The Magickal & the Cowan

The Magickal & the Cowan

A Screenplay by Celeste Lucy Zaveri

A woman named Caitlin goes through magickal, Wiccan, and romantic situations.


Caitlin walks upstairs at Julia’s house.
Caitlin walks in on Julia, a friendly Jew’s because Julia invited her to her house. She shares it with her brother. They don’t live with parents, for they were sent off to live together.
Caitlin gasps at what she sees, and knows to only whisper and think, not talk or enter the room. She hides in the bathroom, looking over at what’s happening in Julia’s room.
STEVEN: Enough, you stupid Julia! You are SO stupid!
CAITLIN: I can’t believe Steven is hurting his older sister, especially seeing the physical difference. Julia’s so dainty, and thin, fragile, and short. And Steven’s so strong, muscular, and tall. I’ve got to get help, but where’s a phone? I left my bag…O, Goddess Isis, help!
ISIS: You may not see me, but feel my message.
Steven drags Julia and throws her down the stairs. He hits and throws everything, and throws all Julia’s heirlooms and tiny things down her vent. Then he locks the door of Julia’s room, keeping the key hidden in his room.
Caitlin runs out the door.
HIGH PRIESTESS DAPHNE MOONCHILD: Merry meet, Caitlin. How are you and are you alright? You seem frightened. Did you see a spirit that failed to reach the Spirit World?
CAITLIN: No, I didn’t see a spirit, High Priestess. I need you to do a protection spell.
HPS DAPHNE: A protection spell for who, Caitlin? Who needs protection?
CAITLIN: I’m so glad I’m part of the Coven! We need a ritual…for Julia. Steven, her brother’s harming her.
HPS DAPHNE: Who’s Julia?
CAITLIN: She is a Jew. Julia Tyson. Steven Tyson’s her younger brother, four years younger than her. Her only brother. He’s abusing her.
HPS DAPHNE: Never mind the other Members of the Coven. We’re going to do a Ritual. My house. Now.
They go to the HPS Daphne’s house.
HPS DAPHNE: You know what to do, right? I’m just here to assist, but you’re the one with the strongest connection to Goddess. The element of earth, I call you. The element of air I call you. The element of water I call you. An element of fire I call you. The element of spirit I call you. Goddess and God, I call you!
Caitlin gets a candle representing the god and representing the Goddess. She puts her pearl earrings to the black offering bowl. She bows at the Goddess statue.
CAITLIN: Great Goddess of day and night, protect Julia Tyson with all your might.
Caitlin puts her watch in the white offering bowl and bows to the statue of the god.
CAITLIN: Great god of night and day, protect Julia Tyson with all your might. This is thy will so mote it be, this is my will so mote it be! Blessed be Julia, she who is pained and shan’t be again!
HPS Daphne: Elements, I thank thee and bid thee farewell. Goddess and God, I thank thee and bid thee farewell!
CAITLIN: I should take my mind off this encounter, totally. I need Noah.
She walks out and walks a bit. She bumps accidentally into Carly Wilkins.
CARLY: So we meet again, you meddling, lowborn fool. Finally caving in to fate, finally worshiping Loa Rada? I am so happy you left stupid old Isis.
CAITLIN: What balderdash are you talking about? I’m going to see Noah.
CARLY: Noah Fingermann? I wouldn’t be around him if I were you.
CAITLIN: Yeah. Which you aren’t.
She walks off, getting to Noah’s house and ringing the doorbell. She’s glad to be gone from that mean voodoo, Carly. Carly’s a Jamaican with short, curly hair. She’s really rude and jealous of Caitlin.
NOAH: I’m been working on my Wiccan-Pagan jokes. So, this guy says, he’s a pastor, ‘Pagans and Wiccans are different!’ But really, Wiccans and Pagans are different, show the Wiccan says, ‘Wow, Jesus and Christ are different.’ Get the joke? Because Pagans and Wiccans aren’t different.
CAITLIN: Actually, they are. You’re mistaken, Noah.
She smiles.
Noah smiles shyly and blushes.
CAITLIN: I’ve got this crush.
NOAH: On who?
CAITLIN: Your voice sounds hopeful. I didn’t know you wanted me to fall in love with Ace.
NOAH: Ace? Who’s that?
CAITLIN: My crush. He moved away when we was fourteen and I was fifteen. I’m one year older than him, and one year’s worth smarter. But he’s still so astute. He’s just moved back. He’s as charming as before, and I really like him. I’m thinking of marrying him if I can charm him into dating me, and oh my, even propose to me!
NOAH: Oh. Um, did you know Hillary Clinton’s got a crush on Bernie Sanders?
CAITLIN: Yeah, so? Anyway. Isn’t Ace so handsome? Wait, you haven’t seen him. I’d better invite him now!
NOAH: No, no, there’s no…
CAITLIN: Oh, s**t, why not?
NOAH: Um, never mind. Hey, what kind of furniture does a goddess worshiping Witch Wiccan prefer?
CAITLIN: Not all Witches are Wiccan. And not all Wiccans are Witches. In fact, there are some Wiccans who don’t use magick, so they aren’t a Witch. Just, lots of Wiccans are Witches. But not all. And not all of them feel a connection to Goddess. Like, Carly.
NOAH: The answer’s a wicker.    
CAITLIN: That’s so unfair, damn it. I’m definitely inviting Ace.
Caitlin grabs a phone.
CAITLIN: Ace. 5 Tully Moon Court…
Hangs up.
CAITLIN: He’ll be here in five minutes to meet us. Ace is a Pagan, and he’s such a gentleman!
NOAH: Isn’t Paganism, like, matriarchal?
CAITLIN: And equality-based. And we have gods, not just goddesses, to be fair. So we’re matriarchal in a sense, having priestesses as leaders and priests…
NOAH: Hey, you’re looking good.
Noah reaches out, but stops himself, and turns.
CAITLIN: It’s just a plain black sundress. And my earrings, the only jewelry on me, I gave to Isis.
NOAH: You gave it to terrorists?
CAITLIN: No, not terrorists. The Goddess Isis. You know, from Egypt? Hey, guess what? Ace’s got a cat named Isis! Ace is so handsome.
The doorbell rings. Caitlin opens the door to a man with black hair and deep eyes.
CAITLIN: Oh my, Ace!
ACE: Caitlin!
They hug.
NOAH: Hi, um, Ace. Do you play video games?
ACE: BB. And no, sir, I do not play video games. You do, however.
NOAH: Favorite singer?
CAITLIN: So you wanna play with magic? Literally.
ACE: Except, we don’t play with magick. With only use it for good.
CAITLIN: Some, but rare, Witches use it for bad.
ACE: Especially voodoos like Carly.
Ace kisses Caitlin.
Noah punches Ace.
CAITLIN: Noah, stop it! Leave Ace alone! Why’d you do that?
NOAH: You shut up!
Noah grabs Caitlin, forces her upstairs, throws her own the bed, shuts and locks door.
NOAH: You’re going to be in bed with me, and you’re going to cuddle me.
Noah puts his strong arm around Caitlin, squeezing her into him and kissing her repeatedly. He puts Caitlin’s arm under his other arm, trapping her with him.
NOAH: You’re staying with me, me, me! Not some dumb Ace.
CAITLIN: But I love him!
Caitlin starts crying.
CAITLIN: But I love him!
NOAH: You’re my bae, and you’re not Ace’s.
CAITLIN: I’m not your bae!
