cartography

cartography

A Poem by J

                 
 
 
and if it were that easy
i'd give you a postcard scrawled with indian ink
which says everything needed to be known
in a heartbeat washed in cyan and magenta
and a dab of sunflower
yellow
the colour of home
and well-wishes before confetti is thrown
off one of those sparkling ocean liners
destined for some hard to pronounce grecian port
"where are you now? between days spent fishing
and diving in the seychelles
comfortably unaware
of the thousands displaced
by the latest numbing
headline?"
where are we now is a fitting entry to a novel
you say i'm meant to write describing moments of insanity
and devotion and happiness found in some future world
where owning all five senses would be a gift and not a promise
where not everything would be divided into three square meals
of clasped hands offering prayers
to the unknown yet slightly believable notion
that is god in whatever form your mind and origin dictates
to be the history of you and your family
caught between faith and the obvious
between premonitions and the avoidable
logic
of home.

© 2009 J



Author's Note

J
Went a bit nuts with the delay on the mic... whoops. Was fun to play around with, though.

My Review

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Featured Review

My only complaint would be with the one and two word lines; assuming it's not a formatting issue, I don't see where they serve a particular function or purpose. That being said, there is much to like about the piece. The images are vivid and well-conceived, and the meter gives it an almost lyrical feel. Very fine piece of work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I came back to visit. I do that sometimes.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Uh, wow this is amazing! I can tell you took your time with this! The work shows! That's fantastic. I don't think I've put that much effort into my writing lately, I guess it's time I do...I just get an idea and write. I don't spend more than at least 10, 20 maybe 30 minutes on it lately. I should stop doing that....I don't know. I like this though, the words you use are very impressive and breathing taking amazing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Echoes.. echoes.. echoes... I love your voice..

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

that is god in whatever form your mind and origin dictates
to be the history of you and your family
caught between faith and the obvious
between premonitions and the avoidable
logic
of home.
God is love... and so ...we all have God in the soul.. I agree...

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I could listen to you...allll day
to read this is a close 2nd
you are like a "flash prose fest"
something beat...something romantic...
and always catchy and provocative

I haven't read your work in a while...
sort of sweets after a fast
I am RE-addicted !

fabbbbb

Blesssssssssssssssss

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lyrical style .. Stacked reflections of thoughts .. interesting form of expression ... nice poem ...
Greetings Jola

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm.. Well, first I got lost in your words, and then in your voice. Combined that was quite an experience, a rare one for which I'm thankful. I loved it. =)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yes, I think I needed your words this morning, nice to float awhile on a sea of poetry . . .

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

le sigh

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Interesting how our two poems with the same title are so different; as different as the artists who crafted them. There's no use comparing Michelangelo's David to Donatello's. They are both beautiful masterpieces. It's a shame we cannot craft our verses as wonderfully as those great sculptors crafted their lifeless marble. But I see now why you chose to review the piece you did. It was good to hear from you friend. You know I have always admired your work. The recording was a bit disorienting to me so I didn't listen to much of it but I truly enjoyed the read. Drop in and visit anytime. Wonderful write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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879 Views
16 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on August 3, 2009

Author

J
J

Auckland, New Zealand



About
I exist. Most days. Hello there. more..

Writing
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