The Accident

     Tires screeched against the hard pavement of the road as I slammed my foot on the brake. Everything was happening so quickly that it was hard to pinpoint exactly what was going on. Loud noises-- glass shattering, metal bending-- all overwhelmed me as my body was lurched forward, my seat belt barely holding me in the front seat. My head slammed against the steering wheel, causing a massive headache to erupt in the middle of my forehead. I barely had enough time to take in a short breath as I was thrown back into my seat, all the air that I had taken in knocked from my lungs.

      This couldn't be happening to me, not me.  A sudden cry came from the back of the seat, and my heart jumped in my chest.

     Caleb! My mind shouted. I tried opening my mouth to tell him everything would be alright, but it was extremely difficult while constantly being thrown around and hit in the head. 

     My poor brother, please protect him, God. Please keep him safe through this.

     The sound of something tearing filled the car, and I immediately started to panic. I was flying through the car freely now; my seat belt had ripped under all the pressure of trying to keep me in place. I could feel my body being lifted, and before I knew it, I was being slung through the window of the passenger's side door. There's no doubt this all happened in a total of five seconds, but it felt like forever. My mind was everywhere, trying to pick up any sounds and noises.

     Light blinded my eyes, so my arms instinctively flew in front of me to protect me from anything I might hit. I landed hard on the pavement only a split second later, gravel grinding into my skin and the left side of my face. Everything hurt; my legs, my arms-- everything was in excruciating pain. I was completely out of strength. I made an attempt to open my eyes, but I was so tired and exhausted that I could barely lift my eye lids. I just wanted to sleep.

     "Melody!" someone cried nearby. The voice was so familiar, and I wanted to see who it was so badly. But the comfortable promise of sleep encompassed my body, and I didn't want to fight it. Everything around me was suddenly becoming quieter, as if everything was trying to help me fall asleep                 

     "Melody, don't go to sleep, please don't fall asleep!" The same voice pleaded. It sounded as if it was farther away, like it was in another room. But I didn't care. I just wanted the pain from my head and lungs and legs to disappear. So taking one last shaky breath, I let sleep encompass me entirely, and everything went black.

Author's Note

any comments? what should I add on? Story advice?

Reviews

[Delaney]

I really enjoyed this. The description of the car crash was so realistic, as if you had been in such a disastrous crash. If you don't mind me asking, have you? It seemed too accurately portrayed for it not to be experienced firsthand. Definitely has me hooked.

Yours truly, Delaney

[Jordan Ray]

Nope, I've never been in a car crash before! I just wanted to make it as realistic as possible, so thank you :)

[Delaney]

You're welcome!

[Pyyro]

It was interesting. I enjoyed reading this. It kinda felt so real to me, like I just pictured this happening in my head. I really liked the realism in this.

[John Lauterbach]

The language here is so jarring and erratic that it adds to the effect of being in a car crash. I love how your attention bounces between sights to sounds to emotions to pain. Big props if you intended it to work out like that.

"There's no doubt this all happened in a total of five seconds, but it felt like forever." This line is the only part I wasn't sold on. For me, it interrupted the chaos for a moment of order and definition. It does add some time to the feeling of Melody being in the air, but the distortion of time during the rest of the reading carries the same effect as the 'forever' you mention.

Fantastic. Never been in a bad accident, and I don't want to be after this.

[The Fallen]

Gah! This was soo well written!!! and I loved it , I am absolutly hooked!!! :D Read request me when the next chapter is up!!!!! Awesome job :3

[TLK]

As a reader, I like it too. What did you like about it?

[The Fallen]

Description :3