Tammy the Turtle

Tammy the Turtle learns an important lesson about sharing.

Tammy the Turtle was a grumpy old turtle who lived at the edge of the pond, all alone in a fallen log. The other forest animals kept out of her way. But behind her back, they whispered about Mean Old Tammy, and how she never shared.

            One day, Tammy the Turtle was eating some delicious fresh grass that was growing by her log. There was so much yummy grass that she had no chance of finishing it herself. While she was eating, Marvin the Muskrat approached her meekly.

            “Could I have some tasty grass, Tammy?” he asked.

            “Get the hell out of here,” Tammy said, her mouth full. And Marvin the Muskrat slunk away.

            Later that day, Tammy was sunning herself on a big flat rock by the shore. It was so big that there was plenty of room to spare. Frida the Frog hopped up to her.

            “Ribbit!” she said. “Tammy, could I share your rock?”

            “No. Seriously, look around - there are tons of other rocks out there to choose from. This one’s mine. And it isn’t even the best one. What’s up with all you guys today?”

            So Frida left sadly as Tammy continued to lie there, smiling to herself.

            When the sun began to set, Tammy found a bush laden with fresh blackberries. Greedily, she began to gorge herself. As she did, Billy the Black Bear approached her.

            “Tammy, it’s almost time for me to hibernate. Could you share some of those delicious berries?”

            Tammy the Turtle looked around incredulously. “You’re… you’re serious? We’re standing in a whole field of berry bushes! Go find another one.”

            “I just want a few berries,” Billy repeated sheepishly.

            “What in the hell is going on today? Everybody’s been talking to me like I’m hogging every food source and rock in existence. Just this morning some rat-lookin’ thing came up to me and asked permission to eat grass, like I owned all the grass in the forest or something. And then a frog - ”

            Tammy stopped cold.

            “Oh God,” she said. “That’s it. The simplistic vocabulary. The alliterated names. The heavy-handed morals. I - I’m in a children’s story, aren’t I?”

            “Please, Tammy, I’m so hungry,” Billy the Black Bear interjected.

            “No, No! You, shut up. I have to get out of here. It’s some kind of parable about not being selfish and something awful is going to happen to me.” She tried to move, but she was tired from eating all that grass and berries and lying in the sun. Her body felt too sluggish and heavy. Maybe if she’d shared, she could have moved.

            “No!” Tammy started to panic. She looked around the forest in dread.

            “At least I can go down fighting,” she gasped. “Kids!” she screamed addressing the audience. “Dreams don’t come true and the world is not fair! Magic isn’t real! Santa Claus - ”

            But then a big hawk swooped down and picked her up to eat.

            That’s what happens when you’re greedy like Tammy the Turtle.

Reviews

[Jessie]

This is fantastic. Totally caught me out.
I have literally no constructive feedback.

[Blu]

I understand the moral of the story but I didn't really enjoy the structure. Maybe it would read better if it were more like a poem. How about a haiku?

[Delmar Cooper]

Instant replay on the space opera ( "a self aware tale" - I baptized the writing type while you were away. Hope you don't mind.) Agree with Hanna about "cute" Saw Hanna's photo and to paraphrase Mick Dundee "Now that's cute.", so if the sine qua non of cuteitude thinks so who am I to quibble?

[H L Rose]

Okay, that’s cute😆(in a sad, dark kind of way😬). Gave me a good laugh.
I don’t know much about comedy so I don’t have too much constructive criticism to offer, but I can point out that you might want to add “so” in the beginning where it says “there was much grass”.
I loved it, and glad I got to read it!

[Devon Bagley]

Oh, geez, thanks. I proofread these things about three times and yet still miss things like that.

[H L Rose]

Oh don’t worry, I do the samething. Plus my horrible grammar tends to make my stories illegible, so you’re way ahead of me.