untitled

untitled

A Poem by Courtney

I feel so small lying next to you.
The bed is so big, filled with crumbled emotions.
The blankets swallow all the thoughts I want to say to you, 
the pillows suffocate all the sound I try to get out. 
The sheets wrap around my body so I cant move closer.
I'm stuck, I cant breathe.
I feel you next to me, but the emptiness between us makes me wish I wasn't. 
But I stay there, lying in the bed. 
I stare up at the ceiling, and the walls are blank. 
I look around the room, and the memories are fading. 
I turn and look at you, and you're gone. 
I feel so small lying next to you. 


© 2017 Courtney



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review


Analysis:
I like the personification added in line 3. it gives off the idea that whatever the speaker wants to say, the blankets refuse to. The blankets do not want the speaker out of the comfort zone. In line 5, once again, you personified "sheets" to "wrap" so that the speaker doesnt leave the comfort, therefore, setting the tone and theme of the poem. the imagery on line 2, "crumbled emotions" The audience can visualize how the speaker feels about her feelings are a mess and its soul feeling crushed. In the last 4 lines, the anaphora was used so that the speaker can illuminate 1st person so that the audience that the speaker is lonely.

Overall:
Excellent poem. Applying literary devices on your poem made it very strong and deep!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

My exact feelings last night... damn you nailed it... great write

xo FLB

Posted 3 Months Ago


I really like this. So real and full of emotion. i like how you repeat the first and last lines. the emotions are conveyed well here. nice job.

Posted 3 Months Ago


we become insignificant when our self esteem depends on our partners approval. a lovely write to convey these images.

Posted 3 Months Ago


It will break my heart if something like this happened in a relationship...but I like this poem!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Analysis:
I like the personification added in line 3. it gives off the idea that whatever the speaker wants to say, the blankets refuse to. The blankets do not want the speaker out of the comfort zone. In line 5, once again, you personified "sheets" to "wrap" so that the speaker doesnt leave the comfort, therefore, setting the tone and theme of the poem. the imagery on line 2, "crumbled emotions" The audience can visualize how the speaker feels about her feelings are a mess and its soul feeling crushed. In the last 4 lines, the anaphora was used so that the speaker can illuminate 1st person so that the audience that the speaker is lonely.

Overall:
Excellent poem. Applying literary devices on your poem made it very strong and deep!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

156 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 20, 2017
Last Updated on August 20, 2017

Author

Courtney
Courtney

Horicon, WI



About
Writing is everything that makes up me. more..

Writing
you. you.

A Poem by Courtney


stuck. stuck.

A Poem by Courtney