Opening Night

This is a One Act play I'm wrote for my high school's One Act Play Competition. I'm directing. This play follows stage hands during the opening night of a play. I'm a stage manager :-)

Opening Night

Curtain closed. MATTIE is pacing the stage with her cell phone in hand. TREVOR is off to the side sweeping the stage. TREVOR has a bit of a crush on MATTIE, so that should be visible all through the play.

Mattie: talking on cell phone N-n-n-no, Bradley! You are not allowed to have food poisoning on opening night. You’re the stage mana- listens to the stage manager on the phone and reacts- Yes, I know where your script is. You always keep it at your station right on the stand. "reacts to what Bradley is saying- Yes, I know where the head set is. But, you’re going to need them when you come- reacts- Who’s going to call the cues? N-n-n-n-no! I don’t know the cues! I can’t manage this show, Bradley! I don’t care that you’re throwing up and have a temp of- He hung up on me! That jerk face!

Trevor: What happened?

Mattie: The stage manager, Bradley, ate gas station sushi! You would think that someone who knows how to manage a whole show would know that buying raw fish at a sketchy gas station is stupid. But no! It’s too logical. I’m the ASM. I assist the stage manager. I don’t know this show, and now I have to run the opening show. I. Hate. My. Life

Trevor: (visibly stunned by this outburst tentatively holds out the broom) Maybe you should try sweeping the stage….it can be…therapeutic

MATTIE grabs the broom from TREVOR’s hand and forcefully begins sweeping the stage

Mattie: Like seriously! Could you believe it! 8 shows a week, and he decides to get sick the opening night.

Vincent: I don’t think he decided to get sick.

Mattie: He bought the bad sushi. What did he think was going to happen?

Trevor: …that he was going to eat lunch and come to opening night…

Mattie: Here (hands the broom to TREVOR) the stage is clean enough. I’m going into the wing and figure out how I’m going to run this show tonight.

Curtain opens on ”tonight”, and MATTIE and VINCENT go into the new set.

MATTIE walks up to stage manager’s station and picks up the head set. She looks at it for a moment, but cannot manage to put it on her head. She is not willing to accept the challenge. She grabs the script and quickly leafs through it. She puts the script back, then turns the other way. TREVOR sees this, so he walks over and puts the headset and walkie one.

Mattie: You can keep it, today if you like.

Trevor: (talks into the walkie) Red leader standing by!

Mattie: Um, Whatever-your-name-is-

Trevor: (to MATTIE) Trevor. I’m a stage hand. We’ve met in other rehearsals.

Mattie: oh, yeah…oops. Well, Trevor, that headset is not a toy. You need to know how to use it.

Trevor: (obviously joking) So you mean to tell me that this thing actually has an importance and that I’m not part of The Rebel Alliance?

Mattie: Ha-ha very funny. This is serious. I’ve always had Bradley telling me what to do.

Trevor: This is stage crew (takes off the headset and hands it to MATTIE), you need to learn how to adapt. 

Mattie: (puts on the headet and gets defensive) I know how to adapt! I learned my very first show I stage crewed.

Trevor: Then show me.

MATTIE sits on the stage manager stool and opens the script.

Mattie: (in walkie) Standby. 10 minutes. 10 minutes until the top of Act I.

Trevor: Not so hard to start a show, eh?

Mattie: You’re not the one starting it. Begins reading the script I can’t read any of this!

Trevor: You can read English. You speak it

Mattie: I can read English. I just can’t read a kindergartener’s scribbles! What am I going to do for this show?

Trevor: Adapt

LENA enters

Lena: (as she walks on) Bradley! Bradley! You need to fasten my harness! (pauses)Where’s Bradley?

Mattie: He has food poisoning. I’ve got the show covered today, though.

Lena: Well, you need to fasten my harness for my flying scene.

Mattie: I’ve never fastened a harness before. What happens if I fasten it wrong?

Lena: Then I fall to my death.

Mattie: Then before you fall to your death, you better go and find someone who knows what they’re doing.

Lena: Well, I’ve never! Do you know how good of an actress I am? I can be in any show I want to. I don’t need-

Mattie: (to walkie) Standby! 5 minutes. 5 minutes until the top of Act I.

Lena: Fine! I don’t need the harness until act 2 anyway.

Mattie: Well, good.

LENA storms offstage

Trevor: Attitude

Mattie: Well, she deserved it.

Trevor: Right

Mattie: What?

Trevor: You mean to tell me that an assistant stage manager doesn’t know how to put on a flight harness?

Mattie: Well, I do. Bradley showed me one of the dress rehearsals. I just don’t like Lena that much.

Trevor: laughs Feisty

MATTIE sits on the stage manager stool and opens the script

Mattie: So, Trevor, can you please make yourself useful and decode these hieroglyphics?

