Sweet Death

a set of thoughts wirtten out in bitterness

 

Lovers leaf kissed my wrist

The noose caressed my neck

Feet dangling above too much air

No tears will come, to far gone for that

My soul had already surrendered all I had to do was convince my body and my sanity to let go

No more oxygen

 The world a pinprick in the darkness

 Then I am gone never to return

No angels wings for me

 No good catholic burial

Don’t you wish you hadn’t ignored me now?

Reviews

[The Dark Passenger]

hi, thanks for your submission to my contest "hearts are meant for breaking". I've read a couple of your works so far and you seriously have some fantastic ideas- I think you might just have to work on the aesthetics of your piece and the way in which you convey your ideas through words.
You have all these gorgeous imaggery and deep, captivating emotion- but unfortunately it's hidden behind a words that sound a little forced. I think if you work on not thinking through the words too much, your poems will flow much better.
Definitely something special here though- keep writing :)