The Dormancy Diaries, Chapter 1: Heartless Beginnings

Chapter 1: Heartless Beginnings

Oblivious of the immediate dangers of the night, I laid drifting in and out of consciousness. I could faintly hear the rumblings of grimy water crashing against the river bed below, as rain began to trickle down my face. Slowly, every minute sound became increasingly raucous; I could hear every raindrop splash against the crisp blades of grass, and each gust of wind shuffle past my limp body. Sound was magnified by the prominent echoes of darkness, and fear lurked behind every shadow-concealed tree.
My progressive awareness quickly turned to fear as my body viciously jolted into consciousness. Swallowing a massive gulp of panic-filled air, I jerked myself to a sitting position, grasping my chest out of mere instinctual fear. Ignoring instinct, my first thought was not about my well-being or my surroundings, but rather my mental condition. “Why am I here? How did I get here?...and who am I ?” I thought to myself.
What silly questions these were for anyone to ask themselves, but I was genuinely frightened. I hadn’t the luxury of remembering who I was, much less where I was or how I got there. Comprehension was simply a fleeting thought, impossible to obtain.
In the distance I could hear the sound of cars speeding along the dampened highways, becoming scarcer. Quickly the reassuring sound of civilization became a rarity.
My reflection in the murky water below only intensified my feelings of fear and anxiety. It was the most foreign feeling imaginable; to look down and not recognize the person starring back at me. After several moments of silence-filled apprehension, I pulled myself up, and made an effort to stand.
My first attempts failed as I collapsed, hitting the unforgiving ground; sending minute specs of dirty rainwater splashing over me. Pulling myself up a second time, I managed to brace on a lofty tree nearby; though standing feebly, as if the swaying tree limbs were my puppet master. Hugging the tree mercilessly, I stared out into the remorseless night, riddled with unanswered questions.

Just then, the thunderous rumblings of an engine began to approach me from the foggy-darkness. I reached out toward the road as much as was possible, and signaled for the vehicle to stop, while trying not to look too frightened. As it slowed and began approaching me directly, I could only hope the occupants were sane and moral.
“You need a ride?” The driver sturdily yelled, while leaning over his seat, to reach the passenger window. “Yes. I think I hit my head,” I anxiously replied. Fumbling towards the old truck, I tried my best to appear capable and adequate, though each step I took felt unfamiliar and unstable. Almost falling every time my knees locked, I walked slow and steady, keeping nearly perfect posture, and making eye contact as boldly as was possible without appearing eerie. 
As I attempted to pry the car door open, several attempts failed.       “Oh! Sorry, you gotta open it from the inside!” The driver excitingly chuckled, as he leaned over the passenger seat to open the door. The first thing I saw inside the vehicle was a baby, snugly strapped in the backseat.  Her car-seat was laying amongst various power tools and empty paint buckets, and she was sound asleep. “What man would pick up random hitchhikers with his baby in toe” I thought to myself, although it seemed to comfort my fears, on some level. 

The awkwardly long ride to the hospital proved very wearisome for me. The scarce roads were all unfamiliar and the street names seemed foreign. Night covered everything with a thick blanket of darkness, only periodically lit by flickering streetlamps, unmaintained, dim and scarcely placed.
“So…what’s your name, stranger?” The driver uttered, slightly taken back by my detached mannerisms. As I contemplated the answer that would sound the least peculiar, we approached the parking lot of the hospital and the need for an answer quickly fell away.
“Here we are! Do you need me to help you in?”
“No, thank you. Thanks for the ride though” I exclaimed as I spilled from the abnormally tall vehicle. Surely my peculiar behavior stroke odd in the mind of the worried stranger, but my concerns were much greater.
After aimlessly wandering the lobby of the hospital, I was assigned a room, where a twenty minute wait, seemed to last forever.

Author's Note

Please be honest. I need your opinions! :)

Note: Occasionally you may see a "___". It simply means that I couldn't quite find the right words for that sentence, and plan to in the future. This is just a rough draft, so if you have any ideas for those blanks, please (PLEASE!) let me know! :) Thanks!

Reviews

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Your descriptions painted a very clear picture in my mind. I especially liked the first paragraph.

This first chapter is completely mysterious and intriguing; it kept me on the edge of my seat. I am itching to know who the main character is, and why he/she was unconscious by a river.

I noticed quite a few grammatical errors, but, this being a rough draft, I don't really care. And another thing, in place of 'giggled,' I would use 'chuckled' instead. Men don't really giggle, haha.

Anyways, in summary, you did a wonderful job on this. I'll be reading more. :)

[Kaybrie93]

Thanks! That puts a smile on my face, and I changed the "giggled" to "Chuckle" lol, good advice :) Keep the ideas coming, I'd love to hear them!

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:) Glad to be of some help.