Flowers

Flowers

A Story by Aeneas Barton
"

A short conversation between two people.

"
They laid together, in bed, staring at the ceiling. The stars stuck on there had an afterglow that was starting to fade out. He turned to her to answer the question


"I wouldn't mind if she bought me flowers."

"You want a girl to buy you flowers?"

"Yea...why not? I mean its kind of a shame that when you are not a girl, nobody buys you flowers...unless you are dead, which sucks."

"Aren't you worried people will think you are gay?"

"Who cares, the point of a girl buying me flowers shows that she is...creative...or different."

"Unconventional"

"Yea, but not in that tranny unconventional sort of way."

"Right"

"I just wish I knew someone like that."

"Just someone who would buy you flowers?"

"Well not only that, but the whole mentality behind that, I want to find it in a person."

"You've been looking?"

"Sort of, just not in the right places I think."

"Well good luck with that."

"Thank you."

There was a silence between the two. There fingers brushed together ever so lightly. Each in their own mind was wondering if they had just felt the other.

"So how do you know I am not one of those types of girls?"

"I don't actually...but I hope you will let me stick around and find out."

"Sure...why not?"

They went back to looking at the ceiling. The fingers came together again, this time, they stayed together. He panicked. She smiled.

She thought about it, and decided, she would buy him flowers.


© 2013 Aeneas Barton



My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is such a sweet and simple moment!!! I love the dialogue--it just flows. If you wanted to expand it I think you could easily add more of their gestures (how it felt when their fingers touched, their postures, facial expressions) to convey the distance or closeness of their relationship. I like that there isn't any preliminary info but I think you could add dimension to the story by revealing or hinting at where the relationship was before this new turn. Overall amazing though!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JenJen

4 Years Ago

I definitely wouldn't call this flat--as a reader I can both identify with and read into the charact.. read more
Aeneas Barton

4 Years Ago

hhhm.... something to consider. I ended it with her deciding she would buy him flowers, not so much .. read more
Corey Slaughter

2 Years Ago

Beautiful and simple. I enjoyed reading this piece.



Reviews

"He panicked. She smiled."
That made me grin. :)

Also, have you heard of a song called "Flowers" by Emilie Simon?

Posted 3 Years Ago


This is excellent. Such an out of the ordinary conversation, but it works. A woman who will do this is special and one of a kind. It is NOT gay for a guy to recieve flowers from a lovely woman. Good work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Aw, this was so cute...it put the biggest smile on my face :) And I don't see any problem with a girl buying a guy flowers. Flowers symbolize a lot, not even depending what type of flower it is. I would buy a guy flowers and not care if he thought it was weird. Haha. So cute!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aeneas Barton

4 Years Ago

glad you enjoyed it
Aeneas Barton

4 Years Ago

P.S. I hope one day you do buy flowers for a man, and that he enjoys them!
DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf

4 Years Ago

Thanks! And yeah, I'll be sure to buy a guy flowers one day :) Most definitely!
This is such a sweet and simple moment!!! I love the dialogue--it just flows. If you wanted to expand it I think you could easily add more of their gestures (how it felt when their fingers touched, their postures, facial expressions) to convey the distance or closeness of their relationship. I like that there isn't any preliminary info but I think you could add dimension to the story by revealing or hinting at where the relationship was before this new turn. Overall amazing though!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JenJen

4 Years Ago

I definitely wouldn't call this flat--as a reader I can both identify with and read into the charact.. read more
Aeneas Barton

4 Years Ago

hhhm.... something to consider. I ended it with her deciding she would buy him flowers, not so much .. read more
Corey Slaughter

2 Years Ago

Beautiful and simple. I enjoyed reading this piece.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

216 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 19, 2013
Last Updated on February 19, 2013
Tags: bed, stars, hands, flowers, platonic

Author

Aeneas Barton
Aeneas Barton

About
I am who I am. You know the best way to go about meeting a stranger is through conversation. I get inspired to write by various different things. Sometimes it's music, other times, it's by listening t.. more..

Writing