Three Love Tankas

This is for my English project.

Spring

We lay blissfully

Beneath the budding maple.

We breathe the new air;

Hearts joyfully fluttering,

A shared new emotion. 

The Day

The March fills the church

As I walk down the aisle

To marry my prince. 

Our lives are forever merged.

Each day, an adventure awaits. 

Porch

Rocking on our chairs, 

The sun lights our memories.

An album on lap,

We reminisce on our life,

Our sixty years together. 

Reviews

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

oh wow! i've never seen a set of tankas be put together, as a story, and flow so smoothly like this!

and the last stanza brought the perfect sense of closure to this poem...true love in the perfect marriage will, and always will, remain strong as the years pass by...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the go together..."A+" although i might take a half point off for "fluttering"

have seen that much to much lately in poetry...sort of like "shards" used to be overused...

but a nice blend of seasons of life...especially like the last one..and the reminiscing...

jacob

[Kelsey O'Connell]

Beautiful imagery and well written.

Great job ! :)

[Amila Jay]

Well written :))

[KT]

YES, they go together! I felt like I was reading the high points of the love of someone's life. I don't know much about Tankas, but I think you did a wonderful job here. Excellent work!

[The Wave]

The syllables are very nicely done!

[Danielle]

Great poem! I really like the walk through life (:

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Spring, in tanka format is very nice. Good formation of telling the pathway of life. The seasons are so closed with the people. The life and culture also having close association with the nature and seasons. Good. I like it. With regards.
I used to write modern haiku poetries. If time finds kindly review. Best wishes.

[Cassie Fraga]

great walk through life.... a poetic story thats what this is... and you tell it so well... GREAT WORK!!!

[zero binty]

I like the fact that it's a condensed version of a Life. Didn't know what a tanka was, but after you explained it...yah, still don't get it. Of the different forms of writing, I don't need classifications.