Here’s how it works
It’s not that crooked chairs frustrate me
or a book shelf arranged
unconventionally irritates the hell out of me
I am not a fussy kid
Nor am I fixed or conventional
It’s not that when I wash my hands
so they turn red
Like burns
I am doing it because I prefer to feel clean
Or when I spend 2 hours in the shower
I just have this thing where I really want to smell good
I was never a clean kid
I smelled of me after ten mins in the shower
It’s not like that
what everyone thinks -
OCD is particular
My magic number is 8
Although anything above that
can hardly be bad
But 8 feels right
Safe.
So here’s how it really works:
I straighten chairs
and arrange bookshelves
and wash my hands 8 times
and spend 2 hours in the shower
because otherwise my mother will die.
That’s what my head tells me
My adolescent spaghetti head
Too busy telling my body to work
it didn’t see the creep in the corner
Slowly
and meticulously
Unplugging wires
Unscrewing bolts
Taking over
until its too late
See, OCD is not particular
OCD is DEVASTATING