Sweet fallout

Mother of rain

womb of glass

My father was attending

the last mass

Mother of God

let's drink your

blood

and never count the days

Mother of God

Where is my father?

In your arms so warm

I feel my timeless constitution

and a black destitution

That smile that runs for miles

Dripping long, long longing

coming in waves

the ghost will behave

It's fitness, deep and blue

I'm a witness

of another hue

Sweet fallout

dream blackout

coming across as static

this heart is 

a statue,

a monument, erratic

Original mechanism

I don't live with it

black tide will swallow

ebbing and flowing

above the white expanse

Me, red thunderbolt

Orchestra of feeling

Heir to death, reeling

I'm here with

the mother of God, 

If God

wished for mothers

why did he 

give us brothers

Why aren't you happy

in your pink cell

you must've broken

the spell

Reviews

[Alessander]

I REALLY enjoyed the opening. Wow.

Mother of rain
womb of glass

Womb of glass I think sets the tone to this piece. This poem is a bit strange in that it seems like a prayer/incantation to the gods, but it's a little hostile and venomous.

Mother of God, let's drink your blood

Yes, it may refer to the feminine version of the eating of body, drinking wine at mass, but it can also stand for sacrificing 'virgins' to appease the gods, a more Aztec notion of god and metaphysics.

Me, red thunderbolt
Orchestra of feeling
Heir to death, reeling

I love the "heir to death". It's in exactly the right place, and makes an impact. It's right in the middle of a semi-ecstasy, which reels in the reader/ecstatic vision back to terrain like a church bell.

The part I didn't think was necessary was the entire last stanza, especially the "Im not kidding." That totally shatters the tone, IMO, and I don't think belongs. I think the poem would end with more thunder if you end it with the previous stanza, but again, that's just me.

Anyhow, you give the reader a lot to munch on, but honestly, I'm not entirely sure how to come away with this...is this calling for the feminine, and if so, is it the healing feminine represented by Mary, or describing the more destructive realities of the feminine furies?.....

[Frontier]

You know, going back I do agree with that last stanza. It does seem abrupt.
I appreciate you lengthy, informative input. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am very taken by this piece, and am still digesting it...
the imagery is masterful, the wordplay intriguing...

will be back to it for further pondering...

[Frontier]

Thank you, Jacob.