Seedless/ Fruitless (You are, I am)

Seedless/ Fruitless (You are, I am)

A Poem by Julianna Marie

You were seedless,
I was fruitless--
but by God, we fell from the same tree:
The forbidden tree,
with its forbidden fruit--
we all want what we lack.
You appear to have it all,
but you have no beginning.
I appear to have it all,
but I have no end--
You and I together,
we have no story whatsoever.
Bruised fruit is all you are,
who will want you now?
You are rotting from the inside-out,
I am the discarded pit someone tossed aside--
ripped away of everything I was,
ripped away of everything you loved;
it was all gone within bites:
1, 2, 3...and I was done for.
With only a pit to call by my name,
I might as well bury myself now.
You'll rot in the dirt,
and join me in time.
You'll rot in the dirt,
and you
will die.
You are seedless,
I am fruitless--
but by God,
we are buried in the same grave.
The worms will eat you,
until there is nothing left.
The worms will eat you,
and your remains will be my fertilizer.
What's left of you will help me grow;
I may live,
I may prosper,
but you, my dear,
are now long gone.
When I have grown,
and I am beautiful,
I may just drop a rotten piece of fruit,
and pray there is a seed beneath its layers.
When I have grown,
and I am beautiful,
I may just hope that seed grows,
and it grows into you--
You  may live (again,)
you may prosper,
and we may need each other,
we may need each other
to have any chance at life.

© 2010 Julianna Marie



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I was surprised when the narrator turned on her lover. The storyline of the piece changed here, and it was a bit shocking. By the end It seemed as though she had come to own him. That didn't exactly add up when one considers that in most of the piece they are painted as equal parts. You may want to revisit it and see what you can do to balance that out.

I did like the reference to the fruit and the pit of the fruit. That was nice. You carried that through the rest of the piece and made it work even in the growing stage at the end. That was good to see.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This has a twisted biblical ring to it.
Love your descriptive imagery here.
This was a pleasure to read...

Posted 7 Years Ago


The poem story is so good. I like so many of the statements. "You are seedless. I am fruitless-- but by God, we are buried in the same grave." You write with a experience pen. Remind me of a Hemingway book. Poem is outstanding. Was a pleasure to read your beautiful and powerful poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago



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3 Reviews
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Added on May 4, 2010
Last Updated on August 14, 2010
Tags: fruit, seedless, fruitless, you, me, love, soulmates, destiny, death, worms, burial, beauty

Author

Julianna Marie
Julianna Marie

Seattle, WA



About
I'm a 21 year old girl living in Seattle, student/poet/barista. I believe in art, poetry, psychology, and music-- I don't think its safe to believe in much else. more..

Writing

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