Its June 23 around 10 ish or so in the morning on Saturday I receive a call from my grandma, which was actually quite odd, I mean she calls me from time to time but its never to have a conversation; she calls me for a school picture or anything recent I can send her so she remembers my face I guess. This time she calls inviting me to a birthday party that my uncle was throwing for her. Didn't sound amusing, I haven't talked to my uncle since I was about 7 and now I'm 19 and I have to go over to his house and hold a conversation with him and my druggie cousins who I haven't hung out with since I was 5. I've seen my cousins around school but I try my hardest to avoid them. Yeah I'll pass. I told her I was working and couldn't attend, but that didn't go as planned she started crying on the phone telling me that her doctor had told her that she wouldn't have much time left and that all she wanted for her birthday was me. I knew my grandma loved me very much, I mean besides the fact that I wasn't a piece of s**t who mooched off her, I was the only thing that reminded her of my mom who passed away when I was 5. I remember her telling me when I was about 6 which is also the last time I seen her, was that I resembled my mother so much when she was a kid. Back then I was really sad not being able to see my grandmother any more. She was off her meds and honestly quite dangerous to both herself and those around her. I gave in and told her that I'd be there. I know I'd hate myself later on but I didn't really have anything better to do I just didn't want to awkwardly sit at a strangers house for a couple hours until I can politely leave and never see them again. For the next 3 hours before the party I decided to shower, get ready and watch a little t.v.. I wanted to go to the party as soon as possible. The sooner I show up the sooner I can leave. At around 1- 1:30 ish I end up leaving the house to the party while the whole time I kept regretting even agreeing to go. By the time I get to the house there's a whole street full of cars lined up. So much for arriving early. Everyone who I wanted to avoid is probably already sitting inside taking up every god forsaking seat leaving me to stand against the wall or walk throughout the house to find a place to hide so I won't have to talk to anyone. After finding a parking spot and sitting in my car for an hour or at least it felt that long I get out and walk up the drive way. First thing that hits me as I walk through the front door is a cloud of smoke along with my uncle bursting through some s****y happy birthday decorations that seem to have been used at the last like 20 parties, all torn and wrinkled. "Hey you made it" he said with a shocked but still excited look on his face. Is he actually happy I'm here or does he need something from me? He shows me to the living room packed with what seemed to be about 30 or so people crowded around a s****y boxed t.v. laughing to some stand up comedian that I can't really put my finger on his name. My uncle announces my name and everyone turns to look at me, some surprised and others with a really... really irritated face as if I s**t on their shoes or whatever these people are fascinated with. Couldn't care less what interested them. After a awkward hello and a hand wave I'm walked to the kitchen where the birthday girl surrounded by a few other elderly ladies sat. She wells up with tears and I tell her happy birthday and give her a hug. The rest of that hour was spent with pinched cheeks and questions asked from people who I guess were related to me. I mean how the f**k am I supposed to know were related, ever since I can remember I've never met you, but yet you can sit there and get mad at me because I've never visited or tried contacting you. I didn't know you existed until now and honestly I could have gone my whole life without knowing who you are, thats how much you actually mean to me. Harsh I know but its true. The food wasn't great either but I was starving, I worked a late shift last night so I haven't eaten since yesterday. I was ready to go so I went looking for my uncle to let him know I work tonight and have to cut out early. Obviously a lie but I couldn't stand it there. Found him rolling up a blunt in the backyard with what looked like his friends, not one of them paid much attention to me as I passed by them to talk to mu uncle. I let him know I was heading out and before I can thank him for inviting me he interrupts me to tell me that they were going to do the cake soon so to stay for another half hour. As much as I wanted to leave, how bad could another 30 minutes be, so I grabbed a beer handed to me and tried to relax and pretend I was having a blast. Finally after what felt like an hour passes, I'm really feeling the alcohol now. Beers and liquor aren't the best in such a short time. Everyone who is still at the party head inside and gather around a small square table in the kitchen, ready to sing Happy Birthday. My vision is a little blurry and I'm wobbling a bit. "How am I ever going to make it home" I tell myself as I stand behind the birthday girl. Everyone starts to sing, voices seem to be getting farther away. The brightly frosted cake that blinded me a second ago, starts to escape my sight and eventually everything goes black.... I'm freezing now.... I feel nothing but pain.... why am I in the bathroom.... why cant I hear anyone, did they all leave.... how long have I been out for... I'm in a tub... a tub covered in red.... I cant move, it hurts.... the door to the bathroom creaks open but nobody's entering. What I saw next made me want to scream but nothing came out. What I saw was me..... well what looked like to be me. Still sitting in her chair was my grandmother smiling.... wearing.... my skin. My uncle cuts my sight of her short as he steps into the bathroom. "You should have came to visit her more, she really missed you" he says as he shuts the light off and shuts the door to my... last... breathe.
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