Wild-child

Wild-child

A Poem by Relic



Image result for Surrealism Art Girl












Laura girl~Baby-girl~
you're only eight months old~
I hope this crib can hold you in,
You're acting too darn bold!

Laura girl~Child-girl~
what are you up to now?
That riotous mood you're showing off
ain't good for you no-how.

Laura girl~Teenage-girl~
tell me where you've been? 
Hiding out with troubled boys 
Will lead to years of sin. 

Laura girl~Troubled-girl~
no wonder you're in jail~
Ingesting all those harmful drugs 
Has left you sick and frail.

Laura girl~Tragic-girl~
the police were at our door~
That car crash robbed your precious life~
a beer was on the floor!

Laura girl~Silent-girl~
you look like you're asleep
your casket's shine reflects my face
and all I do is weep.

Laura girl~Angel girl~
we're sending you our love~
Our broken hearts can only pray
you're somewhere up above.

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© 2017 Relic



Author's Note

 Relic
Note to self: Poem was revised on 7/27/15.

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Reviews

This is what I refer to as "poetry with a pulse". Such a heartache, but very well versed, Tim!

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

Thanks very much Kelly. :)
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MCS
Very nice write...
Here's hoping for a different ending

Posted 1 Year Ago


Awwwww!!!! This poem is beautiful and he end nearly made me cry. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

I'm glad you liked it, thank you. :)
Raven Moonchild

1 Year Ago

And thank you for sharing. :)
A sad progression. I wonder what could've changed it.

The concept is unique and powerful.

I would encourage you to look at 'cops' and 'looks so nice' to tighten up the writing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shannon

1 Year Ago

I agree with you. I rather like your choice.
 Relic

1 Year Ago

Okay, good. Thanks for telling me. :)
Shannon

1 Year Ago

I'm big on constructive reviews, especially for people I know are interested.
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Gee
A life lived and lost, so very well told. How many parents of kids, both sexes, would be able to relate. Countless says I

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

I'm sure you're right Gee, thank you.
I've known many "Laura's"... and viewed the endings..
wondering what happened..in between .

Sad truth..................

Jazzy

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

Thank you Jazzy. :)
J. J.  Nightingale

1 Year Ago

You are welcome.... well done !!!!!
oh how very sad...I love the way you wrote, flowed beautifully :) x

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

Thank you Raven. :) x
a few stanzas in my heart stumbled, and i said, oh no, oh no

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

Thanks so much for reading Ed. :)
So much of a life in your words here, that you sum up perfectly, such simple twists of fate that shape and mould us into everything we become. Although a beautiful epitaph, the emotions behind the words show that the tale was all too brief and that the life cut short could have been so much more. Superbly captured.

Posted 1 Year Ago


 Relic

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much Nemo.
very natural...and such a tragic tale....fate? or did she steer herself in that direction?

always a question we ponder under such circumstances.

the progression is fantastic in this piece.

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

This is an old one that's been re-worked several times. Thank you.

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Stats

1201 Views
38 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2012
Last Updated on November 20, 2017
Tags: Baby, teenage, adult, trouble
Previous Versions


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