Eye Found You || A Short Horror Story

Just a quick little spooky story.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are!" Her young, chipper voice called out from just down the hall. Jasmine, my one and only daughter, skipped around the house as she sang softly to herself. I watched as her little bouncing body dashed past me. Her feet pattered along the floor then skidded to a stop. "Found you, Daddy!" 

I looked confused as I stared out the crack in the door of the closet. Her back was to me. How could she possibly know I was in here? I shrugged it off, figuring it was just a little trick of hers. I moved back from the door, holding my breath to stay completely silent. When her giggles quieted down, I looked back through the crack in the door. She was gone. I grinned to myself, victoriously. 

"Daddy...I said I found you!" This time, her voice was behind me. I slowly turned my head and looked to see my daughter, crouched down behind me. My confusion returned. How did she make her way into the closet without coming through the doors? More importantly, where were her eyes?

Author's Note

Any thoughts are accepted. This isn't meant to be much of anything, just a very quick spooky read.

Reviews

[JPDonelan]

I don't know why, but this made me chuckle. Had a nice, creepy ending that, upon further consideration, was a little creepier than at (my) first glance.

That said, I think there is small punctuation error in the dialogue "Daddy.. I said I found you!" - If the periods after "Daddy" are supposed to be a pause, an ellipsis, then one more period is needed and "I" should be right after them without a space.
There might also need to be a comma after "young" in the first line, but I'm drawing a blank on that bit of grammar right now.

Other than those two minor points, the writing is well done. The sentence variation worked well and helped maintain the flow of the piece. Overall, an enjoyable little story.

[Z]

Thank you so much! You actually taught me something new, being the ellipsis! So I do thank you for the feedback and quick little lesson! Glad it could get a chuckle out of you as well.