NOAH: Yes you are, and you’re not leaving me. You’re trapped in my house forever!
CAITLIN: My arm hurts. No, let me go. I’ve got to tell you, Steven Tyson’s abusing his older sister, Julia Tyson. Julia’s my friend. You’ve got to help save her. If you do, I’ll lie in bed with you forever.
NOAH: OK. Lead the way.
He opens the door, and Caitlin’s about to go out first but Noah shoves himself into being first. He walks down the stairs and leaves the house with Caitlin.
NOAH: Ace, you stay put.
CAITLIN: No, please come along. I may need you.
NOAH: No, you won’t.
CAITLIN: Not for love. Remember the deal?
Caitlin’s spell is working. Julia’s getting protection from the group.
ISIS: You’re doing the right thing, Caitlin. You don’t see me, but I’m always there. Good job.
They walk briskly to Steven’s house (he’s the master and leader of their patriarchal house), and finally they get there.
CAITLIN: Blessed be all of us, Isis, blessed be us all.
NOAH: Where do we go, Cat?
CAITLIN: Don’t call me that, Noah.
ACE: Please focus, everybody.
NOAH: Don’t be so formal.
CAITLIN: Enough of the balderdash! Anyway, Julia and Steven are upstairs. He’s probably doing another round of…
CAITLIN: Basically, Steven is Julia’s younger brother. Steven’s the tall, muscled one, and Julia’s the small, delicate-looking one. Julia’s got waist-long blonde hair and pale skin. Steven’s got the medium skin. They’re upstairs.
ACE: Julia needs physical protection if she is as dainty as you describe her. I could be her boyfriend, possibly…
Caitlin glared, trying to hide her deep angry blush.
ACE: Then I could be her companion and protector.
CAITLIN: We’re here to save Julia, not hook up with people.
ACE: I will not hook up with her. I am thinking of proposing to know her better after we save her, possibly in a few days. Then we would date, and in five months, we could marry.
CAITLIN: But then you’d have to move in where she lives, so you’d be trapped with Steven.
ACE: Steven will be in prison by then for being such an abuser. Then we would move somewhere else, to a different state or even country, where Steven would not find us…
CAITLIN: Instead of plotting, just go upstairs with us.
Noah rushes upstairs, Caitlin quickly behind. Ace finally follows.
Steven’s about to throw the TV at Julia.
ACE: No!
He rushes, gets in the way, and faints.
NOAH: Go! It’s for your protection. I’m sorry for beating you and forcing you in bed…I won’t again…Now go. Believe me.
CHRISTIN: Doing a Trump, huh?
NOAH: No, really believe me. For your safety. Go.
Christin leaves and rushes out the door.
HPS DAPHNE: Are you alright?
CHRISTIN: I need tarot.
CHRISTIN: Now. And, no, in my house. And invoking Isis. Pronto.
They rush to Christin’s house. High Priestess Daphne takes out a tarot get, spreading the cards.  
HPS DAPHNE: What is your question?
CHRISTIN: Will Ace marry me?
HPS DAPHNE: Pick two cards, one for cause, the other for remedy.
CHRISTIN: Alright.
She picks two, turns them over.
HPS DAPHNE: You chose the Wheel of Fortune for a cause card. The Wheel of Fortune coming up in this position means that you're entering a new phase of your life. As you move into a new cycle, certain people, relationships, tasks and other situations may come to an end so others may take shape. But part of you isn't willing to let go of the old. Trying to hold onto whatever doesn't serve you anymore only makes your life feel stuck. Only by honoring your life's ongoing cycles can you get the most out of your life.
CHRISTIN: And the other? The Pope…
HPS DAPHNE: For a remedy, the Pope. The magical world is calling you in a big way if you've drawn the Hierophant in this position. In order to take it up a notch, dress in neutral tones and burn a plain white candle on your altar for five nights in a row. Each night, spend some time journaling about what you're grateful for, and what you want to do with your talents. On the fifth night, close the ritual by repeating, ‘I Accept My Spiritual Power’ three times.
CHRISTIN: I can totally do that. In one night. Please leave.
She goes to her room, locks the door. She puts on a plain white sundress, which will be the only thing she’ll be wearing, other than a pentacle necklace.
She puts a simple candle on her altar. She gets her book of shadows, ready to write a list of gratitude.
CHRISTINA: I accept my spiritual power. I accept my spiritual power. I accept my spiritual power. And now for writing. ‘I am grateful for Ace’s safety, and presence here. I love him, and I wish to marry him deeply. Yet, he does not wish for it. Shall I always be single? Yet I am grateful for him.’
She walks out. Daphne’s still there.
HPS DAPHNE: Oh, hello.
CHRISTINA: Why are you talking to a mirror?
HPS DAPHNE: You have a friendly household spirit, living in your mirror. How did it go? Do you have any questions? Do you need assistance?
Christina explains everything.
HPS DAPHNE: You remind me of a mood ring. Want to ask my crystal ball a question?
CHRISTINA: Will Ace marry me?
HPS DAPHNE: Not a question for Julia’s safety? The crystal ball says this is unlikely. Unless you do something drastic, it will not happen. It simply is not your future. You were a medieval scientist in a past life, I sense. Christina, darling...
CHRISTINA: Thank you for everything, but you can call me Christin. Thanks so much, for everything, High Priestess. You were truly a hero...
HPS DAPHNE: And you are deeply connected with the Goddess. And do not let Carly and her voodoo get to you. And remember, choose your family. Be grateful for anything you possibly can. Choose the cultures and origins you're from, based on your soul...
CHRISTIN: I'll do all of it, High Priestess. Thank you. That's why I chose not to be Caribbean, despite my slight roots. That's why I legally changed my name from what my mother gave me. She named me Indie. She said it's after the West Indies, but whatever s**t she says, it's an English name meaning 'India,' and it's final.
HPS DAPHNE: I agree with you, Christin. I would never call you Indie, and it IS an English name. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I am sorry of your childhood, your past, but let it go. You're emancipated. You're free now.
CHRISTIN: Please leave. I am going to take a nap because I'm tired of everything happening right now. Blessed blessings and merry part.
She slaps a housefly, and waves to the spirit in the mirror.
HPS DAPHNE: Do not harm bugs, please. Blessed be. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
Christin falls asleep.
ISIS: We must speak, I am finally with you. I am glad you are resting. Tomorrow, Julia's going through a whole day of NO abuse, but I cannot promise forever. You can hang out with Ace and Noah, but keep it in a way that's casual, forgetting today's events. Keep it platonic. No romance...yet. And blessed be, my child. You are always loved, welcome...and you will never, ever be wounded.


