are we discussing here?”

 

Fafnir, knowing that it was going to be a long discussion they were about to have, laid down and sighed, “I have an enemy, that you most likely have too, but you do not know it.”

 

“Who is this so-called enemy?”

 

“The king from a neighboring realm has tried to kill me many times, but whenever I try to get revenge, I end up being tricked and badly injured.” The sunset-orange dragon informed the queen. “He has tricked me too many times and I don’t think that any of these traps are of human making.”

 

“And what would you like us to do for you?” the queen asked seeming to be quite surprised by the dragon’s response.

 

“I need your knowledge of any magic and to help me fight this king.” Fafnir asked in his deep voice.

 

“What,” the queen questioned Fafnir in her most authorative voice, “will we get in return of this alliance?”

 

The dragon did not hesitate to answer the queen’s question, and told her what he would give in return in a proud voice, “I will protect you and your kingdom for as long as I live.”

 

The queen thought about this and seemed to be quite speechless at Fafnir’s request that she did not respond for what seemed like ages. She finally said, “Yes, I will accept your alliance and order the kingdom that no harm is to come to you for any reason lest it be a crime.”

 

Fafnir smiled a toothy grin and in his most thankful voice he could muster he said, “Thank you, human of royal blood. By the way, my name is Fafnir.”

 

“And I, Lucinda.” The queen responded in kind.

 

Timothy, after watching the whole thing, was so speechless, that his jaw dropped. Fafnir knew that Timothy had been watching and called out to him, “Timothy! There you are! I was wondering where you went.”

 

Timothy went over to Fafnir and still was speechless. He knelt in front of the queen, who said, “Rise, my dear boy.” He rose and picked at the hem of his shirt nervous. The queen noticed his clothing and asked Jane, who was standing by the door through which she went to get the queen, “Jane, find this boy some clothes, please.”

 

“Yes, your majesty.”

 

Fafnir asks Timothy, “Why are you so flabbergasted?”

 

“I am just amazed that is all.”

 

“Amazed at what exactly?”

 

“That not all dragons are cruel like everyone thinks they are.”

 

“No, my dear boy, they are not.”

 

Jane came back out with clothing for Timothy and he disappeared to change. When he came back out, Fafnir and Timothy went back to the dragon’s lair. Fafnir told Timothy to follow him and Timothy did. When Fafnir got to where he was going, he asked Timothy if he would like to pick a set of armor.

 

“Would I? I would love to!” Timothy exclaimed.

 

And with that, Timothy was trained to be a knight by the best knight there was at the castle. Fafnir, with the help of his new ally, defeated his enemy and in return, protected Lucinda’s kingdom. There was peace for many years for Fafnir and the kingdom, and the two worked together in harmony.


© 2017 50centdolly



Author's Note

50centdolly
Okay, so, please, please, please suggest a load of things. I wrote this in 9th grade and have never liked the ending to it. It's still bugging me. I changed the beginning few paragraphs a bit, but the dialogue still really needs polishing. I also feel like the ending is really cheesy, but I needed some kind of ending as my story was supposed to be like 2 pages long (it ended up being like 6 pages). Any suggestions are happily taken into account.

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Get rid of it starts out, and with that. They have no purpose. While a sentence can be lengthy it should feel tight. For example- And with that, the dragon picked up the running boy with his giant claw. Can be- the dragon picked up the running boy with his giant claw. The sentence conveys the same meaning. Also show don't tell. The peasants huddled in frightened circles can became, the peasants packed themselves back to back, the women and children crying within the center, there tears dried by the heat of there burning villige. Or a A stout servant came out very cautiously and squeaked. Could become, A man tiptoed into the chambor, his tunic tight around the waist with a flap of belly hanging out the end.
As for dialogue, try to make it either advance the plot, or develop character. "So," the dragon said, amused, “Who do we have here?”"," Could become. " A small boy" the dragon said, his mouth curling upward as if to smile. "This is the bravest amoung you?" " How pathetic".
It gives the dragon more of a personality. Every word someone speaks, can establish who they are, what is at stake and what the plot is about. One more example would be-“What,” the queen questioned Fafnir in her most authorative voice, “will we get in return of this alliance?”. Could now be-" I expect, something to be gained from this alliance, I do not offer my aid for free". This avoids the use of, authorative voice and instead her words give the impression she is speaking from a place of confidence. As for grammer and spelling, I suck at that, so you are on your own there. I hoped that helped and keep writing.

Posted 5 Months Ago



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Added on June 20, 2017
Last Updated on June 20, 2017