The Children

Because they're the most important.

Carol sat at the kitchen table, anxiously tapping the mug in her hand with a chewed nail. The check would arrive soon. She would be able to move out of Deeandra’s house and her children would be able to sleep in a bed of their own. In only three more hours, she’d be able to stand on her own again.

A few minutes after the sun rose, Carol heard the soft padding of Deeandra’s feet on the staircase. When the woman saw her sister sitting at the table with a mug in her shaking hands, she wasn’t surprised. Carol had been like that since her house burned down. When she reluctantly asked if she could move in with her, she couldn’t be happier.

“It’s going to be a while,” she said, getting breakfast ready.

Deeandra was young and gorgeous, and her sister couldn’t help but feel a bit envious. She had her entire future ahead of her, and a house to live it in.

“I know,” she answered. “I’m just nervous, is all.”

The apprehension came from knowledge that Deeandra needed the insurance money, too. She had a lovely house and a good job, but she was swimming in debt. The money, of course, belonged to her, but she felt that it would be stingy to hold out on her sister, even though Deeandra was equally greedy and would end up wanting the entire check.

“Listen, Carol, you don’t have to give me any of the money,” Deeandra said. She cracked an egg and it dripped into the skillet. “I’ll find some way to get out of debt.”

She was trying to draw pity out of her, and it was working. Carol was too sympathetic for her own good and Deeandra would get every cent from her with guilt.

“I told you, I’ll split the check,” Carol said, a sharp edge in her voice. Dee was beginning to irk her.

The kids came thumping down the stairs. Two of them belonged to Carol and two belonged to her sister. There was a stark contrast between the two sets of kids. One pair was excited for the first day of school; the other pair couldn’t care less. They were going into second grade, but the enthusiasm didn’t affect the homeless children. Carol’s daughter, Emily, hugged her.

“Mommy,” she said,” is the money coming today?”

Carol embraced her child and replied,” Yes, baby, its coming.”

As she looked at her offspring in all of their morning glory, she realized that it wasn’t her or Deeandra that needed the check; it was the children. They suffered the most from the fire, losing their home and security. Carol knew that money or a new home couldn’t heal them, but it could give them a sense of security.

When the check finally came, she didn’t open it. She let her children tear apart the envelope and read the numbers. They couldn’t fully grasp the enormity of the money, but happiness shone in their eyes. They knew with that check, they could buy a future.

Author's Note

This was written for Journalism. We watched the movie Raisin in the Sun (which was great) and we had various types of writing to choose from. The assignment was a sort of juxtaposition between the movie and whatever you wrote. Mine isn't the best, and it's probably cliche, but I like the idea.

Con-crit is loved.

Reviews

[Danielle]

"I told you, I'll split the check," Carol said, a sharp edge in her voice. Dee was beginning to irk her.- Too me this part seems really stiff. You use a lot of long sentences, but here it is really short and crisp. Its not bad, but it just seems a little too short and crisp. Also, calling the kids offspring seems a little weird. Children aren't usually thought of like that I don't think by their parents (and it is in their moms POV I think.)
I do like that it's short and leaves a lot to thought, but enough to that the audience can really grasp the situation clearly. Also that the characters are real. I like that Deeandre is greedy, and that Carol is sympathetic and jealous. It's not the perfect scenario after the fire. I think its a good little piece.