Caitlin stares at her mirror.
Spirit: Merry meet, why are you staring, dear Christina?
Caitlin: You can simply call me Christin or Caitlin. I don’t really need formalness, not even in my Pagan name.
Spirit: You’re a very wise Wiccan, deeply connected to Isis, I hear. So, why are you staring, again?
Caitlin: Sorry, I didn’t mean to speak with you. Please turn invisible so I can see what I look like because I’m going on a date.
Spirit: Performing the Great Rite?
Caitlin: No, not yet. I went through some traumas lately about being in bed with people. I mean Noah. He forced me, but he vowed to stop. So, I’m going on a date and I want to look good.
Spirit: Who’s the lucky guy? I sense your soul’s a good one.
Caitlin: Wilton Ott. He’s my official boyfriend, but my unofficial ones are Noah Fingermann and Ace Giampa. So, I’ll be having a date with Wiltin, trying to light more flames in the relationship. We’ve lost touch with the Tyson problem - Steven Tyson was beating up his sister, Julia Tyson - and with Noah’s forcing me in bed, and, hey I look good.
Spirit: Yeah.
Caitlin: Appear again. Tell me everything you think of my look.
Spirit: I’m Eala. And your look. I like the long, straight, black hair.
Caitlin: It’s a wig. I’m so glad to be Wiltin’s bae. And Noah? Ace? I’m just not sure. The crystal ball that belongs to High Priestess said no. I’m going to get Wilton to turn up. To propose.
Eala: I love your long-sleeved place slimming tube maxi dress. And the belt’s perfect to go with it!
Caitlin: I’m on a grind with jewelry, so do you like the pentacle necklace, Eala? Don’t forget to make comments on the triquetra earrings. I made a big new statement with the triquetras, so I want some feedback.
Eala: Maybe not with the wig. Yet you must go on your date! Good luck, get him to turn up, and, so, merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
Caitlin: Merry part. Hopefully marry part in my case, if this date goes well.
Caitlin walks out the door, gets into her Pontiac Vibe, and while driving, she sees a familiar red Mercedes. She rolls down her window.
CAITLIN: Hey, what do you want now, Carly?
CARLY: Getting into voodoo? Finally embracing your Carib heritage?
CAITLIN: I have nothing against Carib people, but Isis said that isn’t my calling! So, no, I choose my cultures, and I’m not Carib. Even if I were, which I’m not, I won’t be doing any voodoo magick. Thanks.
CARLY: I’m making a Facebook poll. I’ll tag you. “Who should Caitlin date…Wilton, Noah, or Ace?”
CAITLIN: Don’t! That’d be too embarrassing, Carly! I’d scratch you if you did…
CARLY: Remember “an’ ye harm none do what ye will?” Do your Wicca s**t and don’t harm me. Let me do this one thing.
CAITLIN: You’re into the Rede?
CARLY: No, but you are. So obey it.
CAITLIN: The Rede would say you don’t harm me. That’s cyber bullying and you know it, Carly. And you’d better stop it.
CARLY: How can you make me? And I’m going to make a post, a page, and a group exposing your secret about you being a Carib who won’t confess it!
CAITLIN: I’m not a Carib. Remember? I’m not racist, some of them are good people, but being Carib just isn’t me. And my skin’s white, so it wouldn’t have shown. You can’t prove my heritage - the heritage I would have, but don’t have.
CARLY: Valentina just voted ‘Noah.’ So did five others. You see, Noah’s the people’s favorite for you.
CAITLIN: But what about my heart? The votes don’t count, it’s not like delegates are in it.
CARLY: I could even get Oprah or Katy to vote.
CAITLIN: Katy Perry? Oprah Winfrey? Celebrities wouldn’t be voting for my future, as it isn’t theirs.
CARLY: I could pay them to vote.
CAITLIN: You aren’t rich. You just act like those rich grumps from TVs.
CARLY: I truly am, you just don’t know it. At least, I will be.
CAITLIN: How will you be?
CAITLIN THINKS: I can be late for this date. There’s something else I’m not seeing.
CARLY: Hey, don’t come into my house, OK? I’m leaving the door unlocked so spirits can get in, but I won’t be inviting you to anything. Not that anything’s happening.
CAITLIN: Okay, I’m not up to anything.
CAITLIN THINKS: This is my perfect plan.
Carly drives to her house and enters. After five minutes, Caitlin enters silently, hoping Carly thinks she’s a spirit and not a person. She peeks in the living room, waiting in the hallway so she can see, but isn’t seen.
Carly sews a dollar bill onto red cloth and hangs it on the wall. She sprinkles a fat row of salt on the table, making a square. She puts black candles on each corner. She lights them. She puts a cup of orange-looking oil in the center. She dips the end of her incense stick into the orange oil. She lights it in a holder, outside of the square.
CARLY: Pinned to my life evermore, Go with me to every shore, I trade you for another thing, Come back to my pockets bring!
ISIS: She’s doing a voodoo spell for money. And she’ll fight, cheat, for it. All to harm you.
Caitlin leaves, and quickly drives off to her date.
When she gets to the forest where she and Wilton will be dating, she quickly apologizes.
CAITLIN: Merry meet. I’m sorry I was late, something happened. It was Carly…using voodoo. Um, long story. And Isis spoke to me. Rather, communicated.
WILTON: That’s alright, Christina. I’m glad you’re here.
CAITLIN: Caitlin. Please. Until my Wicca’s all figured out, my spiritual path’s clear, I don’t want to be called Christina or Christin again.
WILTON: Why are we in a forest? Again, the date’s your idea, bae.
CAITLIN: You’re as bad as they come. You’re so dime. So good-looking tonight.
WILTON: I didn’t know. I thought I’d messed up. I mean, tuxedos are the antique thing, they say. They say it isn’t too gucci.
CAITLIN: Wilton, stop worrying. You’re cute. Quite darling, as they say.
WILTON: Any dreams?
CAITLIN: Isis came.
WILTON: Isis? Isis…
CAITLIN: Yeah, goddess communication. She said to be ‘platonic’ today. I’m risking it. Anyway, now what? I’ve been careful not to wear socks, it isn’t for dates…
WILTON: Firefox’s got this new rule. Never let a dress code get in the way of fun socks.
CAITLIN: Don’t worry, I won’t. Next time. What do you want to do?
WILTON: Picnic.
CAITLIN: What you’ve got?
WILTON: Apples, banana, pizza, cat cookies, eggs, milk and water supply, rum cake, a little wine…
CAITLIN: I’ll do some moderate wine. And I see you have cheese. To feed the mouse, right? You know your pet mouse. I’m thinking of getting a cat, I’ll name it Wicca.
WILTON: I love you. May I?
CAITLIN: Sure. Wait. You can’t be saying…
Wilton gets out his surgical knife, cuts Caitlin’s arm, and drinks the blood.
She moans.
WILTON: I love you so much.
Wilton drops his knife and licks the blood.
