A Beautiful Mess

A Story by everly04

She's always this clumsy. Always. You know, there were times, she could just sober up and learn from her mistakes and could get back on her feet, but she just wouldn't. She never learns from her mistakes, even making'em dozens or tons.Because this is she.Learning is not her thing. She is bad at pretending, predicting. She can't drive her emotions likely to her thoughts.She can't sleep because her unexpressed emotions are buried alive and those bug her all night.

And she does not understand the word "extra-ordinary". is that an extension to ordinary or too much ordinary that becomes special itself? She does not fit in a crowd.She's in the middle yet, she's outside.

She's insecure of every little thing. her hair, her smile, those

not always go in a natural way. she feels insecure putting

her hair down or even smile, showing her teeth off at

times.because she knows,she has

flaws,lot of'em and god has not sharpen her nose nor blessed her with perfect breasts.

At times, she feels unattractive, useless and unloved.But her life randomly goes on, those unimportant feelings get all smashed up within the days of her lives.

You know what's really powerfully sexy? ...A woman who realizes how beautiful she is.

Courtney E. Martin.

She's a dreamer, a wanderer.a doer? ...maybe. she thinks about the universe and life's and stuffs while in the shower.She hides her weirdness through her silence. She hides her pain through her smile. She does not know how to make small talks to complete strangers. because she is shy.

She does not preferably know how to react when someone's saying good things about her, because that makes her even more shy, so she just listens to that so awkwardly, without a word.

And often she cries looking at the mirror, she feels pity herself, how can one person hurt this innocent looking face, with tears all over it? how?

“One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was

sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.”

― Ilona Andrews,On the Edge

you will feel no spark in her tiresome eyes,no mystery in her

childish smile and no lust in her stories.Because you don't try to get to know her. You don't know how courageous she can get when she's willing to.You lost her the day you judged her. And you don't even know you've lost her. Her existence is soulless to you.

And some day, you'd look her in the eye, because you can't but help dumping the curiosity that how's she been doing...and that would take you by surprise because she's doing way better than you think she would.

She's like a box of chocolate.You'll never know what you're gonna get.

Nobody ever sees the face she wakes up to, or after a soothing bath, how she glows.Nobody but God.

She's a beautiful mess.