Breathless

From time to time
in weary winter,
I just don't feel right...
Despite the beauty in me,
demons lay by my side.
I harbor secret hopes
that left me hanging
as I go to war in silence.
This darkness
lives inside my heart.
If anyone ever reads me,
the countless truths
will leave you breathless.

Reviews

[Mr. Lopez]

I agree with Carolyn that this write is very relatable. I liked the line "as I go to war in silence " because it perfectly discribes the everyday battle of waking to face the world while fighting your own personal inner battles,barely able to face yourself. Sometimes with these kinds of writes shorter is better( as you've done here ) because it's been my own personal experience that your readers will tire of the ongoing droning of depression. But I think you did a wonderful job of keeping it short yet powerfully expressive. I thought that it was well done.

[Carolynn]

We all have silent wars we rage against ourselves - this is very raw and very relatable - nicely done :)

[Nwang]

Poetry from the dark side is always an enjoyable read. Loved your poem. Thanks for sharing :)

[unfathomd]

We all have dark sides. We put on a mask and pretend as though things are going our own way. The truth is sometimes darker than the darkest. I'm able to relate xD lol .. Im dark !! xD Amazing write :)

[An owl on the moon]

You journey us so deeply into this divine place in you, this world that is both at peace and that carries your pain across the winter seasons of life. So soft are your words, yet so rich and revealing.

[LapseOfMind]

I think that so many of us feel the same as you. Thank you for writing this, very nicely done and wonderfully transparent.

[Karmee]

This darkness
lives inside my heart.
If anyone ever reads me,
the countless truths
will leave you breathless.

AWESOME once again, throughly enjoyed this write,
You have talent, keep writing always.