CAITLIN: Oh, you’re so what I’ve been hoping for. What I’m needing.
Just then, a figure appears.
CARLY: I paid Satan to see if I could get Wilton. Guess it didn’t work, Christina.
CAITLIN: You want Wilton? But he’s mine. You don’t even like dating because you’re “too good for anybody.”
CARLY: I don’t like dating lowborn folks like folks you’d befriend. I didn’t say I didn’t want Steven Tyson, Noah Fingermann, Wilton Ott, Ace Giampa, or all of them. Steven, I guess I don’t want. He’s marrying Julia.
CAITLIN: He’s marrying his…
WILTON: …Sister?
Carly begins singing a hypnotic song, wanting to win over Wilton.
CARLY: Eris said you were gonna give yourself to me, and now you’re here, but you better think cautiously, because I am magickally able of anything and everything.
CARLY: Make me your moon goddess, and you can be the sun god. But don’t make me your fiend. So you wanna marry a witch? Mortal you should know what you’re wishing for. Mortal are you gonna do this? Cause I’m gonna haunt you like a dark force.
CAITLIN: I’ve had enough of you, you’re always making people fail to come through.
CARLY: Are you prepared for, prepared for? A faultless curse, flawless curse? Cause you’ll be jinxed, you’ll be jinxed. And so mote it be!
Carly runs off.
CAITLIN: Wilton?
WILTON: My Carly! Come back!
Caitlin begins crying, and runs back to her car, and drives off. She goes to High Priestess Daphne’s house.
HPS DAPHNE: Welcome, come inside. What is wrong?
CAITLIN: I need tarot. Now. And a revenge spell.
HPS DAPHNE: Sorry, I do not do revenge spells. Why would you want a revenge spell, please, Christina?
CAITLIN: You mean Caitlin. My Pagan path’s not figured out just yet. So I’m not ready for my Wiccan name. Yet. Basically, I was having a date with Wilton.
HPS DAPHNE: That is good. He is right for you.
CAITLIN: He drank my blood.
HPS DAPHNE: Finally. The Great Rite, I thought, would never come for you! Congratulations. Now, why do you seek revenge?
CAITLIN: Then Carly came and voodooed the crap out of Wilton. Now he’s, literally, under her spell. Chasing after her, trying to drink her blood.
HPS DAPHNE: He wasted the Great Rite, played with it wrongly, and betrayed you. The law of karma will not be happy, but it was not his fault. It was Carly’s.
CAITLIN: The weird accent girl sang up a storm and got a new bae. And she wants Steven Tyson, Ace Giampa, and Noah Fingermann. Ace and Noah are my only other choices! How can she steal them all? And Steven’s marrying Julia.
HPS DAPHNE: Marrying his sister?
CAITLIN: Yes, in fact. I’m so sorry for her. Hopefully, the spell works. I can’t believe she’s in so much pain. Can you believe it?
HPS DAPHNE: I do. Julia Tyson will be needing further help than merely magickal workings. She will need mundane protection as well.
CAITLIN: I know. And what about my traumas? It’s just…
HPS DAPHNE: If there is anything you want to let out, you can always speak with me and I will be there to listen, Caitlin. I do not even have to take action about it if you do not want. I will only listen. And if you want, I will break out my wand, and even commonplace uses. But I am always there.
CAITLIN: I know, High Priestess. And thank you. Blessed be. Yet, it’s just that, I’m sometimes worrying. Thinking about my past, and…
HPS DAPHNE: Well, what was the biggest problem you had in your past?
CAITLIN: When I was nine years old, I used to be called Dainty Foot for not having the biggest foot in class.
HPS DAPHNE: I am sorry, that must have really hurt. Do you need guidance, help, or simply a listener?
CAITLIN: I just want to let it out to the first person ever, but no, I’m not looking for help. I simply got used to it.
HPS DAPHNE: Why did you not use Wicca, Caitlin? You can always consult Isis if you need help. And, what is the second problem you had?
CAITLIN: I was emotionally abused by my father.
HPS DAPHNE: And did anything else happen possibly?
CAITLIN: Yes, and he didn’t want me to ever get married. I wanted to.
HPS DAPHNE: And did anything else happen?
CAITLIN: My parents’ son they insisted was my brother, and they didn’t let me choose my cultures and origins. They kept saying the Caribbean was my home and I was a Carib and I should just take pride and get used to it. BUT I WASN’T A DAMN SISTER AND  WASN’T FROM THE SHITTING CARIBBEAN! I WAS BORN IN AMERICA! My dad, who wasn’t even biological, was from the Caribbean! My skin was pale, not black. I WASN’T A SISTER, AND I WASN’T IN DAMN, S****Y CARIBBEAN!
HPS DAPHNE: Please, try not to be racist.
CAITLIN: I’m not a racist, it’s just not who I want to be!
HPS DAPHNE: I see there is deep anger where you should have moved on from that past. I am sorry for you, Caitlin, yet the Caribbean people are people I value when they are kind. But you must choose your cultures.
CAITLIN: Then there’s that stupid name I got from birth. Indie. What the hell’s that supposed to mean? AND IT ISN’T FROM THE DAMN WEST INDIES! IT’S FROM ENGLAND! I’m sorry for acting racist. Truly, I’m not a racist. It’s just, there’s anger deep down in me.
HPS DAPHNE: You may need to meditate, or see your parents and your parents’ son, and talk it out. If you tell them how you feel, possibly you can let go of that past and live in the moment.
CAITLIN: I hate my damn parents, shut up stupid Dad I’m gonna get married, and I’M NOT A SISTER OR A CARIB!
HPS DAPHNE: Please, stop yelling.
CAITLIN: I’m sorry.
Caitlin takes a deep breath.
CAITLIN: I-I won’t say it again.
HPS DAPHNE: No, let it out, but calmly, Caitlin. It sounds like you’re angry.
CAITLIN: You’ve got listening skills? Didn’t notice.
HPS DAPHNE: There’s a saying my aunt’s said, “olvidar el pasado.” It may seem wrong, but it’s right. “Forget your past.” Or, forgive your past.
CAITLIN: Forgive my past? I could never. I’d forget my past first.
HPS DAPHNE: You can't olvidar el pasado, but you could possibly forgive your past. El pasado is like an el scorpion, clawing you fiercely.
CAITLIN: Thank you for everything, all your help, all your kindness…THANK YOU, High Priestess. Just…I’ve gotta go, and forget all about Wilton. What do you do when you kiss a boy? You get enough germs to get a fever. I’m not falling in love again.
HPS DAPHNE: You aren’t? Shouldn’t you try?
CAITLIN: No. I’ve had enough of the pain I had to face. I’m leaving.
Caitlin gets in her Vibe and drives off to Merry Meet Meals, and goes inside.
WAITER: Hello! Are you ready to order?
CAITLIN: Yeah. Apple, banana, chocolate, basil…
WAITER: We don’t have basil, sorry. And bananas, we just ran out of. We’ve only got apples left, and no chocolate.
CAITLIN: Rice pasta?
WAITER: We have that. So, apples and rice pasta?
CAITLIN: A bowl’s worth of the rice pasta, and three apples. And some basil, if you please?