TREVOR picks up the script off of the stand and comically studies it. He looks at it upside-down, sideways, right ways, etc…

Trevor: Have The Rosetta Stone?

Mattie: No clue? We are going to die tonight.

Trevor: gives MATTIE the script Oh don’t worry. We just have all the critics here tonight. If they give us a bad review, the company will close because nobody will see the show. Then we’ll all be out on the street living in a cardboard box. But, no pressure or anything

Mattie: Gets a petrified look. Talks into the walkie Standby! 3 Minutes. 3 minutes until the start of Act I. Sign in

Trevor: I was kidding

Mattie: So, why aren’t you with the rest of the stage crew?

Trevor: Well, it’s more fun here.

Mattie: Fun watching me fail.

Trevor: You’ll be f-.

LENA runs in to the wing

Lena: I’m about to be sick!

Trevor: What’s wrong?

Lena: Oh, did I ask you?

Mattie: No, Lena, you can’t get sick now! We’re looks at watch 2 minutes to the top of Act I. 

STAGE CREW enter

these next lines are said at the same time: 

Lena: I’m going to throw up! Is about to throw up and picks up a prop Can this work?

Stage Crew: improv lines like “Who are you”, “you’re not the stage manager”, etc... TREVOR laughs

MATTIE breaks up the craziness

Shut up! (to walkie) Places! This is your call for places for the top of Act I. Standby!  House lights off. Go! ….Standby! Start the overture. Go! (to stage crew) Bradley had food poisoning. As you know, I’m the ASM, so I’m taking over today. And do I see a white logo? Cover it up with black gaff tape right now!(to LENA) No! You cannot throw up in that vase! It’s a prop, and no you may not touch the props on the prop table unless you want to die. Also, no you are not allowed to be sick today. We don’t have time to get your understudy because (to walkie) Standby! Open the curtain. (to LENA) You’re just nervous! Relax! (to walkie) Go!

Trevor: You’ve got this show, Mattie.

Mattie: I’m concentrating, Trevor. (in walkie) standby. Lights 71….no lights 17… How can Bradley even read this?…um…just put on bright lights! Go!

Trevor: Or you can just do that….

Mattie: Oh, shut up. Do you want to do this total nightmare?

Trevor: Nah, you can keep it.

Mattie: (to walkie) Standby on the main. (to LENA) Now, get your butt on stage.

Lena: But I don’t feel well

Mattie: If you don’t get on that stage, the critics will give us a bad review and you won’t get another job. Now get on the stage

TREVOR pushes her onstage

LENA exits

Mattie: (to walkie) Go! Standby music 1…and go (to TREVOR) Thank you

Trevor: (playfully) Anything to do soon?

MATTIE flips through the pages of the script

Mattie: The big Act I scene change is in 5 pages. I need to get rea-

Trevor: Good, you don’t have anything. Goes to help her off her stool

Mattie: No, I have to stay here.

Trevor: to STAGE CREW #1 Hey, can you please read the script? We’ll be back soon

Mattie: ( genuinely)  I can’t, Trevor. I don’t know what I’m doing. Show me whatever you wanted to show me during intermission or something. (to walkie)Standby! I think Bradley wrote a note here. Improv random sounds Ummm….let’s just say, Standby whoever thinks they’re next! Go! …I think…. YAY! It worked! Great job! (to stage crew) Get ready, kiddos, for a little panic attack in about 3 pages. (to TREVOR) Can you go get me something to drink?

Trevor: What would you like? Water? Coke? Vitamin Water?

Mattie: Anything hard

Trevor: laughing I’ll go and get you some water.

TREVOR begins to walk away

Stage Crew #2: So what do we have to do during this scene change?

Mattie: See that corn stock patch?

Stage Crew #2: Yes

Mattie: While rail is getting rid of that you lovelies need to manually set up for the next scene. All of this is under 20 seconds. Kill me now. Take me out of my misery.

TREVOR enter

Trevor: How many more pages until the set change? Hands MATTIE the water bottle

Mattie: A page. This better be vodka in disguise (takes a sip of water).

Trevor: You’ll be fine. What do you need me to do?

Mattie: Um…Do you know how the set is supposed to look like?

Trevor: Isn’t it in your notes? And you should know from rehearsals.

Mattie: Bradley always told me what to do, and does it look like I can read Bradley’s notes? I’ve been free-styling.

Trevor: And you’ve been doing a really good job at it, too obviously flirting

Mattie: (obvious to the flirting as usual) So, do you know where stuff goes?

Trevor: Roughly. I have been to rehearsals.

Mattie: Thank you! (to walkie) Standby. Rails make the corn go away. Blackout and blackout music on my count. pauses Go!

