Red Tears

I wrote this when my guy cheated on me with a fat b***h...

Bleed tears of sorrow and pain
Cry rivers that reached as far as the eye can see
Feel as though my life had crashed around me
Scream like a banshie
Hate as though I created the feeling
Change into something I never wanted to be....

Reviews

[TLK]

I am interested in the second line. There is a tension between crying blood and seeing the rivers it produces. I'd like to see more of this kind of impossibility woven into the poem: it would definitely elevate it.

One correction: it tends to be spelt "banshee", although I don't know whether as a Gaelic term that's technically correct. (I'm pretty sure it's Gaelic?).

[Lucien Maier]

Its raw. I have seen your other stuff be more polished.

[Dream Mistress]

this one is my fav. and curse the fat b***h

[marie]

the power in this piece is strong, it screams of tortures from this world that we are all trapped in. great job i loved it:)

[Dream Mistress]

:)

[sithlordjp]

wow, we do feel the rage like a force of nature in each of your carefully chosen word. Very powerful, thanks for sharing!