Here/There

It isn't very well put together. I apologize if it is confusing or has mistakes. I'm going to be focusing on my other writing from now on.

I feel too distant to be here.

Why is it so challenging to hear?

Even worse that I can't understand

I don't want to say disconnected...but I'm almost there 

Ready to feel 

I'm just not there with everyone else.

My head it aches. My hands they shake. It hurts. It hurts. 

Push down this food, here it comes, back up again.

I hate, hate, hate, hate this feeling. 

It's too close, and I'm not even there. 

I learned to be closer but not close enough.

I want how I was.

Alone was where I thought I was happy. Can't it stay. I need it to stay.

When I think no one understands, it's because I haven't explained.

I can't explain what's here if you haven't been here. 

It isn't just me who has this depression, but I only feel mine. 

Selfishly, I'll hide away. Everyone hurts, but I hurt the most. 

When it comes, it's always too long. 

When it's gone, it's always too long. 

I miss the emptiness. I hate it until I cry. 

Too long we've fought.

I'm almost to the end.

This poem is the last. 

I gave it my attention, I wrote it too long. 

Here I sat with skin too pale and a head made up of lies. 

If I only write words to describe my worries, I'll always read back to a sad life. 

I'll forget all the laughs, the meals I could eat, the worries I forgot 

Those days when my depression stood off to the side while I just sat quietly...almost normal for awhile. 

Writing this poem, I am in control.

This poem is the last sad thing I'll write. 

I'm still here, but one day I'll be there. 

Author's Note

It isn't very well put together. I apologize if it is confusing or has mistakes. I'm going to be focusing on my other writing from now on.

Reviews

[Shabeeh Haider]

This is a sad write. Someone who is overcome with bouts of depression. You don't want that feeling but can't get out of it. You feel empty, you cry and you vomit the food that you eat.
You want to get out of this depression, which is indeed a positive approach. You don't want to write sad poetry but poetry that comes from the heart and words that are washed with tears are the best.
A beautifully written poem

[Emily]

I really like this!
Keep it up!

(p.s, now that were friends, send me some read request. That's the best way to make sure I read your work!)