WAITER: Hmm. Romantic rice pasta, apple bring love as warmth as sauna, they say. True?
CAITLIN: Yes. Some romantic problems call for rice pasta and apples. Three, the Wiccan number.
He leaves.
Just then, Caitlin looks over to see a tall figure.
CAITLIN: Caroline!
CAITLIN: It’s Caitlin. And don’t ask, Caroline. Take a seat. I’m getting three apples, so I can give you two and a half.
CAROLINE: No need, thanks. Just one should do.
CAITLIN: Any more déjà vu?
CAROLINE: You’d better believe it.
Just then, a tall dark figure walks by and sits on Caroline. Carly!
CAITLIN: Carly Wilkins, you’d better leave my friend alone!
Just then, a police officer walks by to see Caitlin scratching on Carly.
POLICE: What’s happening? I sat to eat and found a crime for dinner instead.
CARLY: She, Caitlin Gibbs, pushed me on her friend, Caroline Taylor after Caroline scratched her.
CAITLIN: Thanks for sharing our full names with police we don’t know and trust!
CARLY: You’re welcome. Oh, don’t you dare share my identity. So, Caroline Taylor was the first criminal. Then comes Caitlin Gibbs. I did nothing wrong.
POLICE: Is that true?
Carly pauses.
POLICE: I’m sorry, ma’am. You must pay one thousand dollars to pay for your crimes, Ms. Gibbs, and you, Ms. Taylor, shall be going to jail. No money in the world could pay your way out. You’re sentenced to ten years in prison.
Caitlin gasps.
Caroline starts crying.
POLICE: And you have to pay $1,000 for your crimes of violence, but no prison for you, Ms. Gibbs.
CAITLIN: How will I get that money? And I can’t buy the two-tone gold Celtic cross trinity knot diamond pendant necklace with the emerald! It costs too much, especially losing $1,000! I’ve already given up on it slightly a week ago…now the hope’s fully dashed. And the mansion I’m looking at. And the top bronze sculpture statue, the figurine, about the night goddess! It costs just after $1,000…the $1,000 I won’t have.
POLICE: Can’t help you there, darl. You’re in big trouble, I apologize, Ms. Gibbs dearie.
POLICE: Goddess, you are violent.
CAITLIN: Goddess, you are filthy!
POLICE: Make that $1,200!
CARLY: Good. I voodooed on this.
CAITLIN: You did s**t magick again?!
CARLY: I’m not doing s**t!
CARLY: I said, I’m not doing s**t!
POLICE: Ms. Caroline Taylor, you’re coming with me. You were charged guilty of theft five years ago, Ms. Caroline Taylor. Being provided your full name gives me information of your earlier theft. If charged a third time, in eleven years, you’ll be left in jail for the rest of your life.
CAITLIN: Not the rest! And it wasn’t even like that! Carly Wilkins, this girl’s full name, is an immigrant from Jamaica, but that has nothing to do with what she did. Here’s what she did. She, Carly Wilkins, came over while I and Caroline were having a good chat. Then she sat on Caroline, and I tried to scratch her off the poor woman’s lap, and then…
WAITER: Here is your food, Ma’am. Oh, you are dating a police officer? Good for your protection. And I see you have two friends joining. Shall I get more rice pasta bowls and apples for the young ladies, and your police?
CAITLIN: He’s not my boyfriend, and this one…(points to Carly)…is not my friend. She’s a criminal. The police's here to take us to jail, punishing us for what isn’t completely our fault.
WAITER: Oh, truly? Well, here’s your meal. I hope you’re able to enjoy, and whatever’s the truth, the police officer discovers, and justice is brought.
CNN REPORTERS: What’s happening? Tell us at once!
CAITLIN: It’s all a big misunderstanding. Carly Wilkins actually sat on my friend, and the police officer saw me trying to scratch Carly Wilkins off. He thought I was causing the violence. Then, suddenly, he accused my friend of causing the violence. Now she’s sentenced to ten years of meaningless jail.
CNN REPORTER #1: Got it all written down. How do you feel?
CAITLIN: Stunned, hurt, and angry. Especially with the police officer and Carly Wilkins, the true criminal.
CNN REPORTER #2: I agree with the police.
CNN REPORTER #3: I think this young woman’s the most honest of them all.
Caitlin walks off, drives into her Vibe, and speeds away desperately.  She blasts the radio. Dark Force and Wrath by Sheryll McKenzie, Roar by Katy Perry, Sugar, Style, Shut Up and Dance and Shake It Off have played by the time she gets home. She’s free to go…but how to get the dollars?
CAITLIN: I do need a little love, a little sympathy. Isis help!
ISIS: You’ll find your way. Carly won’t win with her evil, I promise. The good always finds a way. You just have to play creative.
CAITLIN: Play creative? Whatever do you mean, Isis? You’re not making sense. I don’t understand.
ISIS: You’ll understand soon. Don’t be afraid to get creative.
CAITLIN: Creative? What do you mean by creative? Creativity will just get me in jail. Craftiness…
ISIS: Craftiness will bring the Universe to serve you. So why not be “Crafty” and use your Craft?
CAITLIN: You mean Wicca?
ISIS: Exactly what I mean.
CAITLIN: Not even Pagan magick can help. I can never get out of this money rut. I’ll go to jail for not paying that police, and even when I get out of jail, I still can’t pay. So I get to jail, or worse, killed if they still do executions. I’ll never get the money, and this can’t be anything good.
ISIS: Get creative. See how you can…get the police to warm up to your attitude, to see your innocence. Sometimes just being yourself puts a mask on you, hiding all your past crimes.
CAITLIN: But I didn’t do any crimes.
ISIS: But you will prove innocence if you “mask” yourself. And being yourself, not hiding, is a “mask” enough.
CAITLIN: Alright, I’ll try getting creative. But just a little. I don’t want to risk stuff and get into trouble!
ISIS: Believe me.
CAITLIN: Playing a Trump?
ISIS: Never.
CAITLIN: Oh, shut up.
ISIS: And you’ll find yourself shutting up when your voice makes everybody bring justice to you and Caroline. And as for Carly? She will not get away with this. I promise.
CAITLIN: Merry part, Isis.
ISIS: How merry? You will soon find out.
CAITLIN: I've really got to get some money. I can blog! Sell! Etsy! Tweet 'NEED MONEY 2 GET OUT OF JAIL - HELP?" Or MARRY RICH! Noah's really rich. I'll keep him. I have to olvidar el pasado, and I'll get creative to do it!
Caitlin goes out and drives to where Noah always is…UJump, a pancake-selling restaurant.
CAITLIN: Hey, Noah. Knew I’d find you!
NOAH: What now, Cat?
CAITLIN: Well, I’m giving up on crafty Ace and I’m breaking up with Wilton soon. In fact, I’ve got a new boyfriend I’m staying with…you.
NOAH: Really? I’m too shy to touch you…can I?
NOAH: You're so good-feeling.
CAITLIN: Thank you, Noah Fingermann.
NOAH: Noah.

