Catatonia

Catatonia

A Poem by HandsomeKenn
"

Anxiety, Exhaustion, Depression meet my friend, Insomnia.

"
Sunken weighted weakened shallow breaths,
an ambiance not unlike crashing, receding waves.
How I wish I was deaf.

Beneath placid comforters, where memories hide in silence,
where blood shot eyes wander barren black lands of Catatonia,
How I wish I could dream

© 2016 HandsomeKenn



Author's Note

HandsomeKenn
This is actually unfinished, I might add another stanza or two. Also, I don't know the title yet. I merely chose Catatonia because it was the first thing that came to mind. But, like always, any feedback is oh so welcome.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Hello, Handsome! :)
I enjoyed this poem. I used to have trouble with sleep, so I connected with it. I think the meaning in your first section is a bit too buried in the wording. I suggest changing the first line to -
"Breaths, sunken, weighted weakened shallow," -
Getting the noun in first gives the reader something to associate those adjs to.


Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HandsomeKenn

10 Months Ago

Thank you very much, man! I did not think of that, though. What I had intended is to have that slig.. read more



Reviews

Hello, Handsome! :)
I enjoyed this poem. I used to have trouble with sleep, so I connected with it. I think the meaning in your first section is a bit too buried in the wording. I suggest changing the first line to -
"Breaths, sunken, weighted weakened shallow," -
Getting the noun in first gives the reader something to associate those adjs to.


Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HandsomeKenn

10 Months Ago

Thank you very much, man! I did not think of that, though. What I had intended is to have that slig.. read more
I love this piece...it is perfect.
I felt every word...and the imagery was there, and the emotion. Your words reach beneath the surface and grab the reader...making them face a reality few of us want to admit exists.

The depression that makes every breath a struggle...the white noise in your head to the point that you want to scream...burying yourself under the covers, without the will to face the day...and my favorite line: blood shot eyes wander barren black lands of Catatonia...that desolate place where the heart and spirit are unresponsive to everything but their own misery. Such a powerful piece, woven with finesse and skill. Beautiful.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HandsomeKenn

10 Months Ago

Why thank you! This might be one of my favorite reviews I've received. Gotta love when someone descr.. read more
ReedWrite

10 Months Ago

You're welcome...and if it were mine, I'd leave it as is. Sometimes, less is more. It says what it .. read more
HandsomeKenn

10 Months Ago

Haha Well, I think we're on agreement with that opinion, though. I don't think I'll be expanding upo.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

113 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 21, 2016
Last Updated on November 21, 2016
Tags: insomnia, sleep, depression, anxiety

Author

HandsomeKenn
HandsomeKenn

Normal, IL



About
Howdy, friends. I'm a writer who is still figuring out what he likes to write and, to be honest, I hope that never changes. I tend to write poetry, short stories (both nonfiction and fiction), and nov.. more..

Writing