To the Girl I Dreamed Of

A Story by dklp88

A Person who has to make an impossible Choice

I woke up. My body hurt all over, as I sprang up, as one usually does after having a bad dream. I sat there, breathing heavily, my chest rising up and down, up and down, heart racing. I collapsed back down onto my pillow. And while this set of circumstances did indeed come from a dream, it wasn’t a nightmare that made me so harried. It was a very good dream indeed. A good dream that I’ve been having for over a week now.

I lied there, on the ground. My abdomen hurt, as if I had been shot. Well, because I had been shot. But I think that I won the duel- though I have little idea on why I was in it anyways. And the guns were odd- they seemed to do energy blasts instead of bullets. And come to think of it, my opponent was odd as well. He, if it was fair to call him a he, didn’t look particularly human. He/it looked like some sort of movie monster that resulted from radiation poisoning. All scaly, with a purple tinge. He was also monstrously fat. Morbidly obese would be an understatement for this guy. But I had still shot him, and he was gone. I looked around me. I still wasn’t exactly sure of my surroundings. It seemed to be some sort of a wasteland. And rapidly approaching my body was that of a pretty girl. More than pretty, more like my ideal looks in a girl. I became firmly convinced that this had to be a dream, until she rammed into me at full force, giving me a hug, and kneeing me in my wound. I cried out in pain.

I leaned over and gave Audrey a kiss on the cheek. Audrey’s been my girlfriend for five years, and we lived together for three. And though I only used the term girlfriend, it was as if we were married in all but name. There were multitudes of reasons that we didn’t, but it came down to the fact that we had a happy balance between ourselves, and marriage would, at least in theory, upset that balance. So we lived our lives in perfect happiness with each other. She stirred as my lips brushed against hers. Her eyes sleepily opened and she smiled somewhat. ‘Good morning darling.’ I didn’t respond in anyway besides giving her another kiss on the cheek and getting up, moving to the bathroom. Thank God it was a Saturday. I quickly shed my clothes and turned the shower on.

I learned that the girl who had rushed me was called Selene Ann. I thought it was a pretty name and commented as such. She just blushed, and continued with her tale. Apparently, she was being threatened by Baron Eschev (the scaly guy that I had killed) when I came barreling into the scene. Selene assumed that my actions were in defense of her honour, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I just sort appeared there. I tried to focus on her features, and I couldn’t. It was odd, because I knew that she was the perfect sum of parts. That seemed like a fact to me. But anytime that I started to get an idea what those parts were, they just faded away. The only definite that I could get was that she’s short. I was wondering why, when she inadvertently told me the answer. She pushed a pill in front of me, and said, ‘I have to admit, your presence isn’t entirely unexpected. I was told by this strange man that I would meet someone and to tell them that they are Dreaming, and that by taking this pill that they would be able to return to this position in the future, even though that time and distance will pass. And then he told me not to worry about it because you will appear and disappear randomly, but you will always return when I need it most. I didn’t really understand it, but I think that you are the person that I was looking for.’ I just was shocked, but thought that there would be no harm in taking the pill. So I took it.

The hot water streamed over me. It felt safe and comforting. I love nothing more than a hot shower in the morning, and that was the honest truth. Or that’s what I would have told myself, before the dreams began. That’s the weird part about dreams, they are just a reflection of your own subconscious. However you can’t account for them. For example, while I love hot showers in the morning, some of my most exhilarating moments in my dreams was ‘waking’ up all dirty and doing the next task, whatever it was. Same thing about the girl in my dream. While Audrey is tall and fair (and certainly if one were to ask I would respond that she was the closest thing that I can imagine to pure beauty), Selene was short. Admittedly, I couldn’t tell anything about the fair part. My subconscious just kept on playing tricks on me, and it was slightly angering.

I was face to face with a rather ugly man. But at least he was obviously a man. And I wasn’t sure what made him ugly. It wasn’t as he had any obvious defects. But the total of the man seemed wrong. As if the sum of his parts is greater than the whole. Then again, as I quickly ascertained, this was a part of my subconscious. Maybe it was just the uncanny valley effect, that because he wasn’t human but a figment of my imagination, that my mind quickly realized that and tried to tell me that something was wrong. I quickly focused on his voice, having figured out that he was speaking to me. ‘Oh good, Selena found the correct person. I was a little worried there. I mean I knew that she would find the right one, but still. It would be a great embarrassment if she picked up the wrong person. Now shut it,’ he said it when I opened my mouth to speak, ‘I’m gonna tell you a few things that hopefully will make what’s happening more understandable than it is now. First off yes, you are dreaming. How do I know that? Because I accidentally stumbled upon your dreaming universe. You know, the universe built where people go to dream. Everyone has one. I’ve found yours. Next, I’m Mr. Exposition, telling you things so they make sense to you. Don’t ask me why, it’s your Dream Universe.’ He spent the next few hours, if there is such a measurement of time in dreams, explaining what I’m supposed to do, and the history of the part of the ‘Dream Universe’ I had stumbled upon, most of it forgotten moments after it was said to me. When he finished, he just slapped me on the cheek and disappeared.

