My Greatest Mistake

This is for someone that means everything to me. I have been waiting forever to actually say this since I've been holding myself back for a while, so I'll give it a shot....

I honestly have no idea how to even begin this

The tempest in my chest is burning through my skin

My heart feels numb as sonic-like beats overpower my hands

And they won't stop shaking

 

I'm scared of myself

Scared that one day I'll find scars and blood on my chest

That the pain will finally take me away from life

And the love I can't stop feeling for you will go away

 

I don't want to say this

I wish I could abandon the ideals of my heart

But it has grown too much

And I must tell you what you truly mean to me

 

Ever since we met

The sight of you has made my heart leap into action

Your voice, your words, your actions

They made me feel like something greater than myself

 

I've hidden myself for too long

I may be making a mistake

But this is what I have to say

 

I'm the one who sat alone

Pretending to play Call Of Duty

As you told your girlfriend how much you loved her

And she would respond with "I love you too."

 

My heart would shatter whenever I heard it

I desire your happiness more than anything

But I still wish I was the one in your arms

 

I'm the one who wishes for your life to be perfect

For everything to go just right

Even if I have to throw mine away

And give you everything

 

I'm the one who stood behind the shadows beside you

Watching you with my hidden smile

Basking in the glory of being able to see you smile

 

I am the one who couldn't stop crying

Sitting alone at night with nothing for comfort

But only the memories of the friendship we share

With the guilt and fear that I feel

The guilt and fear that fuels the tears I can never stop shedding

 

I am the one who feels accepted when I talk to you

Cause your words soothe my dying heart

 

I could go on forever about how you make me feel

On how your personality makes me feel like a king

And on how being able to see you makes my heart tick for just a little longer

 

But it's pointless

 

It's pointless in the sense that the love I have

Will never be able to burn between the both of us

And that I am too afraid to tell you how I feel

 

Maybe it's just the fear talking

Maybe I'm making the greatest mistake of my life

But I can't help but feel these emotions

 

You have always told me to be true to myself

And I am

I'm not saying everything I can say

But it's the best I got

I've made the greatest mistake

In holding everything in

 

A lone human with a heartache can only write for so long

Before his heart gives out and the tears form

 

So in the end

I can't ask anything of you

But I can only ask myself

Can I ever let go of this love?

 

Author's Note

I wish life wasn't so difficult when it comes to love, but it is...

Reviews

[N!LoC]

:-(

[Marasu4L]

you enrich your words with so much emotion I can feel it drip off like rain on a bald man's head. XD on a more serious note, you are quick to make your point. I personally enjoy people's work better when they don't beat around the bush.

[yourhaircutman]

This has so much emotion in it! My favorite piece of yours thus far.

[Noah]

This is heart-wrenching and so well done. It is a truth that far too many people live by. I know this feeling all too well.

[Cathy Wattam]

Wow, what a heartfelt piece of writing! Such emotion here I could feel it bursting out of you. Whether or not you actually said it, it's so good to get it down on paper (or computer screen) as it helps us to move on by expressing what we've held in. Love brings out the best and worst in us and does make life difficult and glorious, sometimes at the same time. I think your writing is good and I know your heart will go on.........

[Heather]

this is such an inspirational piece.. i really like it!! tell this to the person you really like!! they will enjoy it.. amazingg that it brought me to tears