Still Alive

A poem that tells a story.

 

He lay on the hospital bed

broken, bruised, and bleeding

sorry he wasn’t dead

sorry to still be breathing.

He closed his eyes and opened them wide,

but could still feel pain

not from his body, but from inside.

 

Everything will be okay,

his mother told him

as he sped onto the freeway.

You are doing just fine,

she encouraged.

Better than my first time.

 

His vision blurred and he blinked,

his heart hurt to beat,

it hurt to live, to breathe, to think…

Guilt was taking over his heart,

running through his veins,

and tearing him apart.

 

In the lane, straight ahead-

he noticed too late

a car had stopped, the engine dead-

a tight grip on his shoulder, was all he could feel

as he forgot the brake, and pulled the steering wheel-

Screeching tires, showering glass,

and the grip on his shoulder that fell away fast.

 

He was so distracted by fear,

if only he had been stronger,

she would still be here.

But still he thought - why?

His mother couldn’t be gone,

she didn’t deserve to die.

 

A pound on the door and his father burst in,

the one man he couldn’t bear to see,

the one man that should never forgive him.

He looked up, heart full of dread

and watched his father fall to his knees

by his hospital bed.

 

With a jolt he awoke, seeing the sky…

his eyes darted between each cloud,

but nothing else would move, he didn’t know why-

Suddenly there was noise, and reality kicked in-

sirens and shouting, but he didn’t listen,    

 just ordered they find his mother instead-

“There was a passenger?” was all they had said.    

 

He reached out to brace his son’s arm

but hesitated, seeing that any touch

would only cause more harm.

 

Racing through streets and through bright halls,

he never saw her, never at all.

But even when overcome by injuries and pain

he still paid attention, listening for her name.

 

He looked at his son, “You’re still alive -” he said.

“And I don’t deserve to be, I know…

…I’m sorry. It should be her instead…”

His father sighed, “Son, they told me my wife was gone,

and without her, I wondered how I’d go on.”  

 Then his father stood.

“But they said you might make it,

and I prayed that you would.”

And his father kneeled again.

“Look at me,” he said. “On you, there is no blame.

And believe me when I tell you

that she would feel the same.”

Author's Note

I've never written anything even remotely like this. It was inspired by two songs by Pearl Jam, but ended up pretty different than either of them. I'm surprised I was able to write this. Can anyone guess the songs?

Reviews

[Alexander Fox]

I need a moment... ... ...only a truly gifted writer could ever accomplish that kind of distanced masterpiece. Anyone can write about personal heartache, sorrow, loss....but only the few can take you to others pains and sorrows so precise and delicately.

[BrightEyes]

omg this is amazing - you made me cry - such a beautiful tale - so fantastically written. it flows along so easily and you've drawn the reader in perfectly. into my favs with this - truly great write.

[Wicahpi]

"�I'm sorry. It should be (her) instead�" " *should t hat be (me) instead? or am I reading it wrong...

This is positively excellent & so very sad. I don't think you need to change a darn thing (except, maybe the (her) to (me). I can't imagine being in a situation like that one. Feeling so responsible for my own parents death, leaving the other parent without their partner. Imagine the pain..you've expressed it well. I could only hope that all fathers would be so forgiving. The love of a child is so very strong. That is what you call
UNCONDITIONAL!

[Anna]

Oh wow my eyes are tearing up. You're an amazing writer! I doubt I'll ever write like you.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This is beautifully and creatively written. I felt the pain, the guilt and sadness that may never go away. This a excellent write and I don't think there could be anything to change or edit to improve the quality of this write. It is well wtitten.

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Such an amazing, yet tragic story! ...Kind of makes me nervous to get behind the wheel, but hey! Good reaction-- Your story/poem was neatly organized in my opinion. It's got a nice and simple rhyming style and the scene transitions were really cool. ^^

Awesome job! You've described the physical pain and emotional guilt very well.

Eternally Yours.