Noah and Caitlin kiss.

CAITLIN: I love you.


HPS DAPHNE: I spoke with the Police, Caitlin, and I showed them a video of Carly attacking. Now Carly isn’t going to jail for more than a week, but you’re out of your fee, Caitlin.

CAITLIN: Thank you, High Priestess! Um, Noah’s going to see me at my house, so I’ve gotta go. I’m finally breaking up with him.

HPS DAPHNE: Good luck, darling. And do not be surprised if your feelings are hurt, even shattered.

At Caitlin’s house…

Caitlin is practicing what she’ll say to break up with Noah.

CAITLIN: It isn’t about you, Noah, it’s about me. It’s just, I’m not ready for a big long-term relationship, let alone one with you. If anything, I’m looking at staying single for a little while until I choose. I’m sorry, Noah. You’ve got a chance, possibly, but just…not yet, okay? You may not understand what I’m saying, but…I’m breaking up with you.

Just then, Caitlin checks her phone and sees a text saying, Will u marry me?

NOAH: You’re breaking up with me? I was about to propose to you! I already sent the text!

CAITLIN: I was practicing…I didn’t know you were coming, even though I left the door unlocked, you quiet mouse!

NOAH: Why’d you break up with me?

CAITLIN: The fee’s all cleared up. I’m free.

NOAH: No, you aren’t. You belong to me!

CAITLIN: Noah, please, you don’t understand. It’s just…

NOAH: You’re cheating. It didn’t least a damn day and you’re cheating! S**t!

CAITLIN: Please, call down, Noah.

NOAH: Enough, Caitlin!

CAITLIN: Stop being threatening, Noah Fingermann. And you’re to call me Christina.

NOAH: How could you break up with me?

CAITLIN: It’s time for a new relationship to grow! It’s the waxing moon! Sixty-three earth radii is the distance, the ecliptic latitude’s four degrees, and the longitude is two hundred and thirty-two degrees. Things are waxing to the future.

NOAH: So I’m just the past?

CAITLIN: Yes. And if you leave me, just this once, then you’ll be the future, too.

NOAH: Enough, Caitlin!

Noah slams Caitlin down to the floor and punches her.


NOAH: Who says I will?

CAITLIN: Gods of power, gods of might, end the abuse, stop this plight!

Caitlin reaches for her tiny Ankh, grasps it, and imagines being at Eris’s Cultan School for Witches, her dream school. Suddenly, she’s there.

HPS ERIS: Welcome to my Cultan School for Witches! Merry meet. Please, enter, orientation’s just beginning.

CAITLIN: Alright, I’m Christina.

HPS ERIS: And you know I am High Priestess Eris.

It’s a black castle that makes a school.

HPS ERIS: Merry meet and welcome to this school, which shall be teaching Culta. Before you become a Cultan, you must understand what Culta is, for it is a Pagan religion all on its own, more matriarchal and freedom-based than other Pagan and Wiccan beliefs may be. We honor black magick and white magick, not only white magick, and the only reason I call it black or white is to refer to destructive and constructive at all times (even when black magick is necessary, we call it black magick). I am not judging it by discriminating of a type of spell-craft, or segregating colors. This is not what Culta’s about. We don’t worship, or require black magick, but we have simply no rule against it. All lessons will be attended on time, or you’ll get a punishment, and you won’t get knowledge.

CHRISTINA: What are some roles I’ll be getting, High Priestess Eris?

HPS ERIS: You could be a moderator, if you’re the first to apply. You’ll watch for bullying, but you’ll only get a week for that job, then we’ll pick a new moderator, who will get only a week doing his or her job. So, yes.

CHRISTINA: A moderator? I watch for bullying? Good. I’ve had enough bullying in my life, why not predict another’s?

HPS ERIS: You could talk to me about it, or talk to the Therapist. That’s more helpful, and more convenient for the school. Would anybody like to be a teacher, or co-priestess or co-priest? You can teach in some lessons, if I say you can. All may join, but Scorpios are the best-treated when they’re teachers. And all except the High Priest and High Priestess, are only temporary so another may become the Co-teacher, being fair to all students. You may re-apply whenever you’d like, there’s no limit.
BLONDE STUDENT: What about admins?

HPS ERIS: We’ll only have 5 admins, including me and my High Priest. This means, only 3 students may apply for Admin, and it isn’t something easy to get. You will only get a few weeks at being an Admin, then you’ll be back to Regular Student again, so 3 more may apply and be temporary Admins. That way, everybody gets a chance. All may join, but again, Scorpios are the best-treated when they’re admins. And some may stay regular students. Not everybody gets special roles, you know.
BRUNETTE STUDENT: What about spell-casters?

HPS ERIS: You cast all spells and do all prayers, but you still aren’t a co-priest or co-priestess. You aren’t special for more than casting spells, Georgia.

BLACK STUDENT: What about spell-counselors? Are they the same as spell-casters?

HPS ERIS: Do you know nothing? Of course there’s a wide difference. And we’ll be witnessing a Christian’s wedding. At the part where they’d say ‘speak now,’ we fly in and wreck it! Oh, about the spell-counseling. You don’t cast spells, but you give magickal recipes to students seeking help.

CAITLIN: I need therapy right away.

HPS ERIS: You could apply for therapist. We need people applying for roles as soon as possible. You give therapy to all the students, but not to admins, moderators, or the co-priestess. You keep everybody happy, so drama’s highly unlikely. Unless, of course, they defy me.

CAITLIN: Defy you? Power-hungry much?

HIGH PRIESTESS ERIS: There can be 1 therapist, temporarily, and she or he will be trained before an active therapist. You’ll permanent, by the way.

CAITLIN: Oh. Is anybody willing to be my therapist? Anybody?

HPS ERIS: The wedding’s starting now! Quick! Let’s go!

Suddenly, Caitlin finds surprisingly, that she’s flying with big, black feathery wings, as are the other students and their High Priestess.

HPS ERIS: Goddess of flight, charm these wings to go to Cornelia’s and Bertie’s wedding with all thy might! So mote it be!

CAITLIN: So, I can’t control my wings? They automatically, and safely, go to the Christian wedding? I don’t have to do anything…you charmed them! But what if I want to use them myself?

HPS ERIS: We don’t work that way here. We do whatever I say. And we don’t dare protest, either. It’s the way the world should be, though, wouldn’t you agree? Increase speed, decrease need, so mote it be!

The wings of everybody fly so quickly, they’re through the unlocked doors in no time, and the wings disappear. They blend in with the crowd, but really they aren’t the Christian crowd.

