Wings

I've come to imagine

a pair of wings upon my shoulders,

both feathered and slowly flapping,

I'd but lay there calmly lying,

envisioning translucent wings

barely beating, never flying.

I only felt myself 

flirting with floating.

I continue laying,

still I'm lying,

envisioning

translucent wings

slowly flapping,

hardly lifting,

always floating;

I'm never flying.

Author's Note

Now, I know a lot of people don't really like gerunds in poems, or literature in whole, but I am a firm believer in a time and place. I believe the gerunds work in this piece and actually help form the feeling of slow beating wings by being the slightly calmer version of verbs, accented on their respective line's last syllable or utilized as an innerline rhyme (or whatever the literary term is). Anywho, like any piece, I am open to any and all criticisms, ideas, etc.

Reviews

[Bala Gorthi]

A nice write with a powerful imagery.
Yes, there are many gerunds in this write and they are fitting well in time and place.
Using gerudial forms for the sake of rhyming can affect the soul and beauty of poem. Here, you have used them in free verse so, the meaning and the poem have come out beautifully.
I loved your write.
Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thank you very much! I'm glad I am not the only one that thought it was fitting haha. Thanks for reviewing, though! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[follywood]

I really enjoyed this and nothing about it was really cliché or forced!

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thank you very much, Mr. of M(r)s. Roar! Unless for a reason or to a point, I never want to sound like that and hope that anyone would point it out when and if I do sound cliche or forced. Yet, thank you for reading and commenting! It truly makes me happy that you enjoyed it! Thanks!