The Birth of Nightmares

A legend from when the earth was young and innocent...

Birth of Nightmares

Once, there was a time when darkness, nightmares, monsters and everything of the sort were unknown to the world. The world was a peaceful place, one in light. This innocence was due to a ritual which graced every new born with immunity to the darkness. Thus the darkness lurked behind the impenetrable veil which kept he nightmares at bay, waiting for an opportunity when it could shatter the light, and finally set fear into the world.

 

Nightmares lured around every dream, every night, seeking a way in. Then, a pair of twin-boys was born. As was the case with all the new-borns, the darkness couldn’t reach them since the children were far too small to understand its nature. Nevertheless the shadows played with them like a curious dog would play with a kitten in their dreams whenever the children would sleep while they still could. The twins would remain pure and, for now, they could not be tainted. However, when the big day for their ceremony finally came, something happened…

 

Of course it was a happy day. The boys were the core of the attention that day. Dressed in a white costume, their father carried them up to a stone alter at eh end of the long carpet. Their mother waited there with a proud smile on her face. Next to her stood the priest with his simple robe, citing a verse from his holy book of light.

The shadows watched the ceremony through a magical water basin, as they couldn’t enter the world. Soon these twins would be out of their reach, even in their dreams.

The children watched the room in wonder and when their father stood before the alter with them, everybody rose up and joined the priest in a hymn. After the first verse, the mother took the children and gently put them in a cradle which had been placed behind the alter for the occasion. Then she returned to stand by her husband’s side and listened to the old priest as he spoke of the bright future that awaited the boys.

The monsters that had gathered around the basin hissed and recoiled as the blessed water was pored over the alter by the parents on the priest’s command.  Some even left when a golden symbol blazed up in a gentle light shortly thereafter.

The priest lifted up one of the twins and the other boy started to cry when he found that his brother wasn’t by his side anymore. The mother cast a tortured glance at the cradle but did her best to ignore it. The ritual demanded her to play her part. She glanced down at the pale braid of twined silk in her hand. The other twin was placed on the cold alter, the mother approached and lay the braid over him and slowly returned to her husband, who held an identical braid for the other twin. The priest uttered the spell and the alter suddenly bathed in a peaceful light.

 

After a few minutes the baby was returned to the cradle and his crying brother. As the priest turned to the audience to say a few words, a strong wind burst open the half closed doors to the monetary. The candles that had been lit at the very start of the ceremony went out. The mischievous wind made a twirl above the cradle, moving the braided silk to make a beautiful twist before it settled down between the brothers, rather than on the blessed child. The priest and his acolytes a hurried to re-lit the candles. The parents helped best they could, but there was many candles to lit up. For a few minutes the twins were left to their own device. The twin that had been crying stopped screaming and mustered enough strength in his little body to roll over on his stomach, where he found an interesting piece of rope. He grabbed it in a firm grip and flung it around as children tend to do sometimes.

However, just as the wind had made one twin stop crying, it made the other start crying. The wind had been slightly too harsh for the little one’s eyes. The switch had happened simultaneously so no one noticed it.

When the priest returned to the cradle to proceed with the blessing, he picked up the crying boy.

The Darkness smirked as it realised what just had happened. Its time had finally come.

 

The twins grew up. The boy who was robbed of his blessing was always surrounded with dark shade no one seemed to see. Obscure creatures haunted his dreams, voices called his name when he was awake. For every step he took, darkness was not far behind, whispering secrets and tales of adventure. The monsters didn’t try to scare the boy. He was too valuable for them to lose him, hence they were never a threat to his life. In fact, whenever they could they helped the boy and his brother, which often got them into trouble.

Although all this was strange and alien to the boy, he was unafraid of it all. Fear for dreams and shadows was a concept that had yet to introduced to the world, as was so much else regarding the obscure night that stalked the boy. Thus, the boy was unable tell anyone about the strangeness of these creatures. There were simply not any words for them. Only his brother could understand some of what he felt, as they did not needed words to understand each other.

 

The shadows carefully shaped their hope throughout the years and guarded the twins jealously. The twins grew up to strong, healthy lads capable enough to manage on their own. Then came the day when they decided that they were old enough to travel the world, like in the tales the shadows had showed the cursed boy when he was young. They travelled far to the east and through the nameless caves, further to the south to cross the dessert, west and north. Everywhere they went, the darkness begun to grow in form in the unblessed boy. He could not explain the sensation inside him, could not recognize it, so he kept it secret. During the night, darkness whispered promises of power in his ear. They showed him their world in his dreams. It wasn’t just stories anymore, but a reality. For the first time he caught a small glimpse of its true nature which had until now had been a blurry mist for his eyes. Rather than being filled with fear, the boy loved it.

 

Then the fateful day came. The twins entered a grand city, not unlike other big cities they had visited. Still their eyes sparkled with wonder as they walked along the streets. As they walked they talked about the places they had seen, until someone suddenly grabbed their shoulders and brought them to a halt. The man who had stopped them was a big fellow, red hair and a broad grin. He had overheard their conversation and wished to hear more of their stories. The blessed boy smiled innocently and invited the man to the pub with them, but shadows whispered lies in his twin’s ear about the man. Suspicion grew and seeds of black mistrust entered for the first time a heart.

The man was delighted to hear of their adventures. They talked long into the night and the man was kind enough to ensure their ale tanks were never empty. Then, just before the twins decided to go to sleep, the blessed boy bragged about his skills in a fight. His brother had never seen anyone be his equal in a sword fight and wholeheartedly vouched for the claim to be true.

The man just smirked and proposed a bet. Tomorrow morning they would have a duel in the town centre. The winner got all the money the other party happened to have. Without a second thought of it, the twins accepted.

