The Share

The flats were old and the rooms were cold

But I didn’t have much choice,

I hadn’t the money for anything else

Since the spat I had with Joyce,

I’d walked the streets for almost a day

Just to find a place to stay,

When I finally found a flat to rent

The building was old and grey.

Dust was grimed on the windowsill

And mud was tramped in the hall,

Whatever was left of the carpet there

You just couldn’t see at all,

The caretaker in the bottom flat

Handed out the do’s and don’ts,

The rent on time on the topmost line,

Ahead of the wills and won’ts.

I didn’t know it was partly share

Till I’d paid, and taken the key,

Until I entered the bathroom there

And found there was more than me.

A woman sat there, painting her nails

Come in from the flat next door,

Said, ‘You’re my share?’ as she patted her hair,

‘You’d better prepare, there’s more.’

We not only shared the bathroom there

But the key to the only Loo,

There was only a single kitchen there

And it looked like we shared that too,

I wasn’t impressed, was more than depressed

And I kept on thinking of Joyce,

How could I sink so low, I thought,

But she didn’t give me a choice.

I lay in bed the following morn,

Lay in till a quarter-past two,

Why should I get up early when

There was nothing I had to do.

I thought I’d cook me a rasher or two,

Some eggs, and a slice of bread,

Till I walked out into the kitchen, then

And into a land of dread.

There were bats hung over the fireplace,

And a great big pot on the hob,

And something thin that had just been skinned

Lay over an iron knob.

There were piles of bones on the platter board

And some fingers left on a plate,

Their rings were on but the hand was gone,

Off to a dismal fate.

I whirled about in despair, in case

Someone was stalking me,

And checked the grate of the fireplace

Where the ashes glowed redly,

The pot was bubbling on the hob

And some things that looked like ears,

Kept bobbing up to the surface 

Like some headless bombardiers.

I spun away to the kitchen sink

And I gazed into its depths,

Peered on in with a single blink

And I fought to keep my breath,

For staring up was a grinning skull

As the girl I saw last night,

Came leaping in like a beast of sin

And I lost my appetite.

‘It isn’t what you might think,’ she said,

‘I should have warned you, right!

We use this room for the local Rep

To rehearse their play tonight.

I set it up for the witches scene,

It’s only a plastic skull,

And plastic bats and toy skinned-cats,

Want to eat?’ I said ‘I’m full!’

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Celie Rose]

Wow!.. you really had me going! I cringed as I read the description of contents in the kitchen. I really thought she was a witch having/preparing a ghoulish meal.....totally unexpected ending. What a relief that it was only a witches scene.. rehearsal for a play. Great story...Keep writing.

[TPK Stories]

Another excellent tale. Loved it.

[Cass Morgan]

I almost threw up when I read the description of what he saw in the kitchen. I thought she was some kind of witch, and that she was going to kill him as well. Unexpected ending, great twist! 100 points from me. :D

[Breanna Riddle]

Hahaha that was amazing. What a great story. Amazing as always thank you for sharing

[andrew mitchell]

A great yarn David in perfect format

[R Smith]

haha well done David, had me convinced he should run for his life, I hope his fortunes improved, another excellent story my friend :)

[David Scott]

Now that was unexpected. Ha! Funny how we come to expect tragedy...
It's a great reminder not to take life so seriously all the time.
Fun read.

[Valentine]

You really had me fooled on this ditty. After that skull scare i would have lost my appetite too. Valentine

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha! not feeling very hungry me self sir! another great read ... a few places i stumbled a bit over the rhyming and rhythm ..i got to used to your perfection at it .. perhaps its just me and not quite awake yet ..great story as always ..very enjoyable read
E.
ps .. love your ruddy English sir!! adds so much color

[Satan]

I let out a big sigh of relief for you David. I welcome a dark tale with a pleasant ending.