MINISTER: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this beautiful day to witness the union of Cornelia and Bertie in holy matrimony. This is a day of great celebration and reverence, on which we come together before God to recognize and commemorate the sacred love and dedication shared between these two people. It is wonderful to have family and friends here to join us today. The bride and groom would like to thank their guests for being here, and would like you to know that each of you were invited here on this day because you have played an integral part in their intertwining lives. As the Bible reminds us in Corinthians, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails." In the time that Cornelia and Bertie have spent together, they've built the sturdy foundation for a lifelong relationship. After a great deal of thoughtful consideration, they have decided to bind themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. May you all remember and cherish this sacred ceremony, for on this day, with love, we will forever bind Cornelia and Bertie together. Who gives this bride today?

HPS ERIS: I’m whispering, but hopefully you hear, Christina. In our weddings, it would be ‘Who gives this groom today.’ We’re so not patriarchal. And we’d have the groom’s companion be a male, and we don’t need a parent’s permission. We just treasure it when we can.


Minister: Cornelia and Bertie please face one another and join hands. Under the eyes of God, Cornelia, do you take Bertie to be your lawfully wedded husband? By making this commitment, you are joining in the sacred covenant of marriage.

Do you promise to honor him in love, to be sensitive to his needs, to comfort him in difficulty, and to put your full and complete trust in him, so long as you both shall live?

Cornelia: I do.

Minister: Under the eyes of God, Bertie, do you take Cornelia to be your lawfully wedded wife? By making this commitment, you are joining in the covenant of marriage.

Do you promise to honor her in love, to be sensitive to her needs, to comfort her in difficulty, and to put your full and complete trust in her, so long as you both shall live?

Bertie: I do.

Minister: Very well. Yet first, we must check and see if this wedding’s agreeable to all.

HPS ERIS: Wait for it…wait for it…

Minister: If there is anyone in attendance who has cause to believe that this couple should not be joined in marriage, you may speak now or forever hold your peace.


All the students start flying at the petite, frail-looking bride Cornelia, clawing her until she bleeds.

HPS ERIS: Come, Christina!

CAITLIN: But Cornelia’s so delicate-looking. And they nearly had a true love!

HPS ERIS: Bring Christina’s wings to the bride and things! So mote it be!

CAITLIN: Ah! Stop! Uncharm my wings right away!

HPS ERIS: I’m not afraid of you, Christina. Stop it at once!

CAITLIN: I know Christians do some things we disagree with, and it’s okay for us to disagree, and sometimes say so. But attacking a wedding based on the couple’s religion? That’s very wrong!

MINISTER: God bless your soul…Christina.

CAITLIN: That’s my Pagan name.

MINISTER: Oh, then. Pagan or not, your heart is good. Bless thou, God, bless thou!

CAITLIN: Thank you, Minister. Although I follow the Goddess, I believe in the gods, and although I may not be Christian, your blessings touched my heart…and sent the Good Spirit’s energies into my soul.

HPS ERIS: Stop it at once, Christina!

CAITLIN: High Priestess Eris, I was attacked after breaking up with Noah Fingermann. Will you attack him instead of me?

HPS ERIS: Address.

CAITLIN: 45 Divinity Drive. And not too far from here.

HPS ERIS: Bring students’ wings to 45 Divinity Drive and things!

CAITLIN: Let’s go. This is one attack I want to see! But after that, I’m kindly leaving your Cultan School. It isn’t my destiny. It simply isn’t right for me.

HPS ERIS: Alright. I was expelling you anyway. Your behavior’s a horrid predicament! And I thought I was as strife-creating as Eris Herself? I was so wrong!

CAITLIN: And I’d really, really like to make love with Ace Giampa. I don’t want Noah Fingermann. Please stop him.

HPS ERIS: Don’t worry, Christina. We’re coming at him like a dark force.

CAITLIN: Thank you, High Priestess Eris. Thank you for that.

HPS ERIS: Tell me a little about yourself as our wings take us on our journey.

CAITLIN: Well, my Pagan name’s Christina. Culta is a religion, a Pagan one, but I’m not sure if I’m a Cultan. My actual name is Caitlin Gibbs. I’ve been called Caitlin usually. You’re the first one I’ve allowed to call Christina. Not even my coven’s high priestess, my mentor, Daphne, is allowed to. Honestly.

HPS ERIS: I see. And why are you uncomfortable with the name, however charming it is?

CAITLIN: It isn’t discomfort, High Priestess Eris. It’s…something else. I haven’t figured out my path yet. So I’m not ready to be called Christina yet.

HPS ERIS: So I must stop, based on your egocentricity’s wishes alone?

CAITLIN: No, you needn’t stop. I can’t hide from my future forever. It’ll catch up with me in the end, I guess.

HPS ERIS: Of course it will. Without a future, your present will be the only thing there is for you. You need your future if you ever want anything, even survival. Don’t be cranky, Christina. It’ll catch up with you. Why don’t you want it too? Aren’t you thrilled?

CAITLIN: No, Eris. I’m scared.

HPS ERIS: You shouldn’t be. You’re always scared so easily, it seems. You’re even scared of stopping an ugly Christian wedding.

CAITLIN: That’s your problem, Eris. It wasn’t ugly. They were about to have true love, regardless of their religion. And no Cultan, no Pagan, no Witch, would ever agree to doing what you’re doing!

HPS ERIS: Then why are my students agreeing to this?

CAITLIN: Do they have a choice? I got expelled for speaking up. So what makes them any different, Eris? You scare off everybody. And I’m not afraid to tell you all this in public. In fact, I’m fine with the whole world knowing your true colors. I’m firm on that!

ERIS: Can you stop, Caitlin?

CAITLIN: Don’t you mean Christina, the name you’re nagging me with? You said I had an ego by telling you why I’m seldom called Christina, didn’t I? Fine words and name-calling coming from that same High Priestess.

ERIS: What’s your favorite food? Color? Anything? You’re not telling me anything. You’re just complaining. So wistful you are!

CAITLIN: I like, well, purple and blue a lot. And I kind of enjoy the, um, macaroni and cheese nights, and pizza. What do you eat, eye of newt?

ERIS: Of course not.

CAITLIN: I’m kidding, Eris.

ERIS: Since when aren’t you calling me High Priestess?

CAITLIN: Oh, just when I found you’re my equal.

ERIS: Can you please stop and try to be polite? Anyway, we’re here. Your house.

They open the unlocked door.

NOAH: What the--? Who are all of you, how’d you get in, and what do you want?

CAITLIN: They’re my new friends, and ex-teacher and ex-classmates. They’re not my friends yet, I guess. We got in because you forgot to lock the door. And we want revenge from you. We want you out of my house, and out of my romantic relationships. We want you out of my life, and we’ll fight to get some peace.

ERIS: Guys, let’s go! Sally!


She flies into Noah, scarring his left cheek with her wings.

CAITLIN: You stop, Noah!

She flies into Noah, scarring his right cheek.

CAITLIN: Enough!

NOAH: You’d better get your witches out of here.

CAITLIN: You thought you got the best of me, you thought you scared me away, but you didn’t!

NOAH: Caitlin…

CAITLIN: Don’t you mean Christina?

