I Stand in the Rain Alone

I walk in the rain, I walk through the town
I look past the people, I stare at the ground
The pavement beneath me shines wet and cold
I linger in these feelings, though they never get old
I walk through the streets, my mouth taped shut
It's best that it is, who'd want to hear words from a s**t?
I am according to the voices, in my head, or perhaps from the past
Either way, the words must be true, from the stares that are cast
The rain drenches me in my sadness and doubt, changing my skin
Stealing away the warmth in me, like snow, or ice, the color is akin
But it's kind of nice, because even through their stares and leers,
In the rain, at least I know that they can't see my tears,
It's a wonderful false reality, one only I know the truth behind
So I smile a bit, even in my woe, because it's there in the back of my mind,
Wading my feet through muddy streets isn't so bad, it's almost comforting
And even if it wasn't, there's so much water, maybe I'll drown or something
Yet somehow I doubt it, because it's been this way for several years,
It seems to pour down in accordance to the pace and amount of my tears,
But it's much colder, and this place is desolate, everyone went inside,
"Who cares about that stupid girl?", "She's still out there? I thought she died."
Wandering around these blank gray buildings, hoping for a sky with the sun,
They all seemed to dissipate along with the boy who I knew was my only one,
I've become a ghost, so it doesn't matter, trudging along lazily in this numb shell
I can't even die, and if I ended it now anyway, wouldn't I just go to hell?
Or am I dead already, and stuck in this prison? I can't feel my heart beating
I have all these wounds on my body, the rain won't allow coagulation to the bleeding
I can't seem to die, and yet still this is no way to live, my purpose has been vanquished
So where does that leave this pathetic little ghost? Can this existence be relinquished?
I ask myself these questions ever since he left, and yet still I wonder to no avail
These feelings of sadness and utter despair are just too much, I can never prevail
But it's okay, I'll just press on, bleed and cry until this body dies,
And I'll do it all under these bleak and cloud-engulfed skies
At least none of them know my secret, maybe I don't look so pathetic
I wouldn't want them to pretend to pity me, because I see they're apathetic
So I guess it's okay, because from inside, I know they can't see the pain,
Yes, they can't see my tears, none of them know that I cry in the rain

Author's Note

General thoughts.

Reviews

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

I'll be as nice as possible with this, it's good and has potential but the way you've structured it makes it a task to read it. It's just because it's all bulked togeather.