 

The next day there was a big crowd waiting for them. They were excited to show their skills, but that didn’t help their massive hangover to disappear. The man who had challenged them seemed just fine and he grinned happily at them.

The shadows swirled around the boy’s mind. He had tricked them!

Anger grew in his heart, but he still believed his brother would win. He warned caution but kept his thoughts to himself. The blessed boy massaged his tinning and studied his opponent. The mischievous darkness faded unseeingly around the boy. This fight the boy would have to fight alone.

The cursed boy didn’t see it. He didn’t know that their unmatched skills were due to the darkness that guarded them. Hence the twins were both so sure they would win. The chock when the blessed boy lost was great. Not only that, he was utterly outmatched!

The man called their stories exaggerations, but gave the blessed twin the compliment of a promising swordplay. The crowd sheered and laughed, not at all surprised at the outcome. The cursed boy heard the mocking whispered about them and how foolish they had been to challenge one of the finest warriors in city.

The boy watched in pain as his brother slowly rose up again. The blessed boy laughed with the crowed and thanked the captain for a valuable lesson, but the embarrassment had hit him hard. The cursed boy clutched his teeth and found his hands on the hilt of his sword when the man mockingly advised them to know their limits when it came to alcohol.

The darkness leaped into action and stopped the boy before anyone noticed what he was about to do. Not here. Not now…

The darkness promised revenge, if the boy would just listen. Slowly the boy let go of the sword. The darkness grinned. Pride had been injured that day, and that is a dangerous wound.

 

The twins decided to leave the following day. They spent the rest of their visit in the city locked in their room at the inn where they were staying. The blessed boy did his best to convince his brother that he was fine as anger was clear in his eyes.

Night fell. The unblessed boy sneaked out, hooded in the shadows and nightmares that accompanied him while the other twin was sound asleep.

Filled with rage for humiliating his brother by toying with him like that, the boy sought out his prey. That night he found the man walking home from the bar the road was black. When he passed a dark alley, the boy attacked from behind. One blow to his head rendered the man utterly incapable of even standing. Quickly the boy did as the darkness urged and pulled the man into the shadows. There, without hesitation or second thought, he murdered his prey in cold blood.

 

Stunned by what he had done, he stared at the lifeless corpse sitting against the wall, pale as a bleeding statue. The knife was still in his neck and his face was locked in eternal pain and surprise. His blood was on the boy’s hand. He could not describe that new, strange feeling that had overwhelmed him and he found himself lacking the ability to feel any remorse for his deed.

 

The body was found in the morning. Chocked people gathered around the man’s body. Not even once in their history, they had heard of anything that could compare. Fear spread among them like a wild fire. Fear lead to mistrust. Mistrust lead to suspicion, and the suspicion lead to mistakes.

 

As for the twins, they continued to travel together. Slowly becoming consumed by the power the obscurity could finally grant them.

 

The Darkness smiled. The veil had been torn. Nightmares could now taint dreams, shadows could stalk the mind. The world was theirs now.

Author's Note

I wrote this years ago, one of my earliest works. It's supposed to be like a myth or legend about how darkness found its way into the world.
Be honest, I'd be delighted for any critism. I want to improve

Reviews

[Forest Green]

Well done. Inspired prose of that mystery corner of the mind.

[SonOfPlunder]

The actual ideas and concept of this is really good. With some editing you have something here

[Kim]

Thanks :)

[Darkimmortal]

First of all, the first sentence needs to be reworded. It makes little sense and I would suggest that you put "Darkness, nightmares, monsters and everything of the sort was unknown to the world," Also "veil which kept it’s nightmares at bay," The "it's" should not have an apostrophe. "Nightmares lures around every dream," lures should be "lured", "But the shadows played with them like a curious dog would play with a kitten." Errr...... you shouldn't start a sentence with but, it's not actually wrong... but it is not the greatest idea. It takes away from the mature voice I am sure you want in your writing. That also goes for because and of course as well. It is technically correct, but it makes the story sound less authoritative. " Dressed in white, their father bore them up to the alter as the shadows reluctantly withdrew." The use of bore here is incorrect, I would suggest the word brought, or presented, but not bore. Bore suggests a struggle, and this is supposed to be a happy occasion. "as they did not needed words to understand each other." needed..... "The twins grew up to strong, healthy lads capable" This should be grew up as, or grew up to be, "the darkness begun to grow in form in the un-blessed boy." Begun should be began, "and the seeds of mistrust entered for the first time a heart." The order of these words needs to be rearranged, it sounds awkward. I see what you were trying to do, but it really throws of the flow of the sentence. "The chock when the boy lost was great." shock.... "Not even once in their history, they had heard of anything that could compare. " Again... the order of the words is important, it should be "had they". "Fear lead to mistrust. Mistrust lead to suspicion, and the suspicion lead to mistakes." Wrong type of led. Okay, grammar check over, let's get to the good bit.

So the first thing I am going to say is that this story has a very good backbone. It is original and interesting. However, it seems a little choppy, as in the entire flow of the story is off. You can fix this by describing what the people do, instead of just making them do it. I know this is lame, but my mother always said "why say that the fat lady sings when you can make her actually do it?" So when things are happening, like the duel that you have, actually say what happened, did they use swords or pistols? How did the one brother lose? Was he badly injured? I am curious. Also, doing the same thing for the ceremony would be good. I want to know what happened to make them leave the twins for the amount of time that was needed to mix them up, because you don't just stop a baptism in the middle. You took the time to write what actually happened when the guard was murdered, and it would add so much more to the story if you described everything that happened before that, not every little thing mind you, just the important stuff. If you do that, it will make the story less choppy and more interesting.

All in all it is a creative and original story, but it needs a good edit and a lot more description. That being said, keep penning!

[Kim]

Thank you, this is just what I needed! You've given me a lot to work with :)