Programmed

Aren't we all - to some extent?

P R O G R A M M E D

 

 

 

I know that I shouldn’t, even know I must not.

But I am the end result, of a conditioned response.

 

 Planned to obey and planted by him.

 

 

 

Sex at a young age, creates neural pathways.

No choices are given, freewill is destroyed.

 

Receptive and open, thy will, it be done.

 

 

 

By painstaking rote, disingenuously all.

Life lessons are taught, reflexes the rule.

 

Betraying body responds, to him once again.

 

 

 

Resist if I can, I’m fighting hard to protect,

My sanity miscues, imperfect around him.

 

Fashioned by a predator, but my will is determined.

 

 

From time immemorial, I pray for an ending,

What is love and the difference, to end this confusion.

 

But as my body implies, I am weak all the time.

 

 

 

My mind shouts out loudly, the message implicit

I need to break away, from this life, long in shackles.

 

His end is so near. I’m not certain that I can bear it alone

Reviews

[Renée]

Listening
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[Coyote Poetry]

"Sex at a young age, creates neural pathways.
No choices are given, freewill is destroyed."
No excuse to hurt or abuse a child. People who abuse children need to pay for their crime forever. I had to read the poem a few times. I agree with the above lines. I have known people who were used and abused. They will never really open up freely again. No weakness in the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Gray Witch]

The 'triggers' of sexual desire are 'created' by experience and once they exist they remain, regardless of whether those creating them, do or, do not.... Thus the abuse victim is left with that as a reminder - forever...Thanks for continuing to read what I write and responding!

[Claire Twinn]

A sad portrayal of the long lasting effects of abuse and the desire to escape those feelings.

[Gray Witch]

The dichotomy is the difficult part..On the one hand, as an adult understanding it was an abusive relationship, abhorrence is a natural reaction to memories. However, .... since it was a first love, of sorts, I cannot deny a fear of loss as he ages... I guess I am still 'sick'...(s)

[Jeff]

Haunting piece.

[Ahmad Cox]

Hug. It takes a lot of strength to write such a powerful and honest write