Lie

 

    I smiled-

simply a shield.

Armor that I hoped the sharpened blade of your insight

could not pierce.

Perhaps I laughed and made some reassurance,

Certain you'd drop the subject and we'd move on.

I don't remember.

But when your eyes met mine, I knew you could see me-

not the me that I desperately hoped you would see,

would not question-

but me behind the false confidence.

You saw my heart, full of sin.

You saw my guilty, restless spirit,

saw it churning like a storm stirred ocean,

into which you dove and swam to the furthest depth,

acquainting yourself with every black leviathan that lurked therein.

You cornered my shame,

trapped it like the hunted rabbit,

cowering in the brush with the hound's breath upon its neck.

You backed me against a wall,

blindfolded me,

lit for me my final cigarette and left me to the mercy of a line of gunmen.

They took aim, I gritted my teeth,

and held my breath-

“Alright,” you said, smiling a tiny smile.

You pretended not to know,

but we both knew

that

you

knew-

The guns were fired.

I laid still, bleeding out onto the ground.

Reviews

[Emily B]

I'm not sure I like the ending. Now if the you who had been executed laid bleeding on the ground while the you who had been pardoned straightened up and walked away . . .

I like happy endings, I'd like to think the knowledge and the tiny smile would be enough to reach a heart and save a soul.

Technically, every word is where it ought to be. And you elicited such a strong response. It is a successful poem.

[Cherryblossom]

This poem leaves me torn. While I appreciate the vague idea of what the relationship is between the two poeple, I feel like I don't know them. Clearly there is a certain amount of conflict going on-- the speaker suggesting that he/she cannot be honest with the other lover-- but I felt like some specifity could be used to ground the readers. I kept wondering what kind of shame, what kind of sins,and lastly what led to the gun shots. Were they real or a metaphorical shot of the relationship?

[Kyle]

I really liked this, Jamie. Although I must admit I'm not really sure how to comprehend the ending to this. It did bring out strong emotion, at least to me. I kind of feel like the person the character interacted with, knew the person being sent to death by firing squad was innocent of whatever chargers brought their untimely demise.