The Breakup

This is dark.

"I brought you here to tell you... well... I'm sorry, I just... I can't be with you anymore."

She stared at him, not comprehending.

"Really, I feel like we just haven't been communicating as well as we used to. I don't know if it's you, or if I've grown distant... but I don't think we can fix this, you know?" He paced back and forth in front of her in the small room. "I mean, sure, we had some great times and man, you are good in bed, you know that, hon, but I just... the spark isn't there anymore when we just hang out or whatever."

He stopped to look at her, noticing the tears in her eyes. "Aw, babe, don't cry." He tried to brush her tears away but she shied away from his touch. His eyes grew sad. "It'll be okay, it's not the end of the world. I'm sorry it has to end like this but it's really for the best."

He went back to pacing the room. Back and forth, back and forth. "And it's not like we would have gotten married, had kids... it was just a bit of fun, you know? We both knew that from the start, right?" He stopped, suddenly, his back turned. "And... we both know how much I hate loose ends. I can't leave my past behind. I have to get rid of it completely. So you understand... right?"

He picked something up from a table and she started screaming against the duct tape that was covering her mouth. He turned around, knife in hand, and she struggled against the ropes. It was no use. They were firmly tied and she could do nothing as he closed the short distance. "I'm sorry, I really am." he whispered as he hugged her close and thrust the knife into her stomach.

Reviews

[wearejareth]

i agree that it would read better with expansion, but i love your endings and that the story gets to the point with its words

[Hexan]

Thank you!

[SRMarx]

A story like this would benefit from some expansion. I feel like the ending would have had more of an impact if I knew the characters more and had a chance to get to know and like them.

[Hexan]

That's a really good point! I need to do more of that in my short stories, developing the characters and making them more accessible to the readers. Thank you! I won't edit this one but I'll keep it in mind for future stories for sure.

[Samuel Dickens]

Well, that's a rather drastic way of ending a relationship. All very good writing, error-free as far as I can tell.

[Hexan]

Thank you!