Messenger of Music, of Love

its where i go when i play guitar and where i wish to send them one day and its a vision of mine

The man walks on stage.

The lights burn his bloodshot eyes;

Long blond hair

Half down his naked back

 

His pants tattered and worn.

Holes exposing his naked legs.

 

Calloused, Bare feet from his long walk

to and from the promised land.

where he learned his magic,

They are about to see.

 

Guitar in his hand,

he stares to the crowd.

There is a million blank faces,

screaming and cheering for a show.

 

He speaks in his low, soft voice.

 

"This show is more than a show.

It will be a spiritual experience,

where you will all see the truth of music

and the love of yourself toward others"

 

That's when he started strumming away,

picking and plucking in his magical way.

their eyes lift him up as he left the world;

ascending him to the next plane.

 

he left a body filled with music and love,

from this place of majesty he sent down;

the instructions to this beautiful melody.

 

His music lifts them,

from this earthly plane

to a world where

time, sin, and every evil desire

no longer exist

 

he leaves love,

to fill evils place.

Their souls are lifted

and merged together,

in an estate of pleasure

 

They feel each others essence

and all blind hatred is replaced

with the eternal form love.

 

their ears bleed with tears of joy,

for this man's majestic music.

 

When the man stopped,

their hearts cried out for more;

for they felt as though no time has passed.

even though time has flown by.

 

In the pleasure of it all,

they must leave the show;

yet with higher state of mind.

 

Smiles on their faces,

they were filled with a new essence

 

One of love.

As they have all been enlightened

with a new perspective of the world.

 

for themselves,

by the holy gift of music.

Author's Note

opinions pls its a vision of mine of the future

Reviews

[C. Rose]

I really enjoyed this piece. I think you captured such a beautiful vision of how tremendous of an impact an artist can have on those that experience their work. I wanted to go to this show! Great job.

[Katie]

This is a beautiful story, and a beautiful future. You are so talented, anything you pursue will be great.

[Anna Kay]

freaking GREAT!! u worte very well.
And you made to where anybody can come from anywhere and still be great at what they love,this is so great,you have a great mind that is creative and full of great ideas just by reading this poem anybody can tell you that you are great at this! Keep on!:)
-Anna Kay Patton

[Stephen Scaggs]

Much better! 9.8/10.

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

I want to proofread this for you so I'm sending you a proofread copy once I finish it. Anyways, moving past the grammatical mistakes, this is a very well written poem that does deserve some honor. It's always nice to dream of the future, but remember to never become so self-absorbed in a pursuit of your dreams that everyone around you becomes inferior. To rise to your dreams, you must first humble yourself.

Good message and overall them. The flow does need work, like the other writes depict, but I think all you need to do is put this poem into stanzas. I'll divide it for you in the proofread. Very well descriptive language and depth perception is good. You were moved by this when writing and it is very keen to notice that as you express your wondrous ideals for the future you so captivate in well written lines, that you also give the reader a sense of hope in themselves.

Very well written. Keep pushing forward! :P 9.3/10.

Appreciate you,
S. W. Scaggs

[The Perfectionist]

I have to agree with S. Kimball on this one. Your emotion is good, but your flow is in tatters and your poetic rhythm...well, there isn't any. And 'orgy' does look very out of place. You have a few spelling mistakes as well, but nothing that you should worry too much about. If you paste this into Word, it should catch those for you.

There are definitely worse places to aspire to being.

[DBURKE]

WOW I can see this clear like a picture! This is absoluetely beautiful its like I can see the vision you had and I love it!

[c.m.]

You can picture this. Beautiful :)

[S. Kimball]

Not bad at all.

The piece tells a good story, using good vocabulary to convey the message.

The story in and of itself was beautiful. Good emotional attachment.

I could see the whole thing clearly in my mind. Your imagery was very, very well-done.

However, the prose with which you wrote was indistinguishable and the flow suffered. To be honest, this either seems like you didn't write with flow in mind or you just chopped a short story up.

Also, I disagree with your usage of "orgy" in the poem. I'm certainly not a prude - I say "f**k" in actual speech more than I care to admit - but it seems so out of place in this otherwise very serious and even "spiritual" poem. I very much recommend choosing another word.

Overall, very good.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

This is a beautiful vision, I love it, i can picture this... your words are beautiful