The Back of Whoknowswhere!

I’d had a spat with my only love

So I set out in the car,

She said, ‘Well, where are you going to?’

I answered, ‘Eversofar!’

She said, ‘That isn’t the name of a place,

You really drive me spare!’

I said, ‘Oh yes, it’s a place all right

At the back of Whoknowswhere!’

 

So off I went, and pointed the nose

Of the car along the track,

I didn’t know where it would take me to,

Except to the Great Outback,

A man could get lost in this country, for

It’s huge, beyond compare,

And every road and bullock track

Leads on to Whoknowswhere!

 

I travelled north and I travelled west

And a good bit in-between,

The countryside was a-glow that day,

The trees and the fields were green,

I passed the town Wotwillya-Do

And began to count the cost,

For by the time that the sun went down

I knew I was more than lost.

 

I stopped at a pub called ‘Halfway There’

Took a room, and unrolled my pack,

Then I saw the other side of the sign

That proclaimed it ‘Halfway Back’.

I thought that I’d better sleep on it

To decide which way was best,

Did I want to be tied forevermore

If our love had failed the test?

 

I asked the publican where we were

And he answered, ‘Onyarown’,

And out in the bar were single men

Who knew that their hopes had flown,

So I drove due East on a narrow track

That the publican said was fair,

Would take me back to a major road

And the township called ‘OutThere’.

 

It struck me then that our lives had hinged

On the track that we chose to drive,

And every choice took us further from

The place that we felt alive,

The countryside became burnt and brown

The further I drove away,

So I took a right and I headed south

When I hit the town ‘Dismay’.

 

Why do we ruin a perfect love

When that love is not to blame,

And take ourselves off eversofar

That it never can be the same,

We try to reclaim the one we’d been

When we’d wandered, way out there,

But the one we’d been has long since fled

To the back of Whoknowswhere.

 

No matter which way I’d twist and turn

There seemed no getting back,

There wasn’t a simple way to go,

Not even a bullock track,

So I called her up on a mobile phone

And she cried when I said I cared:

‘I’ll still be around if you're coming home

From the back of Whoknowswhere!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

I'm with Roarke on this one. There is a a sober little lesson to be found in this witty piece. And yet, it appears that there may be a road back should the wanderer truly be coming home. Loved the wordplay in this - the town names "Dismay" "Onyarown" I think I've been there.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

APPLAUSE! This is among your best. I laughed with the first stanza and then got lost on the journey with you. Love this! 100/100

[Baby Ricochet]

Funny story. Whenever I fight with Lexus bad enough to leave the house I go shoot pool. It gives me something to focus on and she knows where I am. So when I come home we've both calmed down and we can talk like grown up are supposed to. So far so good anyway.

[Lena M. P.]

How clever! The play of words with the emotions was brilliant. The grass isn't always greener is it? So much fun. It's nice to smile at one of your poems for a change! LOL

[Tate Morgan]

I loved this one! I cant tell you how this mirrors my own life and times. Oh so many times i second guessed my decisions to go. But that is where life is found in the back of i dont know.

[Mark]

Another brlliant example of a very serious message couched in the inimitable Paget verse. It takes a very special kind of perception to realize that our lives are nowt but journeys, and that most of the turns we make were hasty if not overtly wrong.Too often, though, we men assume that hwat is in fact our destination was merely a way-station, and so go seeking the odd tour buses! Luckily for your laddiebuck, the tour guide seems willing to refresh his Zagat guide, one more time at least!

[TPK Stories]

I like the names of the towns...clever! ;-

[Marie]

I don't think you can return from "Whoknowswhere"; you can only go on to "Whateverwillbe..."

[Tomahawk Joe]

Another good one pleasing rhythm

[quinfinn]

well, if women weren't so damnable cryptic with their feelings and intentions! anyway, i love the clever wordplay involved here, it made the poem a hilarity .....in spite of the underlying theme of "losing our way". a lot of thought went into this poem, it is fairly obvious. well done....