SALLY: You were so wrong! Ever heard of being a gentleman?

BLACK STUDENT: Guess chivalry’s dead for cowans, for Jews, for non-Wiccans!

CAITLIN: You’re Wiccan?

BLACK STUDENT: The only part of Wicca I don’t like is An’ Ye Harm None.

CAITLIN: It has some truth, doesn’t it?

BLACK STUDENT: Yeah, but it is over-the-top An’ Ye Harm None, Do What Thou Wilt. The And You Harm None, Do What You Will stuff doesn’t ring true with me.

CAITLIN: Guess what? It does with me.

BLACK STUDENT: At least you aren’t Christian. Or are you?

CAITLIN: Focus. We must defeat Noah Fingermann!

NOAH: I’m leaving.

Noah runs out.

CAITLIN: Go. Leave. Don’t hurt him. We’re just getting him to leave. That’s all we want. It isn’t evil, or harming others, that we’re after. It’s peace.

SALLY: And we’ve all got a different type, a different way of getting it.

HPS ERIS: And one too many doubt my way of getting it. You shall at Cornelia’s wedding.

CAITLIN: Cornelia was just like Julia.

HPS ERIS: Who’s Julia?

CAITLIN: Julia Tyson, Steven Tyson’s sister, is always abused, attacked. And she’s my friend. No wonder I protected Cornelia…the way I should be protecting Julia. I should be doing more to help her.

HPS ERIS: You really feel this way?

CAITLIN: Yes, I do. But I’d rather not shock Julia with supernatural, paranormal things like this.

HPS ERIS: You really want to help Julia?

CAITLIN: With all my heart!

HPS ERIS: Never. Not with you…doing this.


HPS ERIS: You could give me something, and I’d give you Julia’s protection, darling.

CAITLIN: What would you give me?

HPS ERIS: Marry me. Marry Him.

CAITLIN: Marry who?

HPS ERIS: Kill yourself, and I will murder Steven Tyson.


HPS Eris kisses and bites Caitlin.

HPS ERIS: Caitlin, I’m just asking you to espouse me, assassinate yourself…and I’ll manslaughter Steven Tyson for you, I’ll protect Julia Tyson. I’ll do everything I can…if you just give yourself to me, then give yourself to my Husband, marry Him.

CAITLIN: Wait. You want me to marry you, then kill myself, then marry your husband? How can I marry both you and your husband? And how can I marry him when I’m dead?

HPS ERIS: You can marry Him…in Hell.


HPS ERIS: You heard me. Marry me now, kill yourself, then marry Satan. Then Julia will sell her soul to Satan, and in return, I promise to keep her protected from Steven Tyson.

CAITLIN: Give myself, Julia’s self, to Satan? You’re a Cultan! Cultans aren’t Satanic!

HPS ERIS: No, Cultans aren’t Satanic. Witches aren’t Satanic. Pagans aren’t Satanic. I’m pretending to be a Cultan. Really, I’ve always been Satan’s wife. I set up this trap. I’m not a High Priestess. There aren’t any students. I’m Eala, your mirror spirit, leaving the mirror…and all my other spirit friends are helping me! We only pretended, to set you up. To give somebody new to Satan.

CAITLIN: You’re Eala? You’re friendly!

EALA: That’s the trap you’ve been in forever. I’m sorry.

CAITLIN: No. You. Aren’t. I hate you! I’m going to recite a prayer. Any energy that no longer serves me, please leave now. Thank you for your presence. Now I am sending you home. Blessed be, yet now go!

EALA: Stop! No!


EALA: There’s no Satan. I was pretending to get power…!

CAITLIN: All that was a trap? I’m sorry to Noah. I shouldn’t have betrayed him. I shouldn’t have done any of this. Everything I’ve been doing’s wrong. Goodbye.

Caitlin goes to sleep.

ISIS: Daughter, you were attacked by a lying spirit. She used lies to hide lies that were hiding their own lies. She kept lying of lies…you shouldn’t trust Eala. And I’m sorry. She may just come back.

CAITLIN: I’m feeling scared.

ISIS: Don’t. Blessed be.


© 2016 Celeste Lucy Zaveri

Author's Note

Celeste Lucy Zaveri
Caitlin Gibbs or Christina - the main character, who is beautiful, smart, wise, and connected deeply to the Goddess. She even has Isis’s symbol, the Ankh, as a birthmark. She’s very wise at Wicca, but her beauty and magick can get her in danger, jealousy, and big trouble. Her legal name is Caitlin Gibbs, and her Pagan name is Christina (or Christin when nicknamed). So when she's called Christina or Christin, don't be surprised when she's suddenly called Caitlin. It's the same person.


Noah Fingermann - a Jewish man in love with Caitlin, who doesn’t so his feelings for her. He’s too shy to even touch her, and doesn’t know if he’s fine with marrying a Wiccan or not. He is six feet five and muscular.


Wiltin Ott - Caitlin's official boyfriend, although her unofficial ones are Noah and Ace. Wiltin is a Wiccan just like her, and his patron goddess is Isis.


Carly Wilkins - a voodoo practitioner from Jamaica, who is jealous of Chelsea’s kindness, beauty, intelligence, and connection to the Goddess. She wants beauty, power, and black magick. She evens wants to be higher up and more powerful than Isis, and in her schizophrenic eyes, Caitlin’s a big supervillain standing in her way. The antagonist of The Magickal & the Cowan.


Julia Tyson - a skinny and small Jew who’s delicate both physically and emotionally, and has a big crush on Noah Fingermann. She, in fact, thinks that she needs to be physically protected by Noah. Julia’s a feminine girly-girl, and has skinny, fragile arms and is pretty-looking. She also is five feet exactly. Her daintiness and smallness is a curse for her, because her younger brother abuses her.


Ace Giampa - Caitlin's cihldhood friend, who moved away from her hometown when they were young teens. Now, all grown up, Ace is returning and Caitlin's juggling feelings for him, feelings for Noah, and stronger feelings for Wilton.


Caroline Taylor - one of Christin's (or Caitlin's) friends, which she calls on whenever she feels she needs close friendship, and listening about her problems with Carly, Noah, or Ace.


Steven Tyson - a 6’9 man, strong and muscular, who is Julia’s brother and abuses her. He appears in the first scene.

Daphne Moonchild - the high priestess of Blessed Luna Coven.

Eala - the friendly spirit living in Caitlin's mirror, which is first seen and noticed by High Priestess Daphne Moonchild. But then, Caitlin begins making friends with Eala.

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Added on September 21, 2016
Last Updated on September 21, 2016
Tags: screenplay, TV show, episode, season, Wicca, Pagan, fiction, realistic, Wiccan, Paganism, goddess, Witch, teen, The Magickal & the Cowan, movie


Celeste Lucy Zaveri
Celeste Lucy Zaveri

Germantown, MD

I've written "The Immortal Legacy" on and I love writing online. I'm also a psychic and I support the Democratic side in every election. I sometimes write nonfiction and poetry, but mostly.. more..

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