The Dancer

The Dancer

A Poem by JustNonsenseAndSugar

Green eyes, 
Out of touch,
Numb to pain and hunger.
Whispered words
in clasped hands
call sparks asunder.
````````````````````````````
Snow flurries bite
lightly feather brushes.
For sparks do not feel
endless cold of night.
Death gives him up,
leaving her daughters without fire.
Land of death waits
to reclaim his light.
````````````````````````````
Death releases,
feathered breast.
Gold stained with blood,
shedding wings of ash.

© 2018 JustNonsenseAndSugar



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Featured Review

Such a touching poem that was a joy to read. I think my favorite line was "Gold stained with blood" that was just such powerful imagery that I imagined something like a golden chalice covered in blood, it truly was a mesmerizing experience. I really liked that you used "Green eyes" instead of blue eyes that everyone (I, myself am guilty of this) uses. I really enjoyed reading this poem and thought that it great details that made it really special. This was well written looking through it I can't seem to find any mistakes. Although there is a bit which confused me a little "Death gives him up, leaving her daughters without fire." is this where the father dies and leave the woman with green eyes's daughters behind? Or is this meant to be written as "His".

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JustNonsenseAndSugar

6 Months Ago

Green eyes are my weakness. I myself have blue eyes and my characters often have blue eyes but all m.. read more



Reviews

An intriguing write and worthy of much praise, N

Posted 7 Months Ago


My favorite part was the middle. I am curious as to the background to the story.

Posted 7 Months Ago


There is some background needed to this poem. This is how I see the character called Dustfinger from Inkheart trilogy. Dustfinger is a fire dancer, able to call upon flames. He is often called Fire Dancer. Death in the story is shown as a gold bird with a bloody breast that shapeshifts into other forms of death. Death's daughters are called the White Women and they adore Dustfinger's fire.

Posted 7 Months Ago


You are seeing clearly. A "vision of beauty" is the otherside of "love". Our capacity to love is nigh extinction, what our parents or ancestors celebrated is threatened in modern times. Only mixed breeds and untold creatures in human form (such as a very good dancer) can rescue us from the land of death. My submission however is "the land of plenty" and I am "coach of Crest FC". Stay with me dancer.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Such a touching poem that was a joy to read. I think my favorite line was "Gold stained with blood" that was just such powerful imagery that I imagined something like a golden chalice covered in blood, it truly was a mesmerizing experience. I really liked that you used "Green eyes" instead of blue eyes that everyone (I, myself am guilty of this) uses. I really enjoyed reading this poem and thought that it great details that made it really special. This was well written looking through it I can't seem to find any mistakes. Although there is a bit which confused me a little "Death gives him up, leaving her daughters without fire." is this where the father dies and leave the woman with green eyes's daughters behind? Or is this meant to be written as "His".

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JustNonsenseAndSugar

6 Months Ago

Green eyes are my weakness. I myself have blue eyes and my characters often have blue eyes but all m.. read more

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5 Reviews
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Added on November 1, 2017
Last Updated on May 2, 2018

Author

JustNonsenseAndSugar
JustNonsenseAndSugar

Somewhere, MI



About
I lack understanding of others so it is difficult for me to comment on your writing. If you ask me to specifically, I will try to do my best however. I will try to comment on writing but I normally av.. more..

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