13 Reasons Why Monologue : Hannah's Perspective

Hannah: What’s a girl to do to get some freaking respect around here? Ever since the day I moved to this town, no one has had any respect for me. No one at all! Even my so-called “friends” turned their backs on me when the rumors started. I trust no one. No one at all. Who am I to trust? Backs are stabbed and heads are turned when the “he-said-she-said” starts. No one stands up for anyone, and even if they do, it’s all in mockery. These people are so fake! I could see that the first day. The smiles, the laughter, the secrets. It’s all fake. When these people smile, they’re really ripping themselves apart. When they laugh, they’re thinking about a way to destroy someone’s reputation. When they tell secrets, they actually want the story to get out. We live in a backwards world, where it’s opposite day every day of the year whether you realize it or not. I don’t think I can stand this anymore. It takes too much brain power, too much physical energy to cope with all the reverse lies and exaggerations. They tell them in such a way that it makes you think they’re true! They never are. Just remember that when you tell someone what you heard about so-and-so at that party last weekend. Odds are, she wasn’t even at that party. Odds are, even if she was, she didn’t want to be there and sat in the corner crying all night. Odds are, you’re her best friend. Yeah, you heard me right. Here, relationships don’t matter. It’s survival of the fittest and people will do anything, ANYTHING, to be the most popular kid in school. Even if that means stabbing everyone you care about in the back. Right where it hurts the most.

Why did I get caught up in all this crap? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I not know the answers to these questions? You’d think I’d at least have some idea as to what I did. But I don’t. Not a clue. I can’t stop them. Trust me, I’ve tried. Trust. There’s that word again. What does it mean, really? Trust. Trust. What do you think it means? Because every time I’ve trusted someone, it’s been a huge mistake. It always resulted in rumors that everyone was positive were 100% true, when really, about 99.99% was false. That’s how rumors work. I should know. They take a small piece of truth, make it into a huge ordeal, then exaggerate so big that it’s out of this world. Then it spreads like wildfire. Rumors just scream, “There’s plenty for everyone! Everyone should join in! Tell everyone you know!” And that’s what happens. Before you know it, you’ve even got teachers asking you if everything they hear about you is true, but even if you say no, they assume it is. Sometimes I think they’re the stupidest ones of all. Why believe something you heard off-hand when the source tells you it’s false? It just doesn’t make any sense!

Seriously! What did I do? Can someone tell me? Please? I’m desperate. I’m lost. Wow. And now I’ve resorted to begging. It takes all of me to keep from falling on my face and just letting myself get trampled on. It’d be so much easier than fighting this hostile crowd. This angry mob, if you will. Because that’s what it is. A mob. A raging, rabid crowd full of murders hiding behind masks of make-up and acne cream. That’s what I live with every day. But not for long. Soon, it will all be over. Maybe I’ve finally cracked, but if I keep trying to live with all of this crap, they’ll kill me. I think it’s better if I kill myself. I know that’s horrible to say, but still! Tell me you see my logic! There is logic in that, right? RIGHT?! There has to be… There just has to be! Is this a sign that I’m completely and utterly insane? Maybe I should be sent to an insane asylum before I harm anyone other than myself. But maybe I’m completely sane! Maybe everyone else is just crazy! That’s something a crazy person would say, isn’t it? Does anyone know? I sure don’t. I’m finally cracking.

I promise it’s from all the whispers as I walk through the halls. I try to keep my head down and walk as quickly as I can, but I get people who either bump in to me on “accident” or people who avoid me altogether, leaving as much space between me and them like I have some kind of disease. All because someone decided to make a simple kiss into something way more damaging to your high school career. Was it revenge, or just because they thought it would be fun to pick on the new girl? I guess I’ll never know. I have the tape recorder all ready. I’m going to do it. I’m going to record these thirteen tapes as to why I’m going to commit suicide. I’m going to do it. I have to, unless… Unless what? I don’t know, but I’m doing it! I have to, and that’s that. Don’t try to talk me out of it, because I’ve made up my mind! Or have I? Just don’t try to persuade me otherwise. I don’t know what kind of mental breakdown that will cause. Probably a life-threatening one, so I’ll die either way. I doubt anyone will ever try to stop me anyways. I bet everyone will be happy when I’m gone, so happy that they’ll all skip school like they did the day after the football team won the championship. Yeah, that’s what’ll happen. Definitely. So, here’s to making everyone’s day! My hair’s short, I’ve got the tape recorder and the tapes, I’ve got plenty to say. So why am I stalling? Because really, that’s all I’m doing right now. It's stupid. I'm going to do it before anything changes my mind. Maybe that's not smart, but who cares? High school is about being stupid. Right? That what it sure seems like from what I can see.

Reviews

[rachel]

i love this monologue and i was wondering if i could use this for my drama class grade 9 monologue??

[Forget-Me-Not]

This is a monologue from the perspective of Hannah Baker from the book 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I wrote it for a book project, but I love it. Let me know what everyone else thinks!