A Poem by HandsomeKenn

Woops, forgot to include the last line!


My voice has turned red,
but I am forced to sing my life blue,
because this culture surrounding me
speaks in signs and punctuation
and cares little for what is said in between.

And now my mind turns to paranoia,
my feelings dismissed as melodramatic,
or as some pretentious person
who does not get his rocks off talking
about the same Goddamn things
over and over about the cents saved
by shopping at Kroger as opposed to Wal-Mart,
the process, never-ending;

a fabricated, implied, subliminal, thought that decrees conformity,
to press us into perfect little gears so that our cash might flow a little faster;
it doesn’t matter the means, so long as we all have the same end.

But be sure to be quick and quiet about it, eh?

I’ve cried out for ears to listen, for reciprocate lips to cradle me,
“You are not alone.” I cannot be alone. I will not be alone.
There must be more to life than these meaningless words spat out of my mouth,
every f*****g one drier than the ones before, “What can I get you to drink?”

With every failed attempt to have meaningful conversation,
my apprehension toward sincerely engaging others grows a little stronger,
its grip a little tighter, it throttles my throat, “No, she won’t care.”

But whenever I do find another’s beautiful thought,
my engagement so strong,
my mouth so thirsty
to speak meaningful words;
I am too eager.

To be dead, how long? so that I might live for fleeting, breathless minutes.

I cry out to the world with streams of ambiguity
because if I spoke plainly
the world would dismiss my feelings
as being

And when expressing myself truthfully,
whether it be about depression, or anxiety,
or apathy, or history, or literature,
I am politely treated as if I have a disease,
a contagious taboo, that there is something wrong with me.

But there is nothing wrong with me;
maybe I just have feelings.

And so, I lie in solitude,
an unyielding, deafening, loneliness
behind curtains of laughter
beneath bed spreads for two
besides these moments from after,
my vague pictures of you,
where I lament, never fully,

being missunderstood.

© 2017 HandsomeKenn

Author's Note

Any and all comments are welcome. I am always trying to improve and gain other perspectives!

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Wow this is amazing! So clear and perfect word choice.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


3 Weeks Ago

Why thank you! I am so happy you enjoyed it. And thanks for stopping by to read.

Than.. read more

3 Weeks Ago

No problem :)
I like the way you looked at others in the write then looked at your own self. Reactions of both in this crazy world. Labels fly around like s**t but mean nothing. We aren't meant' to be a duplicate mold of one another but individuals with our own diving quirks and all.. I love this..and the style your using.. Good Work.. :)

Posted 1 Month Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on May 23, 2017
Last Updated on May 23, 2017
Tags: Depression, loneliness, serving, bartending, relationships



Normal, IL

Howdy, friends. I'm a writer who is still figuring out what he likes to write and, to be honest, I hope that never changes. I tend to write poetry, short stories (both nonfiction and fiction), and nov.. more..