Thinner

A starving young girl

With a size 4 waist

No one had a clue

No one had a taste

In her long, empty mind

She realized she was gone

Maybe no one could understand

Maybe nothing was really wrong

No, she was sane and well

After all, no one can be underweight

At one hundred twenty pounds

Maybe sickness was her fate

She kept withering away

In the quietest way she could

But this thing was here to stay

And to stay it always would

Reviews

[A. V. Madison]

This really hit home. My friend Erin recently lost her 4 year struggle with anorexia. It lovkrd her up in a cage and she rotted away, desolate and misundrstood. I battled anorexia too, and this had my crying. Not many things make me cry. But you packed enough raw emotion to make me. And I applaud you for that, because this poem is exuberantly wonderful. I rate it 100/100.

[Lauren]

Words cannot say how sorry I am about your friend; it's a cruel thing, and unfortunately not everyone can get out from it alive.
You say "battled" which sounds like you're hopefully recovered now, so that's wonderful.

Thank you lovely

[Nessie_AJ]

This is so well done! Not only is it telling a story and also exposing the sadness of an eating disorder, but it is also exposing the harsh truth that an eating disorder never really go away, and it's always there in the back of your mind! Awesome piece! You should read my story When Eating Becomes an Obsession and my Ch 1 for my novel Secrets!

[Lauren]

Haha oh this is an oldie :)) Thank you so much!
And yes I will definitely check those out

[Nessie_AJ]

thanks! that would mean a lot!

[Alani]

Last year I read up on anorexia etc... because I once suffered from bulimia, I wanted to know how other girls felt.
This poem tells the story well.

[Lauren]

I'm sorry you went through that. any ED is a terrible one.
And thank you!

[David Scott]

I worked on an in-hospital eating disorder unit between college and graduate school.
I understand this well.
You do a great job of shining a light on this subject.
The feelings may never change, but the behavior can. There is hope while there is life.

[Lauren]

The feelings really never do change...
Thank you so much!

[Fenix Flight]

I battled with anorexia when I was 12-15. Its a hard hard battle to fight. But with the right support and understanding I pulled through. This poem made me tear up. It shows the Harshness of it. Well done. thank you for sharing

[Lauren]

I'm so glad you were able to get through it! I was as well almost 2 years later :) thank you again!

[Fenix Flight]

I'm glad you are getting stronger as well :-D

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem. Was a great singer Karen Carpenter. She died from not eating. This is a big problem. The media make goal of perfect beauty impossible. I like how you wrote the poem and led to the sad ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lauren]

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Meliss@k]

I think that all poetry is from the heart, and when I read this I didn't have a single thing that I'd tell you to change because you wrote everything for a reason, to explain a thought, to give the emotion of what you were feeling, in order to put it all down on paper and have it be understood by others as well.
Great job.
If you think your poetry is "how you want it", then don't ever change it, even when others might be telling you to. :)
Great write although the truth and reality of anorexia is quite a touchy and rough subject.

[Lauren]

It really is.
Thank you.:)

[Meliss@k]

You're so very welcome :)

[Ees]

hmmmm...
I feel like something is missing. I think that it is well written, but that it might need some more definition.
The last two lines are quite powerful. They apply to several, ehhh, illnesses of the mind, so to speak, in my experience. Some things never do go away.

If I were you I might think about the second line, putting a solid number of the young girl leaves so much room for interoperation. I just keep thinking- I'm a size four and I've been called fat.... do you know what I mean? I feel like by giving the actual number you distract from what you are trying to say.

Good job.