A winter day in May

A winter day in May

I am going where the stars are falling.
Come and look for me where the fire is burning.
If I am not there, search for me where the ashes are blowing.
Please, come only if you've got your diamond heart with you,
Otherwise I prefer to be just with me, myself and I.
It's not just because your eyes are not blue love anymore,
It's because I have been staring at you for too long and my stomach it's so sore.
I thought you were an angel. You have wings but you don't know how to fly.
I puked words of love for you without knowing why.
We had such a beautiful day, we laughed and played in the sun.
I had forgotten that a day is just another day,
You were drawing dreams with your fingers through the clouds,
I looked at you still as if I was made of clay.
I should have just kissed your sour apple and let you die!
You made me forget my own name but I didn't cry.
I stood in the middle of your weak roots looking for pleasure and a shelter.
You are the queen of cinnamon, am I the prisoner waiting to be executed?
I heard your plea so many times, I should have known it was a lie.
Your mouth is a drum and you know how to play it very loud.
You stoned my ears. Can you see? It's mine that blood on the ground.
The happiest day you ever had, is the same for me,
Even when I had been in love before,
When I was so young and I was so high.
You asked me if I could see you, are you worried I am blind?
I can still see you very well even if you turned yourself into a ghost.
You taste like smoke to me now, you are poison.
I lost myself through the lines of a romance, through the features of a face.
I will dance on my own, the music of your flamenco it's too much for my soul.
There is a beautiful world there outside this skin.
I am waiting for you to fade away like the foam on a wave,
Like I did when I was a kid staring at the sea.
Peter pan holds the bottle to the air one more time,
I believed it, I am honest, I thought I had quit.
I was confident with me inside, " Life is just a ride"
But, I am only the drunk jokie of my illusioned pride.
I swirled like a paint brush on the plastic of a doll.
The colours are all blured, I thought they were dried.
You told me you were waiting for the sun to shine,
Now that the light is so bright,
Why are you still there in your hole?
If you might knock on my door, I will probably let you in,
I have done it before with so many fools,
I don't really see the problem with you but,
Once you will be on the door, will you recognize me?
I helped you to go up the hill, your climb was mine.
Now, that the climb is heavier than ever,
Why did you leave me on my own.
You needed time to clean your mind, I left you doing so.
I need time to clean mine now, which is dusty like an old library's bookshelf.
Memories are not easy to wipe off like chalk is on school's blackboards.
I am looking for the nightmare to which I sold my world,
I will look for it until this trash turns into gold.
What you have been seeing on me it was not a smile.
It was just a scar on my face to get through the social frontline.
My brother died even before he had come to shape,
In the same utero where I had survived three years before.
It's the law of nature, I let the river flow, it's mine!
I made it with my own tears,
I made it with all of the tears I have poured.
My missed brother like everyone I cried and lived for are streams on my sides,
And a I let the river flow.
After these long and unplanned six years of my life,
I know what the kings and queens of England made their people die for,
Green fields, watery milk and mirages from malted barley plateaus.
I dreamt to be an emperor, I woke up, I am just a slave.
There is a pain in my neck and it won't go away.
You might wonder why my words are so cold.
It's still winter in May,
It's the bitterness of growing old.