I Wish

I Wish

A Poem by K MacLugh
"

Grief is a process. Some days it’s harder to just keep going. “The Lord is very near to the broken-hearted, and rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

"
I wish sometimes that I could simply disappear,  
That I could run far away, 
That I had someplace to run to. 
I wish my head was not so full of could have been, 
I wish I had made fewer mistakes, 
That I had never hurt the ones I love, 
That I could take back every unkind word, 
But I can’t.

I wish I knew how to vanish, 
Just walk into that great vault of blue
Hang my broken heart on a star,
And just keep walking until I leave the stars behind; 
Not worry about leaving things undone,
Or hurting the ones I love by my leaving.
I wish they didn’t matter,
But they do.

I wish I didn’t wish all these things. 
I know I'm loved, and it matters. 
I know I’m needed, that I need them too.
I wish my throat didn't ache with tears I cannot cry. 
I want so much to be able to say 
I’m so glad that I’m alive, 
Yet sill I wish. 

I wish I could feel Your peace again.
I wish I could trust You unhesitatingly,
Follow You unquestioningly again.
I wish I could know that Your joy is my strength. 
I wish I knew You like You know me. 
I wish my heartbeat quickened at the thought of You
As it still does when I think of him.
I wish I could change me.

I wish You sat right here, where I could see You. 
I wish You did not seem so far away today,
That You would talk to me out loud.
I wish I could see him one more time, 
Hear his precious voice again.
I wish You were both here where I could touch You. 
My head knows You are as near as my own heart. 
I wish I could feel it.

© 2017 K MacLugh



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"I wish I didn’t wish all these things.
I know I'm loved, and it matters.
I know I’m needed, that I need them too.
I wish my throat didn't ache with tears I cannot cry.
I want so much to be able to say
I’m so glad that I’m alive,
Yet sill I wish. "

For some, it is good enough that you're alive but it is human nature to want for more. To wish wishes almost impossible to grant. It is impossible for us but not for Him. Keep wishing and dreaming. Personally, those two are enough things for me to keep breathing. They give me joy and will to continue walking.

I love this piece. Gave me chills as i downed the contents to the core of my soul. Keep sharing your lovely works.

-Cookie :)

Posted 3 Days Ago



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Added on October 6, 2017
Last Updated on October 6, 2017
Tags: Grief, wish, run, faith

Author

K MacLugh
K MacLugh

About
Τhough I've kept a journal for more than fifty years, it is only recently that I have begun to write for the pure joy of writing. I haven't really settled into a particular genre. I was invited.. more..

Writing
I Prayed I Prayed

A Poem by K MacLugh