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A Poem by Brittany W
"

mm, i dont know.

"

Melancholy smiles
that go for miles
hidden by tears
that have lasted for years

 Malignant lies
hidden by benign eyes
happy smiles
are nothing but the Salem Witch Trials

 Her personas fake
her body aches
and she wonders why
she even did this in the first place

© 2010 Brittany W


Author's Note

Brittany W
Im trying to experiment with poems that can rhyme because i really dont have any that do, this was written late at night when i couldnt sleep, and im not sure if i really know what i meant, anyways i hope you like.

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Reviews

nice flow. great title...love these lines...

Malignant lies
hidden by benign eyes

nicely done..

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very smooth flow... I am not the biggest fan of rhyming poetry but I do like this... makes quite a statement bout how so many go with what is popular and lose themselves in the process.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think you did a good job with rhyming.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think this is quite good- just remember to keep the flow throughout it, even if it does rhyme. Rhyme schemes will help pull words together, but won't keep them together completely. I felt that the flow was a bit disrupted in a few spots.
Other than that- great job. I really love the subtlety of the rhyme scheme... it never dominates your words.

Great piece- wonderful phrasing. Nice write.

-Coral-

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really like this! I like the lines "Malignat lies hidden by benign eyes" very good!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is simply brilliant! What you meant doesn't seem to matter. Good one

Posted 13 Years Ago


Yes you do run into meloncholy smiles like in the mall or on the street now more and more. this poem is touching some of what we are seeing out there, then you put it into a poem and illustrate what is coming through your "poet voice" .
This poem touches the ways we hide from others and by doing so we hide from ourselves. The idea of happy smiles are nothing but the salem witch trials" good thanks, Raining

I have trouble also with rhyme. I tende to avoid it, though maybe i should also try it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very interesting, indeed.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think you've pulled off the rhyming rather well. The poem has an ambiguous feel to it, so I can pull out several different conclusions; this isn't necessarily a bad thing though, I quite like the fact that it is vague. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is impressive!
"Malignant lies
hidden by benign eyes"
I LOVED that. Great work.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on September 3, 2010
Last Updated on September 3, 2010

Author

Brittany W
Brittany W

MI



About
Add me on Tumblr, even if we dont talk :) http://bbrittanylynn.tumblr.com/ Hey, my names Brittany and im pretty easy going, i love reading which is probably the main reason i love to write. Anyw.. more..

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