Restless Night

Snippet

The night was restless.  Better to say it that way than the raw honest way, admitting  to my own restlessness.  I lay there my heart tossing and turning in my chest, desperately trying to shut out the condemnation.  This condition was the product of an overwrought mind;  of mean words, desolate words, hurtful words.  Words that were both echoes and fabrications.   I am weary of my  heart being  scratched by the malevolent  fingernails of rejection.

The condition of my heart?   It has been broken many times; emotionally and physically.  I live with a mechanical assist that 'fixed' the physical.  It beats now with a relentless, perfectly cadenced ticking.  It scares me that it might even tick forever.  I grow fearful because, into  the breach of the emotional break has crept an ooze.  A seepage of bitter trickles and droplets tinged with hatred.  Welling up and pooling on the side of my heart that holds on to the rejections.  Rejections and disappointments are piled up there, like  old tattered,  decaying  photographs.  They fill the chamber and are festering in a simmering heat of rage.

That is not all, though.  The other side of my heart seems to be encased in a protective glimmer.  Open and spacious, it whispers about compassion and forgiveness.  In an utter, inexplicable peace,  gem encrusted butterflies flit and dance with the substance of smiles and there is a never depleted fountain which  brings forth fresh and clean water to the sound of playful laughter.  It is a chamber filled with joy and tinted only in muted colors of love and understanding.  It is an open field ever welcoming and never full of anything but possibility.

On that restless night I was trapped in the breach between the two sides of my heart.  I could barely stand up for the exhaustion and my back was leaning on the side of possibility, so my eyes could only see the dark ooze.  It was there that I felt the tossing and turning of my heart. So it was too difficult to find rest, no matter how weary I'd become.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

This leaves me feeling amazed... I think I can relate to very much... It began the way I have been feeling for the last couple of days, feeling broken, and I liked all the details you have used about the condition of the heart which helps the reader to understand and relate to it more... The first part of it says the hard, dark and broken parts of the heart but as I move on to the ending, it gives me hope and a light and I can relate to it more... Because a part of my heart was happy even though it was going through pain, that part of my heart was smiling, but the darker and broken part was little bigger so the happy and joyful part hidden behind it...

So beautifully described it dear frnd... Excellent work!!!

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Jo R.]

Just getting back to writing and this review. Thanks for your perspective and transparent sharing, Dhiman! Best, Jo