Stage lights dim

TREVOR and STAGE CREW exit S.L with some assorted set and prop pieces

Mattie: Standby. Lights up. Music fade to music 153 or 188….or whatever song is next in your book.

TREVOR and STAGE CREW return

Mattie: Go!

Stage Lights back to normal

Trevor: You’re doing really really well, Mattie. Don’t worry, Act I is done really soon.

Mattie: But there’s still Act II

Trevor: You’ll be fine. Everyone’s here to help you.

LENA enters

Lena: (This is said partially offstage. While walking on, this is directed to the “stage”. She’s crying) No, Rodney! I love you, but I can’t marry you because you’re an alien. You lied to me. (to everyone in the wings in a backstage shout. She’s out of character, so she’s pretty peppy) The audience is really loving me tonight! It’s going super good! I don’t know why I was so nervous

Mattie: Quiet in the wings. Lena, that means you!

LENA walks over to the prop table and leans on it. She begins playing with a prop.

Mattie: If you touch the props when you don’t need one, you will die.

Trevor: Seriously, just put the prop down please and get ready for your next scene

Lena: Relax. I use this prop later on in the show. I’m not going to break the prop breaks …it… oopse. LENA freezes.

Mattie: What did you just do!

Trevor:  Keep up with the illusion of theatre and pretend you don’t exist. Quiet down, Mattie. To LENA Unless you need to go on in a minute, just go back into the green room. We’ll fix this.

Lena: As she’s walking out I didn’t mean to break it.

These next two lines are said at the same time

Trevor: We know you didn't

Mattie: If you didn't mean to, you wouldn't have touched it. 

Lena: I really didn’t mean to. I was just playing around. Bradley wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it.

Trevor: Just go and get ready for your next scene, Lena. Don’t worry, you’ll have a replacement for your scene.

LENA exits

Trevor: (knocking some sense in MATTIE) She’s right. He’s so much more level-headed about backstage crises. It’s just a broken prop. There’s usually replacements on hand in case problems happen. The world is not ending Miss Negative Nellie. Why did you decide to become an assistant stage manager for 8 shows a week for a professional company if you can’t take a little bit of pressure? I’ve given you a lot of slack because of the situation, but I’m done with your drama. Just get it together and do your job.

Mattie: Bradley tells me exactly what to do. I’m wonderful at my job, but this isn’t my job.

Trevor: It’s one of them.

Mattie: You done?

Trevor: (tone should be a“are you done feeling sorry for yourself” tone) Are you?

Mattie: I can’t believe you. You..you..unlady-like word!

Trevor: laughing  You’re transmitting

MATTIE fixes her walkie

Mattie: Shut that hole in your face, Trevor. (to walkie) Sorry about that, lovelies. Where were we? Oh, yes. Standby for intermission. On my call, shut off the stage lights and close the curtain. Whatever music you’re playing sound, fade it out to the intermission music. Then flip the house lights when the music fades into the intermission music. In that order. Pauses  Go! Pauses Great job. Before you go, Rails, can you get the stage together for the new act? Thank you

TREVOR and STAGE HANDS bring props on “stage” and return with the ones they brought off earlier.

TREVOR places a prop on the prop table

Trevor: You’d almost think you’re a stage manager now.

Mattie: playfully Oh, shut it.

Trevor: (picking up the broken prop) I’ll go and get that replacement.

Mattie: (grabs the broken prop from Trevor) No, let me. I am the stage manager today. I guess you’re my ASM tonight.

Trevor: Let me. You can try to translate the script.

Mattie: No, I can do it. I have arms.

MATTIE exits

TREVOR, who is obviously in love with her gazes at her as she leaves the stage.

Stage Crew #3: Come on, Trevor.

TREVOR is too busy daydreaming to pay attention.

Stage Crew #2: Trev- ROMEO

Trevor: just notices them Oh, yeah. What’s up?

Stage Crew #1: You going to help us out here or are you going to swoon?

Trevor: I’m not swooning

Stage Crew #1: Really? You’re drooling

Trevor: (self-conscious and wiping his mouth) No I’m not.

Stage Crew #3: Trevor and Mattie sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Trevor: Oh, shut it.

Stage Crew #2: Awwww, he’s even quoting her.

MATTIE enters with a replacement prop.

Mattie: Quoting who?

Trevor: (quick to answer to stifle the STAGE CREW’s teasing) The play. I’m already quoting it.

Mattie: It’s only opening night.

Trevor: I know, but it’s just so catchy.

Mattie: What line is it?

Trevor: I uh forget. (quickly changing topics) Hey! You found a replacement!

Mattie: It isn’t exact, but it’ll work.

Trevor: So how long is intermission?

MATTIE glances at her watch

Mattie: (to walkie) Standby. 5 minutes. 5 minutes until the top of Act II. (to TREVOR) I do believe we have 5 minutes until Act II.