The shower continued on. I reached for the soap and found only a small portion of the bar left. I would have to refill it soon. However the amount I had left was enough in order to do the job. I applied it liberally the whole body (for why not?) and let the water run over me to wash it off. I felt no need to help the water along; I just let it clean as it will. I started to think what was beyond that bathroom door, and Audrey sleeping there. I’ve long wondered how I could have been lucky enough to have her even see me as an equal, let alone date me. It’s cheesy but true. Of course, probably loads of people see their loved one as the most beautiful thing in the world, and it wasn’t as if I was facing a large amount of competition to gain her attention. And now I was feeling guilty, for it was as if my subconscious was telling me that she wasn’t good enough for me. That she wasn’t everything that I hoped for. And I’m old enough to know that you have to compromise sometimes, and that the people we love aren’t perfect angels who are paragons of good. But in this shower, I started to gain a new perspective. What if she was also a figment of my imagination? What if all of those solipsists were right and my mind is all that exists? If that was the case then my subconscious had a weird way of expressing it. Or maybe I was just over analyzing the situation. It wasn’t as if I had dated Audrey for 5 years for no reason at all.

We went on adventures. We crossed the frozen deserts of Tilip, where apparently the sand had been turned to glass. While Selene Ann had no idea what could cause this, I decided to spare her the basic lesson of heat and sand. We took on the local barons, ran across mountains, and generally lived life in extreme danger most of the time. It was rather fun. And every time I returned, I would learn more about Selene. She, for apparently families did exist in this corner of my Dream Universe, came from a random village family, and she left on her own to make her way in the world. Then lots of things happened to her, most prominently a run in with Mr. Exposition, and she ended up finding me. She would, however, never tell me what she did while I was away, except for giving me the immediate background whenever I popped back in. I wondered if it was that my mind didn’t know what happened while I was away. I also started to notice this annoying trend of mine to call it away, instead of awake. As if this was as real as the world back where I grew up my life. With Audrey. And my job that pays me money. But as time went on, I pushed these concerns back. It felt real to me, I was absolutely sure of it. And as time went on, and with a certain air of inevitability, I started to fall in love with Selene Ann.

Audrey is the love of my life. I had exited the shower, and was brushing my teeth. But as I tried to unravel the mystery of my thoughts and feelings, I felt as if that I came to that conclusion because it was true. I was in love with Audrey, and I knew it. But then I thought of back in the Dream Universe. And I knew it was Selene that I felt the greater more intimate love for. And again I come at a loss. It is almost as within either universe, I preferred that one over the one that was on the other side. It was confusing me, and I spent the rest of the day in some sort of daze. And when it came to night, I just flopped over to sleep, with barley a goodnight to Audrey.

I wake up, but not in any area that I recognize, nor is it any place that makes sense. It feels wrong, and is a pitch black, extending out to infinity. The only thing that I can make out is the outline of a man. I instantly recognize it as the slightly off putting Mr. Exposition. He just stands there watching me. But I dare not speak. I cannot speak. It seems utterly wrong to speak. The seconds or eternities just pass us by. He speaks eventually. ‘I’ve taken you to this place. Now you might be wondering what a manifestation of your subconscious is doing leading you by your nose. The answer is that I’m not. Now, whether or not anybody in you Dream Universe is a manifestation of your imagination is a fight for interpretation. But I am from outside your Dream Universe, and I just happened to pop in. That’s why you can know about my features. Now before you go and speak, which you won’t by the way, I’m going to make you an offer. Why? Because you are torn between two people. Now I’ve decided to force things to a head. I will offer you a pill. If you take it, you can stay forever with Selene, but you must leave Audrey behind. How do I know about Audrey? Well, my name is Mr. Exposition. I know things that happened. That’s sort of my point. Anyways, if you refuse the pill, you can never enter your Dream Universe again. Oh you’ll sleep, but you can’t dream. Now which is it? Hurry up and answer, I have little patience, and have to be somewhere in an eternity or two. Very important meeting. I have to go eventually. So make your choice.’ He holds his hands out toward me, in it a small pill. I laugh, for something so small can change my life indefinitely. I still don’t know if I should trust this dream, but I feel truly objective, for the first time in a long time. I stare at the pills and make my choice.