Feeling So Abandoned

This is a poem me and my sister wrote one night. It's also going to get published in a book and it's going to be in a contest, by the end of this month I shall know if I win or not.

Laying here all alone, no one to rescue me, everyone left me, feeling so abandoned, rain washing my tears as I lay on this mountain looking down at the lovely death I will soon experience, no one to stop me, no one to call my name as I fall, now I jump of this high fall, rain hitting my back, cold wind hitting my front, body feeling numb, wondering... wondering where I will fall, my death has come, now it's time to say good- bye. Rain has stopped, sun is out, eyes opening widely, nor dead, nor alive, but not knowing it yet, walking away from which I have fallen, taking one last glance from where I have jumped, not seeing just the mountain but my body to, now I regret from feeling so abandoned, now I know my time has come, now my soul is here for good until I rest in peace, time has passed, church bells ringing, people gathering to where I will be buried, children wondering, parents crying, oh what have I done for everyone to deserve this? What I have done, has been done, there is no reversing time, as they lower my body into the ground, the angel of death has now came down, my time is finally over, my soul can rest in peace, it is time to say good- bye once again, knowing my family has been abandoned by me.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

well written.. i don't like the thought of your family losing you ... or the subject in your poem.. or that he/she was abandoned by their family.
laying .. maybe should be lying ?
i hope you win!!!
Good luck and good write.

Chloe