Trevor. Ha-ha very funny. So, how does Act II look?

Mattie: a total nightmare

Trevor: Maybe to you. Like, what do we have to do?

Mattie: Well, Act II is much shorter than Act II. The only major thing is the flying sequence at the end when Lena’s character, Natalia, realizes how wrong she was for being so prejudice against the alien, Rodney. They both float up, make up, and make-out. Done!

Trevor: That sounds easy

Mattie: We’ve only practiced the flight sequence twice. (to walkie) Places! This is your call to places.

Trevor: (jokingly) Well, you’re going to fail.

Mattie: (brokenly) What?

Trevor: I was joking.

Mattie: (lightly slaps his arm) Don’t joke about that kind of stuff.

Trevor: Hey, Mattie, I was wondering if you’d like-

Mattie: Wait one second. (to STAGE CREW) Hey, I need you over here. (sits back at the stage manager station and talks into the walkie) Sign in! pause Standby. House lights off. New music. Curtain up. Stage lights on. In that order on my call. Pauses Go!

LENA enters

Lena: (to TREVOR) Is the prop situation fixed?

Trevor: Don’t worry. It is. Also, I think Mattie is starting to get the hang of this.

Lena: (to MATTIE) Hey, can you help me with my flight harness?

Mattie: Fall

Trevor: Mattie!

Mattie: Fine. Trevor take over for a few (she hands him the headset). I’m going to go and make sure she doesn’t die on opening night. Fake coughs Macbeth! She gets off of the stool

Lena: Go step on a LEGO

MATTIE and LENA exit

TREVOR puts on the headset and sits at her stool

Trevor: (on walkie) Breaker Breaker 1-2-3. This is Captain Trevor! I’ll be taking over for Mattie while she’s making sure Lena doesn’t die during the flying scene. So, there are some scribbles in the script, so I’m just going to assume important stuff happens soon. You know who you are if you have to do it, so do it when you need to do it. This stage managing stuff is easy. Laughs

MATTIE and LENA enter

Lena: You better not drop me when I’m flying.

Mattie: Now, why on Earth would I ever do that to you?

Trevor: When’s the flying scene?

Lena: When  I realize how wrong I was for judging Rodney when he took off his shape shifting spell, so he was his natural form, a purple one eyed alien from Planet X

Trevor: And this is a professional musical

Lena: There’s a tap number soon with lots of dinosaurs, so don’t worry about it. That reminds me. I need to get on stage now.

LENA exits

Mattie: How’s the show?

Trevor: It’s going well. I got this thing covered.

Mattie: Can I have the headset and station back?

Trevor: I don’t know. I kind of like it here.

MATTIE giggles

Trevor: Well, the headset was made for you Hands MATTIE the headset and she sits on the stool.

Mattie:  laughing Yeah.

Trevor: Can you just tell me one thing? What’s this show even about? There is a corn field. We have all these unrelated props back here. And there is an alien/ human romance. And there are tap dancing dinosaurs. Like seriously? What’s the point of it?

Mattie: Absolutely no clue. I just know I have to get this life sized Triceratops to appear on the stage in (to walkie) Standby! Rail! Wave your magic wands and make a Triceratops appear. Pause Go!

Trevor: reacts to the Triceratops appear on the “stage” Whoa! That’s actually really really cool!

Mattie: And Lena’s character looks at the Triceratops and says-

Lena offstage : Oh, Rodney! You know I love dinosaurs!

Trevor: Hey look! The triceratops is tap dancing! It doesn’t make any sense, but it looks cool!

Mattie: yup and we’re almost done to walkie Standby! Lights, sound, and whoever’s doing the flying! On my count. Go!

Trevor: Look! They’re flying! Awwww! And now they’re kissing! It’s a happy ending!

Mattie: to walkie Standby! Stage lights off

Lena: offstage Oh, Rodney! I’ll marry you! Wait, do they marry on Planet X?

Mattie: to walkie Go! To TREVOR We did it! Opening Night’s done!

Trevor: You did it!

Mattie: (didn’t pay attention to TREVOR) Finally! It’s over! I need a drink

Trevor: (flirting )Well, want to come and get a drink with me

Mattie: Sure.

Trevor: (spelling it out for her) I mean. Do you want to get a drink with me?

Mattie:( blushingly) Sure

Blackout

Lights up

Curtain Call

Blackout

Author's Note

I have a long time before the play, so be as critical as possible. I want this play to be as great as possible. They must be 15-30 minutes, so keep that in mind.
I'm a stage manager, so I wanted to pay tribute to stage hands in this.
As a stage manager, I'm nothing like Mattie. I'm more like Bradley (but not stupid enough